Failed... yet again.

That is all it feels like I am doing lately. I by no means am Job and the strength that man possessed in all those trials is inspiring. The day is still young and a chance for redemption still available but is it too early to ask God for it to be new day again?

Life stinks right now.

Maybe the stink mood has to do with all the late nights and pushing of meds to the sick kiddos that yet again have plagued my house. Maybe it's the longing we all have to have fun again like we used to.

Maybe...

Maybe...

Maybe...

Anyone else have the whole Marsha, Marsha, Martha saying run through their head like I did right now?
Either way I am failing big time. Failing at home with short fuses, failing with my husband because seriously we have barely had time to talk to each other between doctor visits for the kids, school, work, church, and practices. Failing with God cause yeah... no quiet time here. Failing with myself and not scheduling any time for me. Yep all around fail.

As I was just writing the above sentences a verse from Facing the Giants has come to come. The sad thing is as comforting as this verse can be don't you think telling a friend "praying isn't going to help." is denying his name... see again... fail.  Batting a thousand over here huh?

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Revelations 3:8

Batting a thousand over here huh? 

The aroma of my heart right now is not pretty. It's not where it needs to be and I know that. It's in a spot that even though I know deep down how to get out of it I don't know how to get out of it. lol Total contradiction I know but that's the rut I'm in. 

I need to change the aroma of my heart... Right now that doesn't feel easy at all with all the lousy hands we've been dealt lately. A freezer that won't freeze, an overly whiny 2 year old that is making it very difficult to accomplish a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. for the last week, a new round of meds and a new 10 day period since the other meds weren't working, an entire house that doesn't feel well, the 8th and 9th service calls to fix things in a place we have been in only 4 1/2 months. I miss our old drafty place a lot right now. Even the smaller space. 

Ruts stink. 

The are faith building and I guess God is working on the junk in my heart because right now I feel of very little faith. *frown*