How do you see yourself?

I read a Facebook question posted a little bit ago asking you brag about yourself. Now, no this wasn't so much of a toot your own horn as much as the author wanted you to affirm yourself. Speak life over yourself.

So often we don't speak life over ourselves. We are our own worst enemies after all, right?

If I'm completely transparent I didn't post, I didn't even open the comments. I can't bring myself to do it.

How come?

I am in a season where watching others succeed is hard. I mentally can't handle it. But more so I have never been good at speaking life over myself. Yes, I can stand tall and proud and proclaim and know that I am the daughter of The King. I struggle with seeing me as He does though. I don't know my best quality and I struggle with how I look, how I talk, how I feel.

Why do we let Satan have such a hold like that over our lives when the author of life declares over us we are His? That we are made in His image and He sees life and good oozing out of all the parts He made that are us.

Why the struggle to point that out in ourselves?

We have no struggle pointing them out in others. Why is the inner question such a struggle?

What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Are you able to "brag about yourself?" To affirm yourself?

Christ gave each of us such unique gifts and talents. Gifts and talents that compliment those He has placed in our paths. Why do we struggle to live in that? Christ sees us so beautifully. Why do we not see ourselves as Christ sees us?

I have never been good at taking compliments. Ever. There are many reasons I could place as to why but I'm not sure anymore how many of those are true or I've just thought them for so long I believe they are true.

We have exactly what God wants us to have. We are strong in the areas He wants us to be strong in and weak in the areas He wants us to be weak in. I'm here today to tell you, and myself, that that is okay. We are meant to have the different strengths and weakness so we can walk alongside each other as the body of Christ not out shining each other but as one solid unit. Covering the areas Christ wants us to.

Why do we walk defeated when we should be walking victoriously? Why do I struggle with recognizing the talents God has bestowed upon me to walk in?

The author of the post said, "God made you to be awesome so I just want you to share a little bit of it with us."

I'm not sure I'm ready to share on there or here. I have a lot of seeking and healing to do. I need to mend the parts of me that struggle with calling those qualities out in myself, but I know that in Christ I'll get there. I'm here to declare today that I am not going to let Satan continue to hold that part of me down.

I pray that if you struggle, as I do, that you declare that over your life as well. I will be praying for you.

Claim today that...

Take Me Deeper... Take Courage My Heart...

Have you ever wanted something so deeply but unsure how to make it come to fruition?

I have felt that way with many things and these days it seems to be a growing list, but one thing that weighs heavy on my heart is a closer walk with God. I can't get enough of Him and long to just bathe in His presence everyday, but so many times I keep repeating "I will sit with Him once the kids quiet down, or go to bed, or...." take your pick. It's all been said and before you know it the day is spent and so am I.

There are so times I will get up when my husband is getting ready for work and I will sit quietly in God's presence but then I don't want to stop and then the kids wake up late, and yep... life. I then feel like I am behind the ball for the rest of the day despite that I started my day with my Heavenly Father.

Why is that?

Why is it that Satan has a hayday with making us push things off or instantly dangle anvils over our heads? Is there a happy medium?

I heard a song today and it made my heart stop, for so many reason, but one reason was because I feel paralyzed with wanting to seek time with God deeper and yet sometimes I beat myself up because it isn't as deep as I'd like. There are times it feels numb because of life's constant tosses to and fro of the waves that keep crashing into us before it hits the shore. Not sure where to start. Like the words to speak to Him are tied so tight around my tongue that I'm sure how to unwind them so I don't try.

I forget so many times that I need not say a word but to just read His Word and let His whispers wash over me. 

Why do I forget that?

Yes He wants me to talk to Him but He wants me to sit with Him too. To listen to Him. To just be with Him.

Why do I forget that?


Am I the only one that feels that way?

I have a couple studies and books sitting on my to-read/ to-do shelf lately. Do you? Do yours seem to carry a theme? Do you notice your books ever cycle like that? Is it just me?

I'm trying not to get stuck in the rut of "it isn't fixed" because I so desperately don't want to miss what "is."

I'm going to declare no more paralyzed feelings but more sitting in His presence.

Going deeper still...

Taking courage that it doesn't matter what life is throwing up being with Him and embracing all He has graced us with is what matters.

"He is in the waiting..." He's just waiting for us to come sit with Him...

