Farewell Google Reader

As pretty much everyone knows Google Reader leaves in a matter of a few short days. I have slowly been making the switch to a new reader but haven't made up my mind yet on which one to use.

Have you?

I have Feedly and Bloglovin' set up.

Do you prefer one vs the other? I'd love to know your pros and cons.

I will be redoing the whole layout of Scripted here very soon but until I can get my bloglovin' link up you can follow me HERE if you would like. I'd love if you would. :)

What is your favorite way to keep up with the blogs and sites you follow? Email or a reader?

Inquiring minds would love to know. :)

Still here... Just been busy.

Oh what has happened to this little space of mine this summer? The complete opposite of what I was planning that is for sure. We've been so busy this summer gearing up for the new school year and activities it hasn't been funny. I really have no clue where the time has gone at all. I think all in all it's been a pretty good summer though.

We haven't gone anywhere. We haven't done any type of vacation anything, but I think all in all we have still done things that have made it enjoyable. Hoping to get to a vacation at some point, but I'll take what I can get. School starts in 2 weeks for us though so it may have to wait until we have our first school break to happen. We definitely will be looking into more day trips as well to go explore as well.

I have our new curriculum post in the works. I hope to have that up in a couple days. :) Another crazyyyy busy weekend planned over here. It's going to be filled with fun and exciting time with friends so we can't wait!

We're feeling like this gorgeous flower. Our cups open wide to all that God keeps pouring into us. Can't wait for all he will be filling us up with this weekend. :)

Back to Reality...

The last week has great. Totally able to ignore reality and just... be. It hasn't been without it's heart/faith lessons. I'm thankful that God chose this week for my husband to be home so when I feel weak he was there to build me back up and to reassure what my heart is in the right place. I love that he is my rock like that. Every time I write to God in my journal or post what God is teaching me Satan sees it and attacks harder. Seeing how tough and faithful I really am.

Can't wait to defeat him!

I'm so sad that today is Monday and reality and real work starts back up. We don't want Daddy to go back to work.

Last week I started working on our monthly meal plan. I am hoping this will help those trips that I haven't gotten to making a list and we have to hit the store. It will at least then give us a guideline to buy to make meals. I will post them on here. Hopefully before the end of the month to help keep me accountable too, and help give ideas to you if you are needing some. *wink*

Here is our January meal list. (I'd have put it up here as a PDF but every way I tried it didn't work. So here it is a PNG file instead. sorry) This month our Small Group starts back up and dinner/appetizer is available. So I'm not planning a big dinner to make at home. Just keeping it a simple meal. :) (I can't figure out how to link the meals in the pdf let alone the png now... so if you are interested in seeing the recipes for any of the mentioned meals just email me and I'd be happy to get them for you.) :)

School went well today considering it's been a little to no school work environment for the last month. It was nice to get back into the swing of things but I definitely need to work on our schedule more. I'm excited too that we are adding a new Science to our school year. Our Geology study was not working for us so we went back to Apologia like our daughter had asked for at the beginning of the year. Gotta love the faithful deeply loved curriculum. :) Swimming Creatures here we come! :) We may come back to the geology study at some point but right now we are going to enjoy switching back to Apologia. 

Have you made any mid-school year changes as well? 

I am also working on writing up a reading study to do for the book Sounder. I'm really excited about it and I think it's going to turn out a lot of fun for my 4th grader. :) What else is new... Oh yes my Bill Binder. Still working on that post. Must find time to sit and finish it but it's currently time to go get dinner started so I guess I better get going.

I'm excited for this new year.
This new season.
Just this moment in time.
Just grateful.

I will not long for something different

I feel it coming.

The weighed down feeling of a crazy busy weekend that seems to keep getting more and more piled on to it. Where is the margin in this weekend? It's needed and right now I can't see it.

*A possible trip to the doctor's office for a sick child.
*A HUGE church meeting we can not miss!
*Grocery shopping... it's dire!
*Just scheduled first softball practice for tomorrow morning
*Church service and serve a service
*2 birthday parties
*Church Small Group we can't miss cause we are in charge of bringing dinner

There has to be something else I am missing here. Oh yes... getting everything together for next week's lessons and school period today.

