Can I say, one, Instagram has totally taken over my blogging time, and two... Life has been REAL lately.
A couple weeks ago the five minute Friday theme was real. I had all intentions of sitting down to write but real life got in the way and I never got a chance to come back to it. Real time to sit down at the desktop almost needs to be planned out and that slot of time set aside or it never seems to happen.
Stitches have happened.
A fat lip has happened.
Co-Op days and stressful, let's finish the school year, days have happened.
Full days/weekends at the ball fields have happened.
Hundreds of baseball pictures to upload to share sites for teams has happened.
Doctor appointments have happened.
Dentist appointments have happened.
Crashing in bed at night surprised we've made it through another day has happened.
Prayers of what futures look like and paths God wants for us has happened.
Steps to "living like no one else later" have happened.
Thoughts and prayers over relationships in our lives have happened.
Prayers for direction for our children's homeschooling as our oldest is middle school now has happened.
A birthday and a college visit trip has happened.
Piles of laundry and dishes have sat and been put away have happened.
Yard work and housework has happened.
Tears and laughter have happened.
Day trips and BBQ play in the backyard has happened.
Life has been real lately...
Real busy... Real fun... Real interesting as adulthood and parenthood continue to grow each day.
It sure is a real nice place God has been working on us in.
And I sure hope to be back... real soon. ;)
Until then... follow me on Instagram... where life seems to be "blogging" over there a lot more frequently these days. ;) {@lyndsdscriptedheart}
Showing posts with label Family Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Life. Show all posts
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Such is life... But Jesus dealt with it too.
I'm struggling.
ooo yea a happy post!? heehee...
I am though.
The family ties I was born into are hard on the soul.
Negativity.
Selfishness.
Heartless comments.
The list goes on and on sadly.
I try hard not to let them bother me or affect me but truth is it's getting hard to rise above and pretend like the snide comments are "ok." If you want even the slightest bit of contact you have to continue to smile over text or fb when rude heartless comments are made (mainly directed at other family members) and you know the heart of the person saying the snide comments are not in the right place. That they purposefully want to hurt someone else. They hope you will join in.
I won't.
Ever.
Hate to break it to you.
But it's hard because I am not the only one that sees it or feels it. How do you comfort that? When it only bothers me that is one thing, others noticing is something entirely different.
Especially when it's your kids.
It's hard to walk a path where you try to value the other people every time you "talk" to them but you know they could care less about valuing you or anything you like/care about.
It's such an interesting line.
One line however that makes me eternally grateful is for the non-blood relationships God has blessed us with of those that we not only love and cherish but the feelings are mutual and returned.
Jesus reminds me that even he was "unaccepted" among "his hometown crowd." Siblings took a while to "accept" and so forth.
Now, I don't want a "oh it's all about me acceptance thing" but I think y'all know what I am meaning. Jesus has walked these shoes before me as well. As uncomfortable and questioning that it is, it is nice to know I am not alone and really do have people who care.
So, I will continue to be like Christ and rise above. Turn the other cheek and pray when the comments are made for God to heal my heart not only for the hurt in my heart for me, but for them (As they seem hellbent to live so unhappily/negative, all about them, and unaccepting and so forth), but also to heal the hurt in my heart towards the people the others are digging at as well. If that makes any sense at all.
Family dynamics.
Oi.
ooo yea a happy post!? heehee...
I am though.
The family ties I was born into are hard on the soul.
Negativity.
Selfishness.
Heartless comments.
The list goes on and on sadly.
I try hard not to let them bother me or affect me but truth is it's getting hard to rise above and pretend like the snide comments are "ok." If you want even the slightest bit of contact you have to continue to smile over text or fb when rude heartless comments are made (mainly directed at other family members) and you know the heart of the person saying the snide comments are not in the right place. That they purposefully want to hurt someone else. They hope you will join in.
I won't.
Ever.
Hate to break it to you.
But it's hard because I am not the only one that sees it or feels it. How do you comfort that? When it only bothers me that is one thing, others noticing is something entirely different.
Especially when it's your kids.
It's hard to walk a path where you try to value the other people every time you "talk" to them but you know they could care less about valuing you or anything you like/care about.
It's such an interesting line.
One line however that makes me eternally grateful is for the non-blood relationships God has blessed us with of those that we not only love and cherish but the feelings are mutual and returned.