He is in the valleys and the mountain tops. He just wants us to sit with Him. To bask in Him. Satan has done such a good job with playing with our minds that we have to do more than that, but we don't. It's all about the relationship. The time spent together. Where He talks to us and we talk to Him.  He just wants us to be with Him. To go deeper still...

Why do we complicate that?

He just wants us to be STILL in His presence... Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul... 

SaveSave

Scripture & A Snapshot: Psalm 139:17-18

This week I was going through saving all the pictures from a trip my family and I took right after Christmas. We had the pleasure of getting to spend some time with my sister and her family for 2 days around El Paso. On the full day we all had there we took a trip a little north to White Sands, NM.

Oh man, let me tell you... if you have never been there... YOU MUST! The sight can not simply be described to an extent worthy of words. It's breathtaking!!

While I was capturing the cousins sledding down the gypsum God whispered to look down at the grains that surrounded my every being. Thoughts of how to buy groceries when the laughter of the trip was over had been flooding my head the whole trip and in that single whisper of "look down"my breath caught. God thought about each and every one of these little grains that I was so thoughtlessly raking my fingers through. The feel was stunning and cool to the touch. While I am sure the 40's-50's in temps helps but it was still very cool to the touch.

God gave me the perfect image within those grains right there in the middle of a missile testing valley that even though those grains were in His thoughts how much more does He see me and will take care of my needs?! In a single moment of looking down and seeing this impression in the sand from where my knee had been propped alongside of the hill each grain looked so profound and visible.

He sees me. 

He sees you. 

He sees each of our thoughts and needs, and even though he holds the entire world in His hands He tenderly cares for each of our needs as He does each grain of sand. The master is carefully tending to each and every one of us. We often forget that but aren't you glad He never does! 

Wash Over Me

I don't know about you but God has placed a way to seek Him on my heart. It's a seeking that Scripture and a Snapshot craves. I see a picture He has had me take and he pours a couple words into my heart and then asks me to research them. Maybe a Bible verse or a song. The kind of digging that He wants to speak into my heart and teach and mold me with. 

The last couple of days God has been leading a lyric here, a lyric there, a phrase here, a phrase there to pop up all around me. This morning he placed a picture on my heart with it altogether.

(Photo of a part of Gorman Falls in Texas. The falls flow into the Colorado River)

Do you see it? The rock formation that looks like a man sitting there thinking? With his hand under his chin?

Pretty cool, huh?

This week God has been reminding my soul that He is washing over me during this time of waiting we've been doing. He is making me "stronger" through this time. Strong like this rock, and while the water chips away rock as it flows consistently over it like this; those chipped away parts are parts of my life God says I don't need to keep on me anymore. 

I started looking for Bible verses that talk about washing over me and I love how the different translations formulate the same verse... 

Psalm 42:7

New International Version

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

New Living Translation

I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.

English Standard Version

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me.

NET Bible

One deep stream calls out to another at the sound of your waterfalls; all your billows and waves overwhelm me. 

He's roaring over me! Not only are His waters washing away the parts of me that He is refining but the roaring of the waves are also washing away the parts of the world that are trying to attack me. A beautiful picture of Him protecting and shaping us. 

A great visualization of this picture came to me as well of how our foundations are built on The Rock. That it keeps us "Stronger" and able to weather the roaring waves that wash over us from time to time. 

(Lyrics from Mandisa's "Stronger")

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you Stronger

(Lyrics from Unspoken's "Lift My Life Up")

If peace is a river then let it sweep over me
If I'm under fire I know it's refining me
When I hear You calling out I follow now wherever the road may go
I know You're leading me home

(Lyrics from Hawk Nelson's "Diamonds" ... and you could change the word 'fire' to 'water' for the sake of this example)

Here and now I'm in the fire, 
In above my head
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
Being held under the pressure, 
Don't know what'll be left
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
But it's here in the ashes
I'm finding treasure

He's making diamonds, diamonds
Making diamonds out of dust
He is refining in his timing 
He's making diamonds out of us

I'll surrender to the power
Of being crushed by love
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
Till the beauty that was hidden
Isn't covered up
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
Oh it's not what I hoped for
It's something much better

(Lyrics from Lauren Daigle's "Trust In You") 

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

So let me offer you some encouragement today. If you feel like you are drowning His washing is refining and making you stronger! So even when you feel like your head is under water and there doesn't seem to an end in sight know that he is cleansing you, shaping you, and shielding you. In His time He will clear the water from your eyes and you will see all He was doing. The beauty of it all. 

