What was dead will come back to life...

"What was dead will come back to life"... (Sweet words God just whispered to me...)

It's been a hard parenting season lately.

Hard on the heart and it makes a longing for earlier times when life wasn't so hard. Someday, Lord willing, I can go into detail about it, but right now He's asking me to keep walking it without sharing.

I walked out front this evening as my husband and boys were playing four square with a sweet neighbor boy and saw this.

It took my breath away.

I stopped in my tracks and just wanted to cry.

We long ago thought these tulips we planted a year ago were dead and gone. Yet here they are sprouting again. I can't help but feel Christ whispering to me "I am raising something new. You had written them off, but I was busy under the surface."

 I have so much prayer and hope for the new.

My soul is weary and I'm ready for new. 

I'm ready for restored. 

I'm ready for rebuilt. 

I'm ready for strength to return. 

But not just for me; for every member of my family. Each in their own way. So much of "us" has left recently. Has changed. It's hard to watch the waste away at all of the same time knowing the refining is happening.

The New will poke though in His timing. What I think is dead is really only growing under the surface until He calls it forth to reach forth towards the sun.

My soul hangs on for that moment. The moment of breathing above the surface to happen again. The moment it feels all is going to be okay again. Stronger than before.

It'll come.

I will continue to praise Him until and after that day comes. Even if it doesn't come... He is still good and has His plan through it all. His glory will be revealed through every inch.

Without a doubt. 

These two songs keep playing on repeat in my heart. God is yearning for me to spending some one on one time writing out their lyrics and crying my heart out to Him through them. There is so much my heart cries out through both. I desperately need some quiet pen and paper time for what my heart feels with the following lyrics.

He is doing something new with us... 

I have this hope it'll come... 

and even if what I hoped and thought would be our family doesn't come... 

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

We remember all the great things You have done

We believe that greater things are still to come

We remember all the great things You have done

We believe that greater things are still to come

Scripture & A Snapshot: Psalm 139:17-18

This week I was going through saving all the pictures from a trip my family and I took right after Christmas. We had the pleasure of getting to spend some time with my sister and her family for 2 days around El Paso. On the full day we all had there we took a trip a little north to White Sands, NM.

Oh man, let me tell you... if you have never been there... YOU MUST! The sight can not simply be described to an extent worthy of words. It's breathtaking!!

While I was capturing the cousins sledding down the gypsum God whispered to look down at the grains that surrounded my every being. Thoughts of how to buy groceries when the laughter of the trip was over had been flooding my head the whole trip and in that single whisper of "look down"my breath caught. God thought about each and every one of these little grains that I was so thoughtlessly raking my fingers through. The feel was stunning and cool to the touch. While I am sure the 40's-50's in temps helps but it was still very cool to the touch.

God gave me the perfect image within those grains right there in the middle of a missile testing valley that even though those grains were in His thoughts how much more does He see me and will take care of my needs?! In a single moment of looking down and seeing this impression in the sand from where my knee had been propped alongside of the hill each grain looked so profound and visible.

He sees me. 

He sees you. 

He sees each of our thoughts and needs, and even though he holds the entire world in His hands He tenderly cares for each of our needs as He does each grain of sand. The master is carefully tending to each and every one of us. We often forget that but aren't you glad He never does! 

Scripture and a Snapshot {Revelations 3:20}

It's been way to long since I have made one of these and I ran across this picture yesterday. The second I saw it this verse swept over me and took my breath away! I knew right then and there I had to type this one up! 

I am working on a page that will have all of my Scriptures and Snapshots all in one place. I pray as I work on it and then post it that the Lord speaks to you through these verses as He has me.

What I loved so much about this meme is it brought Scripture more to life for me. I could see the elements around me differently and the Lord would lay a verse on me that would correlate with it. It was amazing!  

If you feel lead to create one yourself as well I'd love to know so I may come and see what the Lord has placed on your heart as well! I miss this little meme that used to flock the pages of our blogs so long ago. I hope to bring it back as the Lord directs. 

When life has you upside down

Ever get so busy in life you don't know what end is up? Or you are on a rollercoaster and you aren't sure where the end of the ride is; let alone how it will look when you get there?

That's exactly how the last 6 months has felt. 6 months ago life as we had come to know it flipped upside down again. The longer in limbo we sit the longer it feels more difficult.

Don't get me wrong there have been some up parts but they have been forced and added in to an already crowded calendar, but it felt like the only want to make life seem like it used to be. Small moments like a quick road trip, or ones coming up. Life has been so nuts that on the days we used to research things like, Dr. Seuss's birthday, we just "collapse" on the couch and ignore the laundry pile and try not to sleep at 7pm.

As a homeschooling mom it kills me that we aren't doing more crafts or exploring. It feels like we are just surviving. Oh the parts of homeschooling you don't always hear. What!? You mean to tell me homeschooling doesn't always have that major project being built or nature walk that takes place everyday? Nope. It doesn't. There are days where if you only read the material and check it off and you feel accomplished.

Plain and simple.