Lord, I need your help! I know you aren't giving me more than I can handle right, but instead of looking forward to the weekend and a day of rest, I feel like everything is spirally crazy into too busy. With so many other things weighing down on me right now too about all you are working on for our future, help me not to lose focus and stop me from trying to take over. I know what you are teaching me here and I promise not to be longing for a past time or place. You are in control and have it all planned out. I have peace in that. I don't need to stress about a thing. Repeat those words to my heart as I get up to tackle the rest that today has to offer. "You will provide a way." in all the areas you know are facing our family right now. 

Thank you Lord for your provisions and help. 

Sincerely,
Your crazy child who is trying not to lose control by taking over the steering wheel. 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23  

Failed... yet again.

That is all it feels like I am doing lately. I by no means am Job and the strength that man possessed in all those trials is inspiring. The day is still young and a chance for redemption still available but is it too early to ask God for it to be new day again?

Life stinks right now.

Maybe the stink mood has to do with all the late nights and pushing of meds to the sick kiddos that yet again have plagued my house. Maybe it's the longing we all have to have fun again like we used to.

Maybe...

Maybe...

Maybe...

Anyone else have the whole Marsha, Marsha, Martha saying run through their head like I did right now?
Either way I am failing big time. Failing at home with short fuses, failing with my husband because seriously we have barely had time to talk to each other between doctor visits for the kids, school, work, church, and practices. Failing with God cause yeah... no quiet time here. Failing with myself and not scheduling any time for me. Yep all around fail.

As I was just writing the above sentences a verse from Facing the Giants has come to come. The sad thing is as comforting as this verse can be don't you think telling a friend "praying isn't going to help." is denying his name... see again... fail.  Batting a thousand over here huh?

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Revelations 3:8

Batting a thousand over here huh? 

The aroma of my heart right now is not pretty. It's not where it needs to be and I know that. It's in a spot that even though I know deep down how to get out of it I don't know how to get out of it. lol Total contradiction I know but that's the rut I'm in. 

I need to change the aroma of my heart... Right now that doesn't feel easy at all with all the lousy hands we've been dealt lately. A freezer that won't freeze, an overly whiny 2 year old that is making it very difficult to accomplish a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. for the last week, a new round of meds and a new 10 day period since the other meds weren't working, an entire house that doesn't feel well, the 8th and 9th service calls to fix things in a place we have been in only 4 1/2 months. I miss our old drafty place a lot right now. Even the smaller space. 

Ruts stink. 

The are faith building and I guess God is working on the junk in my heart because right now I feel of very little faith. *frown* 

Longing

Today I am longing.

Longing for many things... Largely longing for home.

Friends, smiles, and hugs.

Home.

Texts with friends of new things happening in our lives and feeling such a void because they aren't there to share in the moments with us. They are supposed to! 

Moving stinks!!

Yes, I said it. I know God had his hand in this big time but this hurts. Those friends are supposed to be there with us in these moments.

The void is big.

Sorry it's not a cheery post today. Just being real.

Today I'm sad.

Today I want to turn back the clocks and be back home laughing and making memories with them. I want to see my kids with their best friends. This isn't fair. We didn't have enough time with them all in person. Life has gotten in the way since moving and we haven't kept in touch much. Exciting life changing moments are happening in their lives and we aren't there to share with them. It hurts!! We are supposed to be. The kids are all supposed to be growing up together.

Growing older and doing life together.

IT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!

Maybe we will move back someday... Maybe we won't. Only God knows what is going to happen in our lives. He knows the hurt and longing we all feel right now for the friends... the family... we left behind. Even my husband who doesn't make friends easily. The ones he actually could call friends for the first time since high school... real friends... he doesn't have here. He longs to be in their company again. To feel the commodore that doesn't come easily to be filled with their love and friendship again.

This growing pain is hard. It hurts. I've been so tough on the outside with knowing this is where we are supposed to be and I'm trying to wrap my heart around it but I hurt inside. I know it took a while before to feel at home there, but the situation and life was so different them. Turmoil and strife. We don't have either of those now. There is a feeling of yeah God wants us here but this isn't home. Maybe it's because it's all still new I don't know but I really want to be back home today.