Enjoy the water washing over you! 

Enough

What comes to mind when you hear that word?

I have so many different variables of that word that run through my head right now. It's a word that seems to be on repeat lately that God is really asking me to look at. Let's see if any of these resonate with you as well...

ENOUGH!!!! 

(A tantrum with stomping feet and a scream at the time of your lungs...) 

Enough... 

(I have enough or you don't have enough...)

YOU are Enough...

(you feel accepted by...)

Webster's dictionary defines it like this...
Simple definition: Equal to what is needed
Full definiton: occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or exceptions

Over the last 8 months this words seems to grow in size for me on all ends of the spectrum listed above and each time I feel like I am drowning in one or all of them God brings me back to dry ground with questions of... 

Where is my heart? What am I worshipping? Where is my focus? 

Have I made a "not enough" of one of these areas BIGGER than Him? Have I started to become an idolator of one or more things than of God and my time with him? 

The hard truth of it all is... yes, yes I have. 

I have cried and screamed and yelled that the load is too much. This isn't fair. Why can't I be enough for... Fill in all of the blanks and I'm sure you won't have any trouble guessing all of the above. Why do we do these things? Why is it that it is so easy for us to slip the blinders on and become of the world without intentionally meaning to? Is it because when all is going good we put different blinders on and when the road is hard and those blinders fog up we freak out. 

Where's the road? 

Is that a bend? 

I need to know so I can prepare!! 

But do we really need to!? Doesn't the Bible repeatedly tell us not to fear and that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow? 

I don't know what the plan is but the road feels tight and long. We are weary and of little strength. We have broken down and screamed and yelled. We have cried and cried and we have prayed and prayed. While we don't know the plans God hasn't turned his back in our questions or anger. I don't even know that anger is the right word. Confusion... cries for answers... disappointment... but anger? We have known all along that God has a plan and he's still working... 

He is still working on you too and all of those "ENOUGH'S" whatever end of the spectrum and all of the parts in-between... God is right there too. We need though to work on not keeping our eyes and hearts fixed on the good, bad, and ugly of those, but to keep our eyes on the ONE who says... 

"In your tantrum ENOUGH... don't scream and fight because in those moments my strength is made perfect and I am fighting for you!" 

"You will always have ENOUGH THROUGH and IN ME... don't mistake that with earthly enough... IN and THROUGH ME!" 

"Oh my sweet sweet child... you are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ENOUGH for me!! Always remember you ARE who I say you are!!" 

Are you struggling with that tonight? 

This week? 

This month? 

This year? 

I want to encourage you that you are not alone. And not just because I too am walking that road but because the ONE who is moving, molding, shaping, guiding, providing is walking right there with you too. 

Fix your eyes on HIM and not the details of the ENOUGH spectrum listed above and watch HIM take the worry away, the pride, the idolatry on all things that are deterring you from full focus and community with Him. 

I was watching a study by Kyle Idleman called "gods at war" and this verse was mentioned in one of the lessons... It hit me that it went with the question of... where is my heart, sight, and focus on the enough spectrum really at most of the time lately.

40They would not listen, however, but persisted in their former practices. 41Even while these people were worshiping the Lord, they were serving their idols. To this day their children and grandchildren continue to do as their ancestors did. 

2 Kings 17:40-41

It was a hard truth because on those fist banging crying nights of "why are we walking this right now it seems so backwards" my focus has definitely been on the problem and not who provides the solution. I am grateful though that after releasing the tears God has been quick to bring peace to my heart and bring me back to his embrace saying "feel better now? Now stop listening to the world and just keep your ear tuned to me." It's hard when you get up and life starts moving the world sometimes drowns out His voice throughout the day, but He is near and when I stop to look and say "no Satan you can not have this moment. I am not going to let this thought run wild!!" I'm reminded I can throw away the former practices and walk in His peace that passes all understanding to His Will for my life, my family's life, and we will praise him no matter that road ahead leads us to.

So let me ask you... Do you have ENOUGH of the RIGHT thing? Are you focused on the right thing?  Him? I don't always... 

He's going to rock your world!!

Are you ready for it!? 

70X7

The last couple months have been a rollercoaster.

So many moments that scream, "This isn't fair!" Moments I don't understand at all. Moments where I have seen a loved one cry over the cruelty.