The long and the short of it is I miss when we could explore or dive in to a topic and blow the lesson plan. It's been too long. My soul longs for the freedom feeling in that. I know my kids miss it too but it doesn't seem to fit the time available lately. Crazy since we have one car again, but such is life huh?

There doesn't seem to much time for anything lately. Running here and there, or having this or that to do after school and Daddy getting home. Busyness = not enough time to grocery shop, or cook at home, or the simple things. Add in starting a business and you might as well have had a full sports schedule. The kids aren't even playing this season and I still feel like that is no time.

I know," come on Lynds you aren't the only one..." and I agree but right now it feels so daunting and I am beyond excited for Spring Break. More for the "break" even though we have no where to go and thanks to the funky break schedules here we don't have a single week (of the 2 available) where everything we do is off at the same time. Yippee... please note the sarcasm. haha! I wish we could go somewhere or for Daddy to have a little time off. I wish we could do something for the kids just to break up the norm, but I'm reminded in my whining that they are healthy, and have a house of their own and a yard of their own. We will make it fun on a budget here.

I'm also reminded to go back in my photos, as little as there are lately, and look at see what we have been blessed to do in the busyness.  Do you ever do that? Does it help change your perspective on things?

So, though it's been crazy. Though I have no idea what God is doing right now, and though we don't have vacations planned or anything else we still have been blessed in the craziness. It's been 6 months of seeking. It's been 6 months of bonding together and trying to hear the whisper. 6 months. Has it really been that long already?

In the 6 months we have celebrated birthday's and an anniversary. We celebrated holiday's and the start of a new semester of co-op. We have seen some amazing events, and even made it to a national monument. I stepped out on faith of a calling God has been whispering for me to do for the last 10 years. We are about to celebrate our oldest officially hitting teenage years. We have celebrated that we still have a job, are still free to worship, and though errands run short we still have food on the table. We are still able to teach our children at home, even when somedays you question how much is being retained. We hit a milestone where it is official... all 3 children are good readers. That means it's official... I have taught, from start to finish, all 3 of our children how to read. It's so crazy to think about when laid out like that.

Guess maybe I really do know which end is up and that when I reach the end of this rollercoaster it's going to look amazing!

Now, if only could get caught up with everything. Heck at this stage I'd just take feeling caught up. Ha!

On the upside it's refreshing to know this is coming...

January Frame of Mind

We haven't even hit Christmas yet and God is already so loudly saying "look ahead to the new."

Yesterday I am came to write all about how it feels like he has been equipping me this year, and especially these last months, to say goodbye to things in my life, and hello to others. 2015 has been such an interesting ride, to say the least. Ups and downs I didn't see coming, yet either direction God kept us on our feet!

Great is His Faithfulness!

After I deleted the post, twice, I was on Instagram later that afternoon and ran across Lysa Terkeurst's post... Okay, God... I get it. I'm listening.

January called with a gentle reminder that one cookie is good. But eating ten everyday in December will be a situation she doesn't want me to have to deal with during our 31 days together. Thank you January. Wisdom makes decisions today that are still good for tomorrow. #madetocrave #thebestyes

A photo posted by @lysaterkeurst on Dec 16, 2015 at 4:43am PST

I loved this! It affirmed to me I wasn't just jumping the gun or overlooking the beauty of this season (although it's killing me it may be near 80, 8-0 people, here around Christmas! It's not right I tell you!)

I'm not trying to overlook the season or move too fast to miss it, but I have such a pull to "get things ready" for whatever God is bringing for 2016. I don't know what He is planning but he has told me to say goodbye to one thing in particular at the end of December and gear up for something in January. He has been randomly (okay let's be honest... not random to him but it sure feels that way to me) bringing people into my path asking for things I have felt him preparing me for, again. He has whispered of "new" possibilities for the rest of the year as well. He has plans and I don't want to miss the whisper of when to jump. I don't want to move ahead of him either.

It truly is such a fine line.

I am here to tell you that those words of God you keep stored in your heart. You know the ones. The ones that shout whispers all throughout the day to you. The ones about the present, past, and your future; its beyond okay to prepare for them. If God is saying to start having a "January train of thought in December" then run with it! Don't brush them off due to your thought of "I'm not supposed to think of that now. Now is the season for something else to be focused on." His thoughts are not our thoughts and it may seem weird to prep for that, especially in the heart of a season all about celebrating God, but he wants to celebrate you following his call... everyday... of the year.

So here is to whatever January thinking God is doing in you this December. Remember you are not alone and His plans are always great! Don't let your heart be troubled or afraid of what He is preparing even now... Just embrace it.

Scripture And A Snapshot: Cling

This last year has been something else. Life full of change and uncertainty at times. One thing I know through it all is that we have had to CLING to God more than ever.

This verse has been one that God keeps laying on my heart. No matter what we have been faced with his right hand has upheld us!

He will up hold you too!

Remembering Job & singing AMEN

There is a moment in my day where I hear God's voice saying... "Daughter, please... " Please could be for a number of numerous topics depending on the day. For the last couple months we have been going through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. We've been doing his system for years... years... haphazardly and making progress but we certainly were not running with "gazelle intensity." This year though we are and whoa nelly the difference. Not just in our finances but our family and even marriage. Even the kids view our finances and when even your 5 year old holds you accountable to that little white cash envelope you know God really is leading you in the right direction.