Bad.

Bad... Bad...

We are to be doing life together there. We are. It's hitting super hard today that we aren't and I don't like it.

God what is it you have for us here!?

Homeschool Mother's Journal - Light At The End Of The Tunnel

In my life this week...

I have been busy working on getting myself in shape. After 3 kiddos my body isn't what it used to be and I'm tired of not doing anything about it. I am one day away from finishing C25K Week 2 Day 3 and I'm doing Nike Training Club workouts. I'm seriously loving them both!! My body has been sore but a happy sore. My calories have been low and I'm feeling good. :) I'm excited!!

In our homeschool this week...

We hodge-podged around doing formula's for Area, Perimeter, and Volume. Dividing with remainders for the first time, and learning about the parts of a tree... heartwood, sapwood, vascular cambium, inner bark, and bark. We talked about the Indian Wars and the Gilded Age. Worked on Verbs and Spelling words. We also continued our work on building a Biblical Worldview.

I also decided instead of dreading how far behind we really are in our curriculum to sit and write out the last of our lessons to see how much longer we actually have till the end of our school year. I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED!!! When we first moved 4 months ago we were W....A....Y... behind! My daughter has been working her tail off doing double work for months now and has cut her time left for this year to actually finishing early vs working all summer. I am SO stinking proud of her!! I want to make the end of this year BIG for her! So much has happened through this school year and she has kept her head up. All A's but one class that ended at an 88%. Next school year marks another milestone for us. We add another student full time... Kindergarten for my middle child... so I want the rest of this year to be extra special for my hard working student. I was certainly renewed this week for our love of homeschooling!! Bring on 4th grade and Kindergarten... We're ready!

My favorite thing this week was...

Hmmm... I think other than what I mentioned above would have to be diving back into blogging and Twitter. Actually taking pictures and I guess getting back to me. I have felt the Lord more clearly this week and all around super happy with ME. It's been awhile since I have felt like this. It's a good feeling. :)

I'm reading...

Other than curriculum for next year... I picked up Reshaping It All from the sidebar over there again. I can't remember why I never got to finish it before, but I am determined to not let that happen again. God speaks to me through it and I can't wait to reshape everything the way HE wants me to. It need it I know it. This is a new beautiful season for me. It's going to be great!!

I'm grateful for...

God. All of you. My family and friends. My church and Bible study group. Everything. I'm seeing things in a whole new light and the growth God has me in right now is something more than awesome and definitely something to be grateful for. A cry of my heart this week too...

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

A photo(s) to share...

We got hit this week (Monday) with a crazy rain, thunder, and lightning storm. It was talked up so much with not much to show for it for so long I never thought it would show up. Then it did... Full force! It was AWESOME!! I love a good thunderstorm. The left over clouds this week have made for amazing viewing material.

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Feeling Refreshed

It's early morning and the house is sleeping. My husband is off at work. The windows are open and the birds good morning song is flittering through the house. My mind is racing on no one particular subject. Homeschool work today, blog designs, grocery lists, our week family campout... The list goes on and on. I just went to wake up my daughter for the day but she was so peaceful.

She groaned and said "Ugh, not already."

I said, "You asked to be woken up early."

"Yeah, but not too early."

"Ok, how about this. You tell me what time you'd like to wake up and I won't tell you what time it is right now."

"Heehee that's not fair. Ok, 7:30am"

"Ok babe it's 7:10am. No joke."

"Ugh, really??"

"Ok... I'll see you at 8."

;) Compromise and a mommy's soft heart. Of course I want her to sleep and to be well rested, but I think selfishly the extra time means I can sit in the still of the morning. Thinking. Breathing. Relishing in all that is good in my life.

I have been spending a little time this morning blog stalking. I haven't read any blogs in months. It felt good to catch up on some. Be joyously inspired by some and all around peace with the day and life at hand. While browsing my long lost friends, I just up and disappeared from, I found peace as well in seeing I am not alone.

I am not alone in failed curriculums, schedules, as a mom, etc. Emotions of not finishing or accomplishing. I am not alone. It gave me hope to press on. So thankful it's day is new.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:23

Life is hard. Being a mom is hard. Homeschooling with multiple children and active little ones is hard, but I grateful for the renewal of my soul in knowing I am not alone. I need to remember that. I needed to see that.