It isn't fair and I am angry.

There I said it.
To more than just a close friend and the loved one. I've now said it to all of you.

I am angry. And yet through that anger God keeps saying, "I've got this. Keep holding on." Not just to me but to another feeling the same way.

I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't know why God puts us in uncomfortable situations. I don't know why God puts people in our lives that essentially tear us down. Maybe it's to build us up on the back end? Maybe it's to prune us and build the "tearee"down to build back up? To show they don't have the control they think they have? This weekend it seemed clear that one reason may be to be the light in a self centered dark world. That it may be a "70X7" kind of moment to keep turning the other cheek and show God's grace through it.

Matthew 18:21-22 {KJV}

21Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

I'm not going to lie though that feels disheartening. It makes me want to cry and I worry about what that will destroy if it's lived out. One heart can only take so much rejection. Yet I am brought back to center with the reminder that "we are to be in the world but not of the world." That the people around who hurt have been hurt themselves. That Jesus was not always welcomed, he was torn down too, and yet He was always there.

What is it that he said... "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." ?

While deep in my heart I am almost positive this situation they know what they are doing... I can't help but ponder do they really?

Hurt people hurt people.

What is the back story?
What are we supposed to learn through all of this?
What are we supposed to do through all of this?
What are we to do about the future?
Why are in the environments that we are in?

"You must really hate someone to not want to show Christ to them."

Ouch huh?

There are a ton of unloveable people in the world. People who go out of their way to hurt and destroy to build themselves up. I think we need to remember, as much as our human nature doesn't want to, that maybe just maybe they are desperately trying to fill a void they can't fill because they are filling with all the wrong things, and destroying us, destroying you, is the only way they know how to function.

I have no doubt that God is in control, and I know a lot of brokenness is coming for the growth on the other side. My heart breaks for the breaking that is coming. It scares me because I don't know what it'll look like. So many thoughts feel back to square one again.

Yet as usual, God is there. Right there in the midst of it all. This morning even with a post from last night I didn't see till the top of my FB feed showed it to me this morning.

He was there this morning in my devotional this morning. In verses that stop you and say, "Really?" Even when you know, without a shadow of any doubt at all, yes, of course really. 

It's time to stop resisting and start trying to live as Christ. He has a plan. He is in control, and even though it feels like we are swimming in the valley it is all according to His purpose. If even ONE comes to Christ or is shown Christ through it all, none of it has been in vain. 

Here is to my next step...

It's the still of the morning. Only a couple rustling noises come from the blankets at my feet with the  kiddos still sleep. I am sitting here checking photography photos and scouting the shoot location I will be in only a few short hours.

I'm nervous and honored at the same time. Just an interesting combination. God 100% set this up so I know he's got it and he's equipped me to do this. How I was chosen. What God did behind the scenes.

It doesn't shake the feeling though...

Is this really happening? It really it. It truly really is.

Today feels like the beginning of something new. Something God has been working on me to do for years. He 100% wet the ground and then the fleece overtime I asked. Faithfully.

So, here is to stepping out on the faith and assurance I will be doing something today God wants me to do.

After all of the photo shoots I have done over the last 10 years, today feels official for some reason.

Here we go Lord... Your Will and not mine be done.

Ephesians 3:12 {KJV}  

In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him.

Do you stop to think WHO?

God has been rocking my world lately. My inner soul world! He has been challenging me abundantly to come to his feet in awe of who I am praying to.

Have you actually stopped to think about that!? How majestic he is?

Let me just share with you exactly how... Revelation 4.

1After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.”2At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. 4Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. 6Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal. 

In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. 7The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. 8Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying: 

“ ‘Holy, holy, holy 

is the Lord God Almighty,’

who was, and is, and is to come.” 

9Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say: 

11“You are worthy, our Lord and God, 

to receive glory and honor and power, 

for you created all things, 

and by your will they were created 

and have their being.”

Whoa right!?

We are currently going through Crazy Love by Francis Chan at our small group at church and Francis shares this in Chapter 1. It was absolutely core shaking to step back and think of this before approaching the throne. Before hearing this part I can't remember ever stopping to think like that about who I am approaching and all of his glory. Okay, I've always known who but to picture him in all of his glory like this, as John describes, no. I have always just pictured all the pictures of Jesus walking along the dirt road with his disciples while here on earth. And while I think that is important too because he does talk to us like a friend in that setting he is also so much more than that.