With every step in God's will you know Satan is sitting there asking God, "Is it time yet to trip them up!? Come on please? They aren't going to hold true." I picture God just sitting back, looking down and smirking saying, "Oh really?! Remember Job? They've got this! I've equipped them and their eyes are on me. Good luck." It's funny cause over time you start to feel weary, you look up and God whispers one word... Job... it's like water to my soul. I start to snicker, put my head down like I'm a bull running for the matador and I'm running to prove a point. To stand taller and stronger on the other side of that red cape.

I was staring out the rain stained window a couple days ago and just replaying the last couple months and all that it's meant to my husband's profession due to weather and timing in the year. I was praying about the future and what that looks like and the thin path that awaits us for the next month or so. As I was staring out that window God literally spoke to me. He spoke to me so softly and calmly, just like the Father who wraps his hurting child into his arms with their favorite blanket for comfort, and said, "Daughter, why are you worrying about the business and money? Have I not always provided for you all and brought you through to the other side? Do you not see the numbers and that every need is provided for? Keep your eyes on me, keep putting me first in everything, and I will never let you down. This is just to make you guys stronger. I will provide." 

I literally wanted to cry.

I wanted to make my husband stop the car and cry and tell him all God had just spoken to me. He's weary too but he's strong and faithful. He's just exhausted. I pulled out my phone and typed the words into my notes so I would never forget the day, time, and moment. I was reminded yet again that he fills our storehouses for us well in advance if we just listen to his teachings ahead of time. Simple things as dentist visits and cleaning and out of pocket costs. Covering them with money out of pocket without really thinking/fearing where it will come from. He provides by moments of listening to setting it aside for your non-emergency section and months ago you had no idea why you would set it there.

God knew.

He always does.

His little smile to me today when my husband and I could say yes like we never ever have been able to before assured me that as long we keep walking as he asks us to every need is always going to be covered. Even when we least expect it. It gave me even more smirk and eyes narrowed in on flinging Satan out of the arena and standing victorious with God at the end of this test asking Satan yet again...

Remember Job? ....

Now.... Remember US too!

God was with Job and he is with us.

Now, our lives are no where near as "drastic" as Job but through it all Job stood firm and God is reminding us to stand as firm as Job. He did it. God equipped him. He will equip us. He will fill our cups to overflowing and restore our souls.

A couple weeks ago we had the privilege of attending the Rock & Worship Roadshow. One of the opening acts is a new rising Christian Artist that I seriously can not get enough of! I truly think God has us there to get their CD and to hear them live. To refill our souls but to bring that CD home because there is one song on there that I simply can not stop hitting repeat on. It's not one on the radio and it was not played at the concert. However, looking out that rain stained window a couple days ago this song was playing as God breathed his words onto me. It's words were exactly what my heart was crying out and I love how he blessed me with his reminders!!

I simply love this song and what it does to my soul. How it awakes me. How it raises my head and brings tears of living water to my eyes.

I'm remembering Job. I am remembering us, and I am remembering all of God's faithfulness and singing AMEN!


I Am They: Amen

 

I have no words to say
Don’t know what I should pray
God, I need You
God, I need You
Oh Lord, my faith is tired
And tears fill up my eyes
But I will trust You, I will trust You

Whatever comes my way
You have taught me to say

Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
Amen, we’re singing Amen

When I can barely stand
You strengthen me again
I will seek You, I will seek You
Though troubles may arise
My hands reach to the skies
I will praise You, I will praise You

Whatever comes my way
You have taught me to say

Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
Amen, we’re singing Amen
We’re singing Amen

From everlasting to everlasting
From everlasting to everlasting
From everlasting to everlasting
From everlasting to everlasting
Amen

Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
Amen, we’re singing Amen
We’re singing Amen

The whole truth & nothing but the truth?

I've been replaying a lot in my head lately and this morning God struck me with something I was taught last year. First, it was from my then women's group teachings and then by my mentor while processing a situation with her. Then God brought it up to me while I was trying to process through a change last summer. This morning he hit it to me again.

"When asking for godly counsel in your life are you forming the bits of details in such a way that you are leading them to answer in the manner you are looking for the answers OR are you giving all the full details in full disclosure no matter how the advice falls? Even if it means disappointment and not the path you were desperately hoping for?"

Does that even make sense?
It does in my head from the countless conversations and prayers of not wanting to present anything in a way to sway the conversation "my way" vs "God's way."
I hope it was clear.

Back when I was leading a women's study table he asked me to be on guard to be able to discern when problems were being presented to me on if the information was being presented in a swaying fashion.

Then last summer he asked me to be aware that I am not presenting information in a swaying manner.

This morning he asked me to again be on guard for possible swaying information. He asked me to seek discernment when receiving information and even more discernment in responding.

It sounds so much easier said than done I assure you. You think there are times you are being mindful and yet the screeching red lights flash and tell you to hold on to what you speak and hear and compute. I don't also stop, drop, and pray every time. I need to, and with God's little reminder this morning I felt he is warning to me be extra on guard and more mindful of what I am hearing coming in and what I am sending out.