Today I dare to breathe, not freak out over what is not done and cherish just ever little moment I have. Play outside more and not stress about the worksheets. Read and snuggle more and stop putting off the fun to do list and actually get messy.

Thank you fellow bloggers. You certainly are good for this weary soul. I've missed you.

Really!?

12 days into the New Year and not a single post. Ugh is this a foreshadowing of my blogging lifestyle? I hope not. I think truthfully am just not wanting to sit at this big screen and write. My heart wants me to but through all right now I am not sure how to formulate the words.

I guess I shall hope that during nap time, in between Spelling Tests and school work, and deep cleaning the house and bathrooms before friends come over tomorrow, I can sit down to write all my heart desires to. That is even if I have lost all of my blog readers due to my wonderful blogging style. lol Sorry have to poke fun at myself. I really want to get better. :( So sorry. But that is a blog post in and of itself too.

Either way I pray your New Year so far has been fantastic. Love to you all!

And the band-aide comes off again

You ever feel some days it feels like you ripped the band-aide off a painful wound... Again?

It feels that way right this moment. As the tears are streaming down my face and I am screaming why!!??

Why did God move us here?

Why did God take us away more importantly from a Body of Christ like no other, and friends that are closer than a brother?

Why would he take that support system away from us?

For the most part I've been doing ok. A thousand times better than our first cross states move. The posts, pictures, videos, and now news reports of the amazing buzz our church back home is generating is pulling the heart strings even harder this morning.

This time of year alone is painful and hard to get through for me. I'm trying to make it better... To be better... To act better, but longing to be one place so bad isn't helping.

The news of a possible merger with my husband's new company and another isn't helping. All the questions and insecurities of what is to come isn't helping.

"Where does my help come from? It comes from the Lord maker of Heaven and Earth." (popped into my head as I was typing that last sentence.)

The "Ok God, I know you knew all of this was coming and yet you still chose to speak at such loud volumes saying to come... Why!? Why throw us essentially into the unknown like this."

I write that and it hits were they all there too much of a safety net for us? This whole experience has been a lean on & trust God like no other. To this magnitude is that how we are to be living? I know, I know that is a no brainer kind of question, but they knew us there. Like knew us knew us. Knew how to pray for us and God always spoke to us there. We had an amazing support system. Our church was our family! They were amazing mentors for our kids!

I long to be back in those halls with our family again so bad!

I am trying so hard to rest on knowing God is in control and knew this meltdown would happen. That we want to be back in our old state so bad with our friends and family. That even our kids friends are crying themselves to sleep at night saying it isn't fair! Will we ever live among them again this side of eternity? Before time and space apart grows between? Ha, although this family and friends none of that would matter. I guess that statement is more thinking of the kids and their friends, but even then this momma's heart would like to think time and space wouldn't matter for them.

We thought we had found a place where these kids were all going to grow up together and they all have a bound like nothing I've ever seen before! Us parents would talk about how we can't wait to see how they all interact in high school. They all homeschool. They all support and build each other up spiritually like nothing I've ever seen! Why would God take that away from us? From our children?

I don't understand it. I truthfully don't know how to seek the answer. Yes pray and quiet time with our great Savior, but it feels I need to do more. I'm not sure of much I've ever longed for as much.

Yep, even as excited as we were for this new adventure we still are hitting valleys along the way.

I want to go home.

There I said it. I want to smell the air again there, feel the warmth of our family, sit in our seats at church and be showered with God's amazing love through that Body, watch our kids play and grow there, experience first hand all the marvelous glories God is doing through that church in its community.

There is a reason why we can't I know that. It's just hard some days. I wish the band-aide wouldn't keep getting ripped off, and that I could see and feel the answer to my WHY!? more clearly.

Little of This... Lots of That... Total Random Rambling...