Then in today's First 5 devotional even in Exodus they touch upon preparing ourselves for worship and approaching the throne. That even creation doesn't take lightly God's glory. Exodus 19 tells of the event. It's okay... you can go read it. I'll wait.

So why don't we prepare ourselves in the same way?

Why in our quiet time are we so quick to think of our own needs and come "selfishly" with "requests" vs spending time praising God for all HE is?

Yes, coming to Him with our needs are important, don't get me wrong, but when is the last time you just worshiped Him. For Him. Sang his lavish praises!?

Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come...

Do you lay your crown at his feet and just worship him? Do you tremble in his presence?

I challenge you today that when you go to his feet today don't talk about you or the mountains you feel building up on all sides of you. Praise Him today. Really stop and think before you start of who you are speaking to. What would come out of your mouth?

(Click to 4:54 on the video below to hear Francis describe WHO you are praying to! It's good stuff!! I promise!)

What are you going to do with your dash?

It's time of year again.
When you expect everything to be renewed and ready to go.

I have always struggled with resolutions and January 1st. Why is it that the world always hypes up that "new" with January 1st. Can't we start things in the middle of a week vs. Mondays, or in April vs. January? Biblically God says, "they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:23) So every morning could be January 1st.

But... I get it. I really do.

A fresh new calendar. No previous marks seen of the days past where we didn't do as we hoped. A fresh new look. A remodel if you will. I get it.

Trip Lee this week said it this way...

This weekend at church I was reminded that each of these "new days" and all the days in-between are apart of our dashes. I've always loved that but the reminder was perfect! The moments in our life that really count are between our dates on our headstones... our dashes.

What are we doing with our dashes in this day of "new?" Are we planning to be more of a servant? Will we really seek out where to serve? Will we be digging deeper with Christ? Will we be working on dying to self more? Will we finally be accepting our roles as disciple making disciples and start changing the world right around us, today?

The calendar doesn't have to be on the first to start living your dash. You are already living your dash. It doesn't matter what marks are on your calendar behind this day; the day when more thought goes into living that dash because it's the beginning of a new month in a new year. All of your days are apart of the story God has inked in your life. It's all apart of your testimony. Those days show His mercy, grace, love, hope, redemption. Those days don't need to be erased or forgotten. They just need to be looked at through His eyes and you need to remember they aren't what defines you. You are defined by what God calls you. The son or daughter of The One True King. An heir to the throne. Just don't forget where He has brought you from and where He is leading you to as you live each of these moments of your dashes. Remember his faithfulness through it all and shout His praises in each moment of your dashes.

As the calendar is moving and a new day is dawning... What are you doing with your dash today? And remember if today's dash marks don't go quite as planned God isn't leaving your side or waiting for January 1st to start over again. Live your dash to His fullest... He's already walked and knows whats coming and where stumbling may take place so don't lost heart if your dash today isn't how you hoped. The important thing is to always come to him, renew yourself, learn from the missed beat and set the pen down again and try not to lift it again.

I pray that as we all are walking this new year, new day, new hour that we hold fast and remember to encourage each other. Not to judge each other's dash or envy each other but to simply love, encourage, and walk our dashes together for the Kingdom!

"that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." - Romans 1:12 

I'm praying for your moments in your dashes!

Scripture And A Snapshot: Cling

This last year has been something else. Life full of change and uncertainty at times. One thing I know through it all is that we have had to CLING to God more than ever.

This verse has been one that God keeps laying on my heart. No matter what we have been faced with his right hand has upheld us!

He will up hold you too!

Confidence in how God sees us...

We have all faced moments where our character and integrity has been questioned and misconstrued by people we love and respect. By family, close friends,  co-workers... People you can't believe feel or see you in a way they do.

There have been moments in my life this has happened to me, my husband, even my children and I sit back crushed crying out "I can't believe that is how they think I really am." "I thought they knew me/you/us."

I then dwell on it feeling utterly crushed. I feel insecure and question everything I say or do. "Will it come across right?" "Will my heart really be seen/heard?" "Why am I (we) being looked/thought about in such a way that is not us at all?"

It's in those self destructing moments God whispers, "Stop my child... that is exactly what Satan wants you to think! STOP looking for the approval of others and how they view this or that about this situation or that situation! Have you stopped to ask me is that how I view it? Have you stopped to ask if I view your heart(s) that way? Have you asked if I am in agreeance with them? Shouldn't my opinion matter more!?"