I only want to his voice in moments where others may seek counsel, even when it's uncomfortable... but his voice always. This verse came to mind and I think I will be taping this up where I will see it easily to remember to seek discernment in every situation and conversation. Keeping his will and heart at the forefront when hearing and speaking in daily life.

What verses, if any, or ways does God share with you to be on guard in your conversations whether hearing or speaking? I'd love to hear.

Sometimes you need to humble yourself...

Today was so hard. As you may have read from today's earlier post. I had to humble myself and look my kids in the eyes and tell them, I WAS SORRY AND AT FAULT. 

I know not the norm for a parent to do. I can't remember many time I ever heard my parents tell me that growing up but I want to change our legacy and humbling myself at their feet and apologize. I had to look at my daughter and tell her I'm sorry I said what I did out of my own defaults of "hurt you before you can hurt me.", and that when she defaults to the same thing it only kills me more because I know I have shown that example. 

No one tells you how hard parenting will be growing up. You grow up looking at your parents like they have it all together. Did my parents cry at night over "guilt" of the day before's actions? I do. All the mistakes and mishaps. 

Lord have mercy. 

I had to tell them how wrong I was and even though we were all equally at fault I was the worst example of all and that my heart screams for difference. It's such a humbling experience to witness (on more than one occassion). It never gets easier. If anything I'm thinking it gets harder. While I was snuggling with them for campout night I was reminded that God's mercies are new EVERY morning and that tomorrow will again be Day 1 at working to "get it right." Whatever that looks like being human in a sinful world and all. 

As much as I know their tearstained faces have forgiven me, and I them.... our hearts are raw and praying for difference to our day(s). I wish we could all truly erase the words and actions. That they simply didn't exsist in our hearts anymore to sneak up and try to trip us up when Satan wants us to stumble again. Thankfully days like today have been few in far between in the last couple years; they hurt just the same. I need to face tomorrow with all the newness each morning brings. I need to be the example of God and how he throws our forgiven sins to the deepest depths of the ocean marked with a sign saying, "back away... nothing to see or remember here. No grabbing allowed."

I just pray their little hearts can view me the same way. 

He is blessing us despite ourselves

God ever been blessed despite yourself?

God is blowing my mind and faith right now in only a way he can. We royally messed up last weekend. Bad. We didn't trust God to provide something and we took it upon ourselves to decide a way. I mentioned some of it here. In the days since then God has blessed us in the form of 2 dear friends. One even though she knew about the other.

I am so blown away by God.

I am blown way by how even though we asked for forgiveness and we know that we have been forgiven God is still providing ways for us to make up for our mistake and then some. I don't understand why? We don't deserve it.

It's just hitting me... This is a prime example of God giving us his Son to die for our sins. We have blown it. Yet even though we have asked for forgiveness he sent Jesus to insure we were covered 110%. Our debt is paid and we are forgiven, and we have the glorious life abundantly because of it.

He saved us despite ourselves. Spiritually and for us in this moment... literally. We don't deserve what he is doing right now. We are so grateful and were so grateful for the lesson. For the growth. For the forgiveness. How to wrap our heads around it all? Even though we totally disobeyed and had so little to give like we should have had he is still blessing us.

Why am I sharing this? Because even though I've always known it and times in my life felt it, it's hitting harder again... God loves us no matter what we have done. No matter how we have disobeyed him... he forgives... he blesses... he loves! All of it. He cares about your heart and where the lesson brings you. Growing your faith. He will always do everything to show you he is still here for you no matter what you think.

I felt the whole time we have ruined everything. That what we did was unforgivable and irreversible. God has gone above and beyond to show me that isn't the case and that he still loves us. That his mercies are new everyday and that he is still and always will be right here with us. Leading the way of his will.

Lord, 

Thank you so much for your blessings even though we don't deserve them. The lesson, growth, humility, faith, and love you are teaching this heart of mine is something deeper than I ever imagined. Lord, I am so sorry for what we did. For disobeying you. I know you have forgiven us yet Lord you still set out to bless us. Above and beyond what we messed up. Lord, I don't fully understand why but I am grateful. You are amazing. You will forever be praised. Please Lord I ask please bless those who you have used to bless us 10 fold for their faithfulness to listen to you. I am overwhelmed, Lord. Thank you. From the wholeness of our hearts. Thank you. I feel we aren't worthy but even as I type those words I hear your voice reminding me I am an heir in your Kingdom. Thank you, Lord!

 In your most precious matchless name, Amen. 

Prayer {Scripture and a Snapshot}

Praying.

Pinpoint prayers.

Asking mountains to move.

That about sums up all that is moving through our family's prayer life lately. The continued lesson of patience and provision. Trust and God's timing. His will playing out.

He hears us. He will answer. The mountains will move.

Slow to Speak {Scripture and a Snapshot}

Today is day one of the new Hello Mornings Bible Study and I have to be honest I wanted to sleep in this morning. I didn't but I wanted to.