Have you ever just wanted to write. Write about anything or nothing. I am in that mood right now. I just want to ramble I guess. I'm sitting here at 6:56am listening to my middle child chomp on dry cheerios because he is the only one awake and is just hanging out watching TV. I successfully did not go back to bed this morning after my husband left for work. Yay, at least 2 days so far this week I haven't gone back to bed. I'll take whatever progress I can. We are halfway through week 2 of our new normal and so far so good still. I am still not used to my husband being home at the same time every night. Although it still takes him an hour to get home everyday it's still an hour earlier than before. I'll take what I can get. So far this week we have successfully completed both days of school. So super excited about this! Especially since we had so much time off before our move. We also switched up our History (as I mentioned in the post below.) I still need to write that all out. What we are doing now that is. We even included an hour long phone with my oldest and one of her dearest friends back home. Get this where they talked about their Science curriculum they each are doing right now. I love homeschooling!!! Have I mentioned that before? We are 2500+ miles away doing the same curriculum (don't mind the fact we are behind them right now due to us not doing school for a month due to our move but who cares about that right!?) and they can talk (and now Skype together) as review with each other about what they are learning in their same class!! AH-MAZING! It makes the miles seem shorter that is for sure! We have scheduled 2x a week Science Skype calls for the girlies! It's going to be so awesome and such a great way of review for them too! I can't wait till they Skype on Friday for the first time!! It's the little things really that make me excited! Speaking of excited... I'm excited things are starting to get settled in here and our new apartment is starting to feel like home. It's so nice and the space... oh the space!! I wish I could say there were lots around here to help make our new state feel like home, but I have to honest losing so many features from our library system is hitting hard. It was such a second hand resource for us! It's really hurting not having all we had available. It's going to take a ton of adjusting. Even for the kids. I'm hoping it doesn't make them lose some of their love for the library, but I definitely see it slipping since it's nothing like they are used to. Ugh, and the even their printing policy. Really hits the wallet!! Must but a printer... ASAP! :( We still have not found our new home church. We have tried out 2 churches so far in our 2 Sunday's here and so far neither have been the right fit. We are checking out a different one this coming Sunday and are super excited and hopeful. God knows which one is to be "ours". We are excited to see if this is it. :) We have starting trying out Google Chrome as a browser for the kids to have some games to play with per a recommendation of our friend. So far I like it. Do you use it? What do you love or dislike about it? Any favorite "apps"? I really need to organize our computer. Photos to print (that is something I don't do nearly enough, but we are hoping to change that!), files, accessibility, and trying to use it to the best of it's ablity. So many features... so much we never use. I would like that to change. Told you this was going to be random. I need to get better at my meal plan. Speaking of I need to look up all the ingredients for tonight's dinner and get that started soon. What are you having? I am thinking of making something chicken in the crockpot, some homemade dinner rolls (we LOVE these!), and parmesan asparagus. Gotta love Pinterest on the inspiration for dinner! I should really be like everyone else and make a weekly post or so of what I have tried or want to try from Pinterest. Lots of yummy food and terrific DIY's! Does anyone else wish Pinterest had a I've done this option? I guess I could create a board that says just that, but I guess a quick checkbox would be nice too. heehee. Oh guess what I made yesterday!!?? I'm so amped about this! I made our own laundry detergent!!!! I have already done 4 loads with it and we are really liking it so far! We absolutely want to stockpile on Fels-Naptha bar soap so we can make lots at a time. I only made one batch yesterday. We have so much powder left over to make so many more batches! It really is more cost effective!! So awesome!!

Well, the rest of the kiddos are waking their sleepy eyes so I guess I should go get my crockpot dinner started and get them some breakfast. Hoping to stay on top of accomplishment today!

Have a great Wednesday!! Thanks for reading my absolutely-no-sense-making-all-over-the-place-ramble.

Alive just busy

I want to blog so bad. I want to sit here and talk out our school day (whatever little bit of our day that may be right now.) I want to talk out all the thoughts and feelings in my head right now. Yet quiet time escapes me lately. My soul is most certainly feeling it.

I want to sit here and pour out all the details of this crazy awesome quick roller coaster of sorts God's script for us right now is showing.

I am not even sure anyone comes here to read anymore. I am so sorry I have been a horrible blogging buddy. Please forgive me. Time on the computer lately have been few and far between moments. School work right now isn't even being touch. We head on our adventure in only 16 days. Life is crazy, awesome, and beautiful... I wish though I had more time to pour out my heart.