I think why some of our answers are no to those questions asked by God is because we are human and sinful and thanks to the fall we feel built up when those we care about and respect see us in a way that is glorifying to God. It hurts when they don't. We let those moments tear us down instead of turning to God to build us up and to be reminded it only matters how he sees us and knows how where our hearts truly are.

I was reading in my God time this morning on this very matter (isn't awesome how God brings exactly what he wants your heart to hear at just the moment your soul needs it the most!!) and God kept reminding me to have confidence in Him that he speaks on our behalf. He fights the battles of misreadings and we are to walk with confidence in who we are in Him. Who HE sees us to be when it comes out that others view us wrongly. That we need to turn our hearts away from that sinful "looking for approval of others" back to being aligned with God once again and only care about how HE views us.

After all, wasn't even Jesus' heart, words, and actions also wrongly accused and looked down upon badly at times as well? Yet he kept his head up and walked with confidence because he knew God saw him as he truly was/is.

So, take heart... the view of others isn't the end of the world. God views you different and knows all sides. He will fight the battle for you, even if it doesn't turn out as you thought, he has a plan and a reason.

Whether it is family, friends, work, or life in general remember to walk boldly with confidence. You are a child made in the image of Christ and even if the world doesn't view your heart for what it is/was in a particular situation, God does!

And that is all that matters!

Jeremiah 17: 5-10

This is what the lord says:

“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,

who rely on human strength

and turn their hearts away from the lord.

6They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,

with no hope for the future.

They will live in the barren wilderness,

in an uninhabited salty land.

7“But blessed are those who trust in the lord

and have made the lord their hope and confidence.

8They are like trees planted along a riverbank,

with roots that reach deep into the water.

Such trees are not bothered by the heat

or worried by long months of drought.

Their leaves stay green,

and they never stop producing fruit.

9“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,

and desperately wicked.

Who really knows how bad it is?

10But I, the lord, search all hearts

and examine secret motives.

I give all people their due rewards,

according to what their actions deserve.”

Life Lessons Learned While Painting...

It's that time of the year where the sun is out and your heart starts to say, " It's time to clear out the cobwebs and spruce up the place."

You know the need to add... 

A new little flower here... 

A new frame/art piece there... 

Maybe even a fresh new coat of paint over yonder... 

Or light fixture... 

You get the point. 

Like so many others that bug hits us too, all the time. After almost 3 years of living with the flat paint that was here when we moved in (a gorgeous bright tan but it shows e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g) we said enough was enough. Family is coming and we were ready to make it look different than when they were here last so we recently painted our whole house. What a difference let me tell you what!

...But that is besides the point...

While I was painting our laundry room God hit me with something beautiful. While I was getting ready to paint over a scuff mark from the washing machine God said,

"You know this is a very symbolic metaphor to everyone's lives." 

"Huh, God?" 

"You see,  I wish everyone would see that you can always change your look, move or cover up the imperfections and dings, but unless you address and repair each of them properly they will always show themselves again and again. Moving here and there, moving this and that, adding that plant or this frame, or adding a fresh coat of paint won't fix the imperfections underneath until you properly address and change the heart of the issue. That way when the paint dries and the dust settles from the moving and covering up everything around the 'stains' don't seep back through to the surface once again." 

At that moment I put the paint brush down and came to tell my husband. It was such a eureka kind of moment. You know the kind... A eureka moment that a Father shares with a child while fishing, or a "Leave It To Beaver" kind of moment. One everyone needs to hear from their parent whether they need it right then and there or will pull it from the memory bank that he is preparing for later, or he is finally giving you a picture example of a life lesson you have walked before.

Whatever the situation God is using right now he wants you and I and all of his children to know that he just wants you to make sure you are properly taking care of the heart of the issue in your life so you and him can redecorate without the issue rearing it's ugly head again and again as time continues to tick on.

He is the master decorator after all and reshapes us with each lesson each day after all!

Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. ~ Isaiah 64:8

One More Round...

Wrestling With God.

That's what this weekend's Sermon was about. Just a perfectly timed message. What I loved about it was when our guest speaker mentioned that "wrestling with God isn't that we are wrestling with a person or situation. That our fight isn't with something, but that we are actually wrestling with God because he wants to teach us something and bless us." We talked about Jacob wrestling with God and how he went rounds all night and kept toe to toe. Instead of giving up he kept saying, "Bless me."