This weekend actually flew by less stressful than we expected. Thank you, Lord for your provisions! So to check in from Friday... Sick child = the doctor saying it could just be allergies. I don't really see anything wrong with him. YAY! Better safe than sorry. Birthday Parties = we only went to one of them. Huge church meeting = God is doing AMAZING things!!! Can not wait to be apart of them!

Life = refreshing.

Honestly, last night driving to small group there was an essence of bliss around it. We were rushing to get there but just the whole day as a whole felt blissful. We left margin in our day and life felt right all the way around. We are chalking it up to our listening to God revealing where we belong. Him revealing our "Promise Land" and  our perspective to embrace the season we are in. Oh how freeing it is. How enough He is!

Today's Hello Mornings passage is about Peter. The passage was where Peter tells Jesus that no matter what in life he will always stand by him, and Jesus tells him "No, you will deny me 3x." I thought about how real Peter was. So confident and ready to spit out words that are hollow and just what he felt he should say. Even though his words were real and genuine he didn't have the strength to back them up. He was human. Even as a disciple he was human. I thought it was a perfect example for us that no matter where you are at with your walk with Christ, you are human. We talk bigger than we have strength for and feel so confident with all we think is coming for us we don't seek Christ for strength to make sure we are armed for what he has told us is coming.

"We got this, Lord."

"Watch how awesome I handle this."

"You are so wrong. I would never do that!"

Hello test... Hello big mouth and hollow words.

We let our self-confidence (when not backed up and armed for battle) fail us every time. I do! We think we have it all figured out and ready for all the Lord is warning us is coming and we listen half-heartily because we have it all figured out.

Even as one of Jesus' right hand men messed up like I do daily! I find comfort in that. I need to be slow to speak and I need to listen and prepare my heart for what the Lord tells me is coming up. Or not coming up for that matter. I need to be seeking him daily, falling at feet saying I don't have an ounce of this without your help. I don't want to be denying him at any moment and I want to be guarded against times like Peter faced so when the time comes I can stand tall and ready.

Thankful to know that when I do fall exactly how God says I will due to my self arrogance he will forgive me when I come crying back to him asking forgiveness and help. Just like he forgave Peter.

I want to be slow to speak and to make sure I have sought the Lord in all I open my mouth to say. To make sure I am in saying words in ignorance.

I am an Israelite... {Scripture and a Snapshot}

I am an Israelite.

I have wondered around and around after to cross the Jordan into the Promise Land because I assume I know the outcome.

I have romanticized my past because I know what has happened. I became accustom to what daily life was and I knew what to expect. I knew how to safe guard from harmful things. I, in turn, wasn't overwhelmed with life.

Overwhelmed.

That is all we have been since we moved. Completely and utterly... Overwhelmed.

Right now in church, we are a series written just for me. For us. Every Sunday for the past 3 weeks we have walked in amped for the message and have left with the 2x4 of God's reality and Word to the head. It's been so exhilarating to hear him move and direct in the ways that he has. The answers to the road we are on becoming more and more evident. The peace that is flooding over us with each passing day of seeking him and listening for his Word... amazing.

He is moving. He is providing and he leading us to our destined Promise Land.

Yesterday's message was about Overwhelmed by Tomorrow. Always being overwhelmed with what tomorrow has and what it could... COULD... hold. Our Pastor talked about how we could be so wrapped up in thinking we already know what could be coming because of our pasts that we retreat because we assume the same bad could happen again.

"No, God I already trusted this person or tried that door... this one looks the same... rejection happened before... nope I'm not going to open it... I'm not going to trust them again... I want to go back to before..." etc. 

The Israelites saw the potential hard times ahead in the Promise Land (Numbers 13:31-33). The people were big. Times looked like trouble so instead of crossing the Jordan to where God lead them and promised prosperity they wanted to retreat. Head back to Egypt where they thought life was good. They chose to forget what they actually had left behind.

I have done that very same thing. 

That is a reservation my husband has had lately regarding an area of our lives right now too. He was hit with Isaiah 43:18-19 yesterday.

This verse hits home for a number of reasons (it has hit home in the past but now in a whole new marvelous light! I love that about God's Word!). Our Pastor said that one way to stop feeling overwhelmed with tomorrow is to let go of our past. While, I have let go of my past in the sense that first comes to mind, he was meaning more in the sense of romanticizing about it. Building it up to what it wasn't. He said when we feel overwhelmed with tomorrow... the here and now season of our lives... and are longing to go back to our Egypt it's because we are missing a time. Not so much missing the place itself but a time.

A time.

That singular fact was a huge light bulb moment for us.

A time when we had it all figured out. We knew what to expect and felt at peace.

That couldn't be more true for us right now! That is exactly what we have been describing to each other about what we miss. What we want to go back to. Go back for.

We aren't longing so much to go back home because of its location (while we do miss the mountains and trees and such), we are missing that time in our lives. How life used to be daily. Not feeling overwhelmed. The complete opposite of what life has been... here. Here though we are standing on the other side of the Jordan. We took the steps into the unknown but we want to retreat from God's direction because it's uncomfortable.

