I am an Israelite... {Scripture and a Snapshot}

I am an Israelite.

I have wondered around and around after to cross the Jordan into the Promise Land because I assume I know the outcome.

I have romanticized my past because I know what has happened. I became accustom to what daily life was and I knew what to expect. I knew how to safe guard from harmful things. I, in turn, wasn't overwhelmed with life.

Overwhelmed.

That is all we have been since we moved. Completely and utterly... Overwhelmed.

Right now in church, we are a series written just for me. For us. Every Sunday for the past 3 weeks we have walked in amped for the message and have left with the 2x4 of God's reality and Word to the head. It's been so exhilarating to hear him move and direct in the ways that he has. The answers to the road we are on becoming more and more evident. The peace that is flooding over us with each passing day of seeking him and listening for his Word... amazing.

He is moving. He is providing and he leading us to our destined Promise Land.

Yesterday's message was about Overwhelmed by Tomorrow. Always being overwhelmed with what tomorrow has and what it could... COULD... hold. Our Pastor talked about how we could be so wrapped up in thinking we already know what could be coming because of our pasts that we retreat because we assume the same bad could happen again.

"No, God I already trusted this person or tried that door... this one looks the same... rejection happened before... nope I'm not going to open it... I'm not going to trust them again... I want to go back to before..." etc. 

The Israelites saw the potential hard times ahead in the Promise Land (Numbers 13:31-33). The people were big. Times looked like trouble so instead of crossing the Jordan to where God lead them and promised prosperity they wanted to retreat. Head back to Egypt where they thought life was good. They chose to forget what they actually had left behind.

I have done that very same thing. 

That is a reservation my husband has had lately regarding an area of our lives right now too. He was hit with Isaiah 43:18-19 yesterday.

This verse hits home for a number of reasons (it has hit home in the past but now in a whole new marvelous light! I love that about God's Word!). Our Pastor said that one way to stop feeling overwhelmed with tomorrow is to let go of our past. While, I have let go of my past in the sense that first comes to mind, he was meaning more in the sense of romanticizing about it. Building it up to what it wasn't. He said when we feel overwhelmed with tomorrow... the here and now season of our lives... and are longing to go back to our Egypt it's because we are missing a time. Not so much missing the place itself but a time.

A time.

That singular fact was a huge light bulb moment for us.

A time when we had it all figured out. We knew what to expect and felt at peace.

That couldn't be more true for us right now! That is exactly what we have been describing to each other about what we miss. What we want to go back to. Go back for.

We aren't longing so much to go back home because of its location (while we do miss the mountains and trees and such), we are missing that time in our lives. How life used to be daily. Not feeling overwhelmed. The complete opposite of what life has been... here. Here though we are standing on the other side of the Jordan. We took the steps into the unknown but we want to retreat from God's direction because it's uncomfortable.

We need to allow God to make the memories here. To create all he has planned and stop creating the overwhelming feeling to ourselves. We are only seeing this life right now with our human eyes. The physical and we aren't perceiving God's perspective of this season he has lead us into. What a life changer that viewpoint would bring.

We have walked into this new season with so much stress of all that has gone on. We have felt hit from every direction and felt like we were in a tail spin. I was hit with something else yesterday...

Really???

God is not going to go through all he has to provide for us every step until now to what have us fail now that we are here? To have us retreat back to comfortable!? No way! He is leading us into the Promise Land and we need to stop romanticizing our past. We need to stop forgetting all the troubles we had before and how he delivered us from them. We need to enjoy stepping into this unknown and be blessed like he wants us to be.

He provided manna everyday when the dew settle. I need to remember that!

He wanted us to jump in and cross the river. We did and now that we are here we need to enjoy the season we are in and make sure we are creating margin in our lives along the way. I realize this is pretty repetitive from the other day but to me it feels like more of his promises were given to us to solidify... clarify... we are now home. In this season and time. He revealed to us in the context in which our hearts were longing to go back home. So much understanding and peace was made to all of this yesterday. All the conversations my husband and I have had about should we? Will we? What's the plan? Are becoming more and more clear.

We loved the idea of jumping into this unknown land we were lead to but we have stopped ourselves from fully enjoying our Promise Land because of our fear and placing overwhelmed on ourselves. We will no longer be doing that.

My faith in the Father is way better than my fear of the unknown.

I need to stop trying to balance everything. It doesn't exist. I need to go through this day... tomorrow... the rest of the steps in this Promise Land in kairos. God's time. I need to stop trying to do it all in our time. Our assumptions. We are only bring OVERWHELMED upon ourselves.

God's talking...

We are listening...

And feeling a ton less overwhelmed with tomorrow. So thankful for where we are at and this beautiful 2x4 that came swinging out of nowhere yesterday. I think our Pastor has our house bugged. He knew exactly how to speak to our recent thoughts and prayers precisely. I am thankful that God spoke to his heart on what to preach about and the he graciously listened.