We're alive I promise. Just working on details. I hope to share more soon. I miss you all! God Bless!!

Need to refocus

Plain and simple life is hard.

Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Emotional high one second... crashing to the bottom the next.

Feeling like we are flapping on the verge of staying put and flying off in the wind.

Satan has been having a hay day over here the last couple days. Thursday the high was indescribable and while it still is in some aspects Satan has been knocking things around and let's just say the confidence is so much lower than it has been for weeks. The free feeling and feeling of peace as definitely lost some power points. The green energy bar is most certainly in the yellow beeping as it is nearing red!

Thursday was a phenomenal hit. The door has not been closed at all but a speed bump has definitely been thrown our way. One that could very well be positive but it has taken some pep from our steps. Sadly Satan has won the last couple days. We have said over and over again that no matter the outcome of our action on the submit button we would praise God and be content and thankful for whatever the answer.

Satan is testing that theory full force.

Feeling defeated at home... at work... with self. All things my husband sadly admitted to me last night he has been feeling the last couple days. Unfortunately, I have played a major role in that jumping at uncomfortable feelings Satan has been throwing my way. It's been ugly. It's so sad too because the high and excitement we all had on Thursday was like nothing any of us have ever felt before. By late Saturday night till last night that was all out the window!

I have so much to work on. We both are praying like crazy to be brought back to the place of peace we have felt unbelievably for the last 2 1/2 weeks. Total surrender and although we haven't tried taking up the wheel ourselves the peace has definitely been shaken.

I have no idea what is going on with the submit button, but whatever it is Satan is having a hay day with messing up the peace foundation that has been in firm place for weeks now. There is a chance that one way or another we could have an answer about a direction for our future this week. That alone is nerve wracking. Throw in all the rest of what has been going and it's unsettling to say the least.

I am in need some deep worship time. Big time.

This script... This time in our lives has been like nothing I have ever experienced. I want, if nothing else, to have this story be a light for those in need or are going through the same thing. Once we hear an answer though I promise to lay out in detail all the crazy awesome things God has been doing during this time. The reason I haven't so far is because God has laid it on our hearts to not get cocky and over confident through it all. His answer could go either way.

I need to refocus and get my heart and mind back to the place of serenity it's been for the last couple weeks. The places they have been the last couple days have been horrible.

Whatever the answer.

Whatever the decision.

If God stops right now and says this is as far as I was taking you... We WILL be ok.... We WILL accept and be happy.

No matter what!

"We WILL praise God whether we win or lose."

I will not allow Satan to win any longer!!

We are going to close the gap and not be hanging any longer. We will move both feet back to solid ground.

Not the best of days.

Today is one of those days I want to throw my hands up and yell... Homeschooling is not for me. Not for us.

Deep down I know that isn't even remotely true, but today has been horrible. Truthfully it's also the first time that I have every threaten my child with being grounded as well. How sad is that? I know that sometimes measures like that need to take place, but she has never been a child that has needed to be grounded before. It stinks too that it's a week with dance class and a birthday party to attend in it.

UGH what to do!?

Do I keep the punishment or have her continue to work on her attitude and mistakes in school (simple ones from lack of effort and paying attention) and have her try to earn back the treats that await this week?

Today is just one of those bad homeschooling days. Drizzle chilly weather. Bad attitudes all the way around and a mom who would love a break.

Just needed to vent. That's all. Thanks for listening.

Keeping In Touch... How do you do it?

How do you keep in touch with family far and near especially if a.) they don't know about your blog or b.) you don't use your blog to update about your family? How do you keep in touch especially with family you hardly ever hear from/talk to?

For a long while now it's been on my heart to stop complaining and feel left out by the lack of interest in our family our family members have shown to us since we first moved away almost 4 years ago. In the same aspect fb has been the only way we used to see what possibly has been going on with them. They don't blog. We never email. We used to share pictures but they stopped check the sites we emailed with updates. They never post about their families on fb. Only we do. No one seems to care. We have a protected family blog but even then only 2 people that I know ever check the site.