We need to allow God to make the memories here. To create all he has planned and stop creating the overwhelming feeling to ourselves. We are only seeing this life right now with our human eyes. The physical and we aren't perceiving God's perspective of this season he has lead us into. What a life changer that viewpoint would bring.

We have walked into this new season with so much stress of all that has gone on. We have felt hit from every direction and felt like we were in a tail spin. I was hit with something else yesterday...

Really???

God is not going to go through all he has to provide for us every step until now to what have us fail now that we are here? To have us retreat back to comfortable!? No way! He is leading us into the Promise Land and we need to stop romanticizing our past. We need to stop forgetting all the troubles we had before and how he delivered us from them. We need to enjoy stepping into this unknown and be blessed like he wants us to be.

He provided manna everyday when the dew settle. I need to remember that!

He wanted us to jump in and cross the river. We did and now that we are here we need to enjoy the season we are in and make sure we are creating margin in our lives along the way. I realize this is pretty repetitive from the other day but to me it feels like more of his promises were given to us to solidify... clarify... we are now home. In this season and time. He revealed to us in the context in which our hearts were longing to go back home. So much understanding and peace was made to all of this yesterday. All the conversations my husband and I have had about should we? Will we? What's the plan? Are becoming more and more clear.

We loved the idea of jumping into this unknown land we were lead to but we have stopped ourselves from fully enjoying our Promise Land because of our fear and placing overwhelmed on ourselves. We will no longer be doing that.

My faith in the Father is way better than my fear of the unknown.

I need to stop trying to balance everything. It doesn't exist. I need to go through this day... tomorrow... the rest of the steps in this Promise Land in kairos. God's time. I need to stop trying to do it all in our time. Our assumptions. We are only bring OVERWHELMED upon ourselves.

God's talking...

We are listening...

And feeling a ton less overwhelmed with tomorrow. So thankful for where we are at and this beautiful 2x4 that came swinging out of nowhere yesterday. I think our Pastor has our house bugged. He knew exactly how to speak to our recent thoughts and prayers precisely. I am thankful that God spoke to his heart on what to preach about and the he graciously listened.

We're listening... {Scripture and a Snapshot}

Anyone who knows me or has caught the hints thrown around on here knows I'm homesick.

Like bad.

If we felt God in a decision, leading to an option to go home... we would. In a heartbeat.

However, we have also been feverishly praying about what to do about where we are at right now. Our current location let alone living situation. What do we do!? Do we save to move? Do we look to buy? Do we stay here? Oh the scenarios seem endless and honestly overwhelming.

This last week though God spoke. He spoke in a way that was "ahh really?" but at the very same time it was refreshing.

Talk about a glorious smack in the face. See, we have been discussing our living situation with idea of "well, how long are we going to live here, and when do you think we will move back?" God has since put a stop to that topic. We have kept the "If it is the Lord's will" part ever present and know that He could decide to move us back, but for right here and now that doesn't seem to be in the cards.  

We just need to stop trying to figure that part out ourselves like we have been doing. 

He has laid it upon our hearts we may be here for a while. Time unknown. My heart is working on that concept at the same time it has peace. Peace because I know we aren't in the drivers seat anymore. We are walking options he has laid on our hearts and we know he will reveal the final destination in his time. We know how quickly and slowly he can work. We know firsthand how mind blowing both can be. 

So, I enter a new frame of mind and peace today. Acceptance and excitement. 

God is working for us. He has a plan and we have stepped back and are not taking any steps without his say so. Again. Because we have seemed to have forgotten that and have been trying to decide our future ourselves. Using "If it is the Lord's will" in the wrong context. No longer will that be the case. We are empty and ready for him to fill with his will. Seeking and listening. 

As much as that verse above hurt to read and soak in last week I am so grateful for the place it has brought me to. I am so grateful for its ever present perfect timing in my life. The turmoil inside me the days before were horrible. The amazing peace now... no words exist. 

God's will and peace... We are listening... Perfection.

Another fantastic reminder came through today... God ROCKS!!! So faithful in his reminders. 

 "I will instruct you and teach in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

Striving for Eager Hands

I just finished week 3 day 2 of the Bible Studies I mentioned two weeks. Today was about all the things love is and isn't. What it does and does not do. As well as how to be a Proverbs 31 woman who is eager.

Eager.

That is a hard word for me in the mundane of my day to day. I feel it's daunting sometimes. Overwhelming even.

What smacked me hard this morning was the 2nd verse of the day highlighted in the Good Morning Girls Proverbs study. Colossians 3:23. Not only just the words of this verse alone but the fact God keeps bringing it up to me. See, last year I felt God leading me to have this verse to be a staple for our homeschool. A staple in which when the days got hard and tears or attitudes met our schedules this was the verse to bring us the reality check. What God keeps reminding me of though is that I am not just to be the voice of reason, if you will, to my children during the days work but that he wants me to LIVE BY EXAMPLE. To have this verse smack me when MY attitude gets out of line over what the Lord has placed in my day. To vocally stop and say it to myself... "Who am I doing this for?"