I need to ask God to do that so bad.

I am wrestling with God on a number of things, but instead of getting upset or thinking I need to be in control to get to where I need (or think I should be) I need to just wrestle and not lose focus on who I am wrestling with. I need to realize it isn't in vain. I am wrestling with God because he wants to teach me something good, bless me with invaluable information and growth, and that I will miss it if I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE A WAY OUT OF THE STRUGGLE MYSELF.

I need to remember the points that were mentioned. #1: There comes a time where at some point we have to wrestle with God alone. #2: It's in the wrestle with God that we receive revelation about our true identity and step away from the situation we are allowing to define us. The situation/person that we are allowing to identify us. #3: Once you wrestle with God you will forever be changed. Never to be the same again.

I want to keep such a hold on the wrestling match that God has to tell me to let go because it is daybreak but I do not want the wrestling to end until God blesses me out of it! Just like Jacob.

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." Genesis 32:24-26

I have to stop trying to wrestle free and start wrestling for the workout. For the blessing, learning, and growth. I have to stop wrestling and trying to get free so I can control the situation or person. All I am then doing is allowing lies to speak over me and define me.

"Because you haven't done..."

"Because you don't have..."

"Because you have failed here..." 

The lies continue if we wrestle to try and change those lies ourselves. If we remember that there is a reason we haven't done, don't have, and maybe failed in an area that maybe it's because we missed looking for the lesson and that God is wrestling with us for our good. OUR good. We may have stepped out to figure it out on our own, or that we were chasing the wrong dream and God is stopping the path because even though we think we are supposed to be one place he wants us to stay for OUR good. The wrestling never feels good, but there is a reason. A lesson. A blessing.

There are countless scenarios that the wrestling could be taking place and there is something everyone is wrestling with God with... I guess my point is that I need to remember to stop thinking I am wrestling with a situation/person and stop being frustrated at the rounds I keep feeling I enter the ring for.

I won't get knocked down.

I will keep going toe to toe and I will keep remembering that it's God I am wrestling with and when he wins... I win. 

The wrestle isn't going to leave me feeling like I'm failing. I win in so many ways by changing my view, my approach to who it really matters to and rest in the fact I am growing and learning from the Father. He loves me, and I am his child. He is teaching me and I want his blessing. What better trainer in the ring would you want?

I WILL NOT LET GO OF THE WRESTLE UNLESS HE BLESSES ME.

Even if the blessing is opposite of what I think it should be.

Because anything from God is a blessing... even more special when he shows his might that he is right and that keeping me where I am is for my own good. The growth that will come is going to be so beautiful and it'll shape/train me for the next wrestling match.

I'm ready to keep up the wrestling match. I will not waver and match God, seek God, and ask him to reveal to me what lies I am allowing to define me. I will seek his blessing and grow in all the training he is shaping me in.

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

When I want the struggle to end and I want God to stop I need to remember there he is training and wrestling with me for my own good.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 

Artist: BarlowGirl
Title: One More Round
Album: How Can We Be Silent

Songtext:

Round one wasn't what I thought it'd be
Round two I'm struggling to breathe
3, 4, 5, 6, 7 times I wondered why I stepped inside this ring

I may be knocked down and so bruised
But I'm here to tell you
I may be knocked down but not for the count

1,2,3,4
So take me one more round
I'll just keep fighting
One more round
You're messing me up but I'm still here
One more round I'll come out swinging
One more round I'm telling ya now I'm not going to lose it here

It's so hard to get above the floor again
But I now that victory is when
I'm pushing through the pain that tries to feed me lies that I wont reach the end

I may be bloodied and so bruised
But I'm here to tell you
I may be knocked down but not for the count
1,2,3,4
So take me one more round ill just keep fighting one more round
You're messing me up but I'm still here
One more round
I'll come out swinging
One more round
I'm telling ya now I am not going to lose it

I am not defeated
Though you cannot see it
I have never won a battle on my own
I find strength in weakness
I find hope believing
God is for me who can bring me down?

So take me one more round
I'll just keep fighting

One more round
You're messing me up but Oh, I'm still here
One more round
I'll come out swinging one more round
I'm telling you now I'm not gonna lose it here