I stopped posting on it.

I know it isn't about bragging... that isn't our intention... we are just wanting family to be apart of our lives I guess. No one in the family except 2 grandpa's know... like actually know... our children at all. That kills us. We have come to terms with our family members don't want to be close.

Ok.

Fine.

We don't understand it but that seems to be the case.

So, back to what's been on my heart for a while now, I have been wanting to send a family newsletter out to all our family members and friends. All of them. Not just at Christmas time but like every other month or so. Every quarter? We haven't decided yet. We found a way to share the newsletter online so all they have to do is click. We tried printing it yesterday but it didn't print out well on our end. We aren't sure what to do. Mail it or Email it that is the question.

We want our family and friends though to know our kids. Especially aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma's, and grandpa's that have never even met 2 of our children. EVER. Oh yes there are grandparents that have never ever met them. Never really talk to them even. Maybe our approach is selfish? Maybe it is wrong?

Any thoughts on it?

Are we in the wrong to be sending out info about our family to family and friends that haven't seemed to make it a priority or care to see what is going on with us? In the same token that question slaps me in my face. We aren't trying to call them. They aren't much on talking though. Trying to have a conversation sometimes is literally like pulling teeth and then it's only a 2-3 min conversation. Very "how is the weather" like.

What is the right thing to do?

I would really love your feedback.

How do you keep in touch with your family? Friends? Ones that really don't show any interest at all?

The First Steps... Officially Taken...

Okay the submit has been hit.

Have you ever had one of those flashes into the future where you realize the possibility of everything you have grown accustom to could be completely changing in a matter of months? The realization of all that you could be missing in the place you have called home? Of course the flip side is all you could be experiencing as well.

I have this sense of conflict inside me right now as I stare at the confirmation number that just arrived in my inbox. The next couple months have already been written in God's plan. The forks in the roads erased with only one path shown.

Left or Right.

A door open or the window closed.

He already knows this.

We don't yet.

We did it though. We took the first step. It was a heck of a first one too. We have never ever done anything like this before.

Forgive me if the next couple months are wishy washy posts of my insecurity or nervousness. I wish I could say which way my emotions were swaying with this right now. I think I will need this blog more than ever to talk through the emotions of this script of mine that God is playing out right now. It's not though that I am not excited about the possibilities that could be coming our way it's more the sadness of all that has been brought to us here and possibly leaving it behind.

Our future could be changing.

Our future could be staying as it is right now.

It's all in God's hands.

I am sorry for the repetition. I guess it's just playing out in my head and heart right now. All the possibilities. All the peace in knowing God wrote it and whatever the outcome it's what he planned. I am trying not to battle my demons with praying this isn't another case of God gives us the desires of our hearts just to again knock us down to pick us back up. I am praying we wholeheartedly learned our lessons on that the first time. I can honestly say just by our conversations and prayers, as husband and wife for our family and desire for God's Will, we are in a different place this time. But we all know how demons are. Creeping into every nook and cranny waiting for it to open the slightest bit. I am trying not to let any rays of sunshine through. I am praying I can stay diligent on that. It won't be easy though.

If you think about we could use some prayer. Some prayer to quiet Satan and to only see and hear the radiant work of the Lord in all of this... whatever the outcome. To calm any possible angry from family members helping in this should this outcome sway one way or the other. {I am not saying it will just covering all bases in prayer here.} To help us relinquish the wheel of trying to figure out all the needed details on our own and to remember that God has already told us that...

To not be so sad at what and who would be left behind in this possible new journey of our lives. I have been told and believe distance won't hurt the relationship but I'll miss the closeness that is for sure. 

So much so. 

Has anyone told you that growing up really stinks and is hard sometimes? I know we have all said it but I am certainly feeling that right now. 

I apologize for this being such a downer post from earlier today and last week. Just sorting and letting my heart and mind doing the talking. 

The first steps have been taken and are irreversible. Maybe that is where the nervousness is at... in the word...

 Irreversible

So final. No longer in dream and beginning prayer stages. Completely and full in God's hands. 

Stepping Out On Faith

Well the ball is in motion.

The submit button will be hit in the next day or so.

The giant step on faith will be taken in about 2 weeks when the plane lands.