Yes, the housework and mundane tasks that sometime stay at home moms feel plagued with are just that... mundane, but I know that when I stop and ask myself that question the task doesn't seem so bad.

I have been called to be a stay at home mom/wife. I have been called to homeschool. I have been called to be the keeper of missing socks and folded underwear. I lose sight of that sometimes and instead of eager hands for the task in which I have been called my hands become idle. They beg for someone else to pick up the load and take over. That isn't what God called of me though. I have noticed first hand that when my heart and mind are aligned with Him on the task at hand it actually moves quite quickly and not slow or painstaking as first thought.

I am resolving to not only be more in the mindset of who I am doing the work for, (yes, my family reaps the benefits of what God has called me to do, but I am not doing it for "man" but for God. I am serving my family with the servant's heart God has commanded me to have.) but to also be more vocal with reminding myself of the verse. To what I have been called to do.

Following Him and Serving Them.

My children... my family... need to hear and see me putting it into action and not just speaking it over them when their days are tough. If I can get a hold of this I think it's going to change my household.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23

Refreshed with God

So I have felt a pull lately through all this chaos to stifle Satan and his attempts to ruin peace and to see things closer to God. To dig into his Word more and get back to seeking him daily... deeper, personal, fuller. Back to when we were seeking direction and to not lose sight of his faithfulness now that we are here. I know that now we are here we need to seek him even more than before to hear his direction and why. His path and plan for us to disciple here.

If you are on Twitter at all and follow any handful of women you have probably seen the hashtags #hellomornings and #goodmorninggirls. I know I have. I have known about Good Morning Girls and had even printed off a study once, but sadly never got very far. I have to admit though Hello Mornings I knew nothing about.

I thought secret society I wish I had the "in" on. Shameful but true.

So yesterday I felt I needed to search it out. What is this Hello Mornings all about anyway? To my pleasant surprised it's a Bible study (which I had gathered via tweets), but what excited me was that a new session was starting... THAT day!! There was still time to join. I bookmarked it and said I'll come back to see what all the details are and register.

Satan really didn't want me to join... well, I have news for him... HAHAHA God won! It took all day and it wasn't until the kids were in bed that I did it, but I registered and that was all that mattered! I fought the urge of wanting to go back to sleep this morning after my husband left for work.

(Buying great new pillows doesn't help that urge by the way.)

And I went through 3 (2 via Hello Mornings and Proverbs 31 via Good Morning Girls) studies this morning. It felt FANTASTIC!!!

Just God, My Bible, The studies, coffee, and the glow of my computer screen.

Pure.Bliss.

I did Day 1 and 2 of all the studies today, as I missed doing Day 1 yesterday morning. It was great. I feel so refreshed and ready to tackle the day. My priorities in sync with God's and it's going to be a great day.

I love how it plays into the pulling on my heart that the Lord has been doing lately. So much seeing and listening he wants me to do. Gratefulness and thankfulness to be had. He has been pulling on my heart to get back into Snapshot and a Scripture as well.

The sight he brought my eyes through his creation and the Scripture he brought me to each week is one I reflect on all the time. I miss it. The fact I feel less inspired here is one reason I feel he is saying get back to it so hard. He wants me to see his beauty here too. To seek his Word for his words for the pictures again. So I'm going to be linking back up with Scripture and A Snapshot. I also though will be linking up with Brooke's One Beautiful Thing. With seeing the beauty and blessing God has been hitting me hard to count them as well. I have picked up the One Thousand Gifts book who knows how many times and I own it! But I haven't read it. Sad I know. I WILL READ IT SOON THOUGH!! :( I have felt huge tugs though to count. So that is exactly what I am going to do.

I am going to be more mindful of all the good and small everyday around me. All God is saying and leading to. All he is in control of and stop fretting over the details of how, when, or any other "me in control" word you can think of. 


I will be inspired here.

I will walk closer to God daily.

He will be how I start my day and end my day. Everything in between. I will rest and have peace he has control over our finances and future. Satan does not have a hold and will no longer win out here. God wrote out all these days before any came to be. I will be better at seeking and hearing him daily.

Starting my day with him. Satan will say "Oh man she's up!"

So my first gift...
#1 : God himself and his heart to want me so badly. 

God is working over here. In my heart, my family, my husband... everything. We feel him and sense his presence. It's stronger than it's ever been and we are so amped to see what he is working on. Seeking him daily and starting my day. I look forward to this journey God has me on and all he is going to reveal to me. Today in Day 1 and 2 of Good Morning Girls study of Proverbs 31 God laid on my heart to LISTEN and be VIGILANT to all around me.

I resolve to do just that!!!


Has God been pulling on your heartstrings about anything lately? I'd love it if you shared or joined the journey with me!

Praising In This Storm

What a week...

I am so glad it's Friday.

This week has been one upside down mess after another. Drama and a lost game. Everything off its normal schedule.

A complete mess.

Drama, messes, and I don't mix well. I don't remember lots of drama in my life until we moved. I miss care free and drama free days. It's so much easier on everyone. To say it's all taken a toll on everyone here would be an understatement. We are weary and in desperate need of a break.

Satan has definitely been winning, to say the least, this week. Nerves are fried. Relationships broken. End of the ropes way past holding onto points. Throw in an awful losing game last night and yeah... Thank God it's Friday!

Last night's game... not pretty. So now we have our next game(s) Saturday. Saturday could be one looooooonnnnnnggggg day. It'll all be good but still. We are all still adjusting to the heat and frankly totally not looking forward to a long hot day at the ballpark.

In the next few days lots of change at work as well. Souls are weary there with anticipation of just wanting it over already. Not their jobs just the build up to the "new" that has been talked about since December. Let's just say God has flipped everything in our lives over so much in the last 5 months it's been a crazy ride.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

I am so thankful that through this all God has brought peace this morning of "Don't worry about what was lost. I have a reason it's like this now. Your weary soul will find rest in me. I am working out my plan for you." I love his faithfulness like that.

Comfort and Peace.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I don't know why God has allowed this week to play out the way it has for us. We are broken, a no better than anyone else people like everyone else. There is a path God is paving right now. Confusing as it may be I am thankful I get to walk his steps to wherever he is leading.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

So, as this crazy week draws to a close I am resting in Christ. I have given every inch of this week to him and know that he is moving and working. Moving and working in ways that I don't understand but that's OK I don't need to understand.

I don't want to understand.

He has his reasons and frankly that is enough for me.

A Wise Man {Scripture and A Snapshot}

God is leading my husband right now.

I can't wait to see where he is leading him. In 2 days God is leading us to a huge step we have never ever done before. Only he knows the outcome and only he knows the details of what he is leading my husband into.

HIS WILL BE DONE. May we be wise and lead to great counsel.

I will stand my watch {Scripture and a Snapshot}

Oh it feels so good to be taking part in Scripture and a Snapshot again. It's been WAY too long.

I think this week this verse really speaks volumes to where we are right now in our current journey.

{Feel free to click to enlarge if needed.}

God will send HIS answer in HIS time. I know this. Until then... here I will be... listening and watching for HIM.

(I am linking up with Katie Lloyd and her Scripture and a Snapshot meme. Go check out other great verses!! You will be blessed!)

Abide {Scripture and a Snapshot}

As I sat in church 2 days ago my mind started to drift to the Scripture and a Snapshot meme that I have missed participating in so much. About the same nano second I started to think "what picture should I use and what verse should I pair with it?" a picture came to mind.

It's a picture I took recently which lead to the thought of a similar picture I took last summer. The words support, and pillar of strength came to mind. I tried looking in my concordance for a scripture to jump out at me that would fit these words and said picture or pictures. No such thing happened. As I continue to think about these randomly tonight it's dawned on me that this picture is exactly what God wants me to use but he wants me to research and dig deeper with him to find the key verse he wants me to use. That he wants me to hear something.

So digging... seeking...listening... is exactly what I am going to do. The thing is... I am writing this before I seek. Why you ask? Because I feel a strong pull that he wants me to log the process. So that is what I am doing. Logging the steps in the script for this point in my life that he is leading me to discover.

So where am I going to start?

Well, first of course I am going to grab my Bible and then I am going to open tabs here in my browser for Blue Letter Bible, Biblegateway, and Youversion. Some of my favorite haunts and always accessible apps I have on my phone when searching His Word.

WARNING:
*Slight Detour Ahead*

Ummm while browsing for the photos mentioned above I came across the photo below. One word came to mind when I saw this picture.

CLING

This single word is one the Lord has been throwing my way a lot lately. Cling to ME he says. Cling to Me. Over and over all day long. Maybe this single lesson alone is what he has been trying to tell me through the round-about thought process with the thoughts of the above mentioned pictures and words?????

All those words do go hand in hand, don't you think?

Support
Pillar of Strength
Cling

They all point to the solitary source of strength and support in your life if you/we just cling to him. That is what he wants us to do. Cling to him. Run to him. Sit still with him.

Upon searching "Cling" in all the sources above I haven't found a single verse that seems to fit the pull on my heart right now from God. So to the Thesaurus I go.... Hi-ho-hi-ho...

*insert ticking minutes sound... tick, tick, tick, while searching resumes*

Eureka!

ABIDE 

I have no idea why that didn't strike me before but it just did. Just a common verse for some. It is for me but sadly not one that came to heart right away. As you can see read. This verse right now...This is exactly what he is wanting me to keep close to heart and to call back on every minute.

By doing so it will be my SUPPORT. He will be my constant PILLAR OF STRENGTH. It will allow me to CLING to him daily and by doing all of this I will "ABIDE in him and he with me."

I do realize however this picture has nothing to do with branches, but this is the picture that came to mind for this verse. Please forgive the fact it doesn't coincide very well. {Feel free to click the picture to see it larger. It's ok I'll wait.}

Thank you so much for taking this scripture search journey with me. With the Lord. We both are very appreciative.

Do you have a verse the Lord is placing heavy on your heart? Maybe you have a Snapshot you'd like to share with it? Link up here... I'd love to share in the Word with you.

{Also linking up with}

and linking up with Courtney's WLW Wednesday Link Up Party and Seeds of Faith iFellowship