All of this is in God's hands and he already knows the outcome.

The outcome that will not be shown one way or another until a couple weeks after the initial step out on faith has been taken.

That final outcome that still will not show itself until 3 weeks or so after the one mentioned above.

We are walking on faith.

The ball is rolling.

Is this the plan God has been working on?

Are we walking towards the refreshing cleansing water of HIS WILL?

Only God knows and we are trusting Him every step of the way.

This Journey is slow... I feel it'll be worth it though...

I have been tested this week.

Tested in a way I wasn't prepared for.

Tested in a way that has brought up a lot of good and sad questions.

Tested in a way that has yet to reveal God answer.

I have learned a lot about myself this week. I have learned that I hold more of the wheel than I let on to at times. I learned I need to walk the talk much better then I conducted myself this week. I learned even more than I thought possible to let go and let God. I learned that I can reach of "Give Up" point when a curveball comes faster than I thought I could.

God is still continuing to work there is no doubt about that. The process right now is painful and uncomfortable. There is a reason for its length and I need to remember that... It's easier said than done.

I have got to remember during this testing period that God's plan may be slow but the end is worth the journey.

I feel like this cute little guy right here. The journey to the end of this bench was a long way away for him... The Finish Line of God's plan for us feels like that right now too, but I know this little guy never gave up. I resolve not to as well. Even though this week I threw my hands up and said otherwise. Thank goodness for grace and forgiveness.



"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:" Psalm 37:5 {We only want HIS will... not ours! So we are committing the LORD's way and trusting him. No matter how long he has chosen this process to go.

It's Official... Co-Op is about to start

Our Co-op starts a week from today. I can not describe how I feel about this. I just printed off our family schedules and invoice. I am nervous about this yet apprehensive if that makes sense? My middle guy is very unsure about going into a class all by himself and truthfully it is breaking my heart. Leaving my littlest guy in the nursery with strangers is killing me too. My daughter adapts wonderfully so I am not worried about her.

At the same time, if I am honest with myself, I am sad to be starting co-op. So much has been going on lately and the emotional roller coaster has been almost too much for my soul to bear. I honestly was thinking we might not even be going to co-op because God was going to move us. While this possibility could come at anytime I had it in my head the evidence of something coming was overwhelming and a tad of a coincidence if you asked me. I had shared with my best friend and my husband that maybe I was just grasping at straws and making things look that way. As of right now that is how it looks but we all know how God can work.

So as we enter a new season of our lives and homeschool we are going to most certainly be leaning on God through all of this. I pray my children adapt nicely and that they have fun. My boys especially. I pray that our new crazy schedule doesn't stress or bog us down but brings us joys and growth together. I can't stress enough how much I am praying for my oldest boy... He is shy... quiet... isn't the keenest on being in a place that is new alone. I am most worried about him. It kills me.

Our daughter's dance schedule has now thrown a curve ball into our schedule as well. Her dance teacher texted me yesterday asking if it would be ok to move her up to the next class because the one we signed her up for is beginner beginners and she thinks my daughter would get bored. So we now will be taking dance class 2 hours later than before. Who does a dance class at 6:45 -7:45 at night? That totally throws a kink in our bedtime/shower time routine. This should prove to be interesting.

But I am resting in the fact God has this all under control. He is working and still moving and still guiding. He has never given us more than we can handle and though at the time co-op felt like that is exactly what he is wanting us to do I'm not sure we will be here to see the end of it. Then again we might. Until we know for sure what could happen I hope I am able to tell my heart to stop longing and just soak up every second of the here and now.

To live in the moment I am in.

When Plans Change

So our plans have changed for this weekend. We were going to attend our All-Church Retreat but upon chatting about it we have decided we are going to stay home and explore around here just the 5 of us. We have spent so much wonderful time with so many other people this summer we haven't done much just as a family. So since Hubby has 3 days off in a row that is exactly what we are going to do.

Just be the 5 of us.

I can't tell you how excited about this I am. We are.

It's sad to not be going to the retreat but honestly I think it will be more relaxing with the plans we have made for this weekend.

I can't wait.

Sometimes plans change and I'm ok with that.