Jesus reminds me that even he was "unaccepted" among "his hometown crowd." Siblings took a while to "accept" and so forth.
Now, I don't want a "oh it's all about me acceptance thing" but I think y'all know what I am meaning. Jesus has walked these shoes before me as well. As uncomfortable and questioning that it is, it is nice to know I am not alone and really do have people who care.
So, I will continue to be like Christ and rise above. Turn the other cheek and pray when the comments are made for God to heal my heart not only for the hurt in my heart for me, but for them (As they seem hellbent to live so unhappily/negative, all about them, and unaccepting and so forth), but also to heal the hurt in my heart towards the people the others are digging at as well. If that makes any sense at all.
Family dynamics.
Oi.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
It's A Journey...
... But let me tell you I so want to reach the destination!!
In our house projects!
Spring is coming. It's been 4 months since we have moved into our first home. We are beyond itching to start the projects. We are busy trying to get our house projects envelope to catch up with our desire to start making the inside personal, but where to start!?
Oh the ideas let me tell you what!!
2 weeks ago we hogged Home Depot's Behr's paint selection machine and picked colors for every room for a good hour. No joke. It was so fun!The entryway, the school room, the whole house!! The first room we are going to paint will be our daughter's room. We already have same splotches up on the wall and we are pretty sure she has settled on a color. We just need to pick up which gallon finish we want and start taping off and moving everything out of the way. Painting her dresser, her bed, and walls are the first on the agenda.
But I want to start!! I am not a patient person. My husband isn't either which honestly presents lots of problems when we need to tell each other to slow down. It really doesn't look pretty when we each jump and we need one to be the reasonable one. It's a work in progress. Everyone we run into asks how is the house coming along and we smile and say good. Oh but we are itching decorate!!! We've never been able to really decorate and now we get to. We can't wait!
I was smacked the last couple weeks though that my dire desire to "personalize" right now, in this second, is my desire to receive as the world gives. A put together house and all that comes with that for some that get to move right into a new house and take it apart and put it perfectly back together in the short timeframe we have lived here. God told me he doesn't give as the world gives which made me realize maybe we aren't to start decorating just yet but when God says yes. He gave us this house, which we still sit in awe of daily, but we have to remember to sit in the moment he is teaching us through. The time will come we can accessorize and paint. It will be an awesome moment, but the lesson of it can't all happen in one full swing is going to be a hard lesson to learn because both my husband and I are wanting to do one room fully at one time. All of it. All the painting, all of the accents, and just a complete room all at once. God is teaching it won't happen that way. And that's okay. There will be a reward for the patience I know it, but it's going to be a hard lesson. And in the process I'm thankful I am at least allowed to log ideas into Evernote for when God says,"It is time."
Is there something you are longing for in full to happen yesterday but God is saying,"Just wait it's only going to be pieced together, and in MY time at that!" And you are wanting all the pieces to put it all together right now... in full... at once!?
You aren't alone but I can assure you that the reward of fully accomplishing the journey laid out in front of us will be amazing. Hitting all of the points God says to will be so rewarding in the end as we look at the finished masterpiece!!
I can't wait to see what the master decorator has in mind. I just need to keep my eyes from being envious of someone else's journey and love the journey I am on right now... individually. Respectfully as awesome as the next... just mine, and I know that God has me right where I am to be because there is a lesson to prosper me in this waiting... in the gathering of each piece... in his time... to finish each room. There is a reason I am to look at each individual piece and the journey it's taken to gather each one vs just slapping the full picture up at once and seeing it then. I wouldn't appreciate each room if that was the case. I know I wouldn't.
In our house projects!
Spring is coming. It's been 4 months since we have moved into our first home. We are beyond itching to start the projects. We are busy trying to get our house projects envelope to catch up with our desire to start making the inside personal, but where to start!?
Oh the ideas let me tell you what!!
2 weeks ago we hogged Home Depot's Behr's paint selection machine and picked colors for every room for a good hour. No joke. It was so fun!The entryway, the school room, the whole house!! The first room we are going to paint will be our daughter's room. We already have same splotches up on the wall and we are pretty sure she has settled on a color. We just need to pick up which gallon finish we want and start taping off and moving everything out of the way. Painting her dresser, her bed, and walls are the first on the agenda.
Her walls top to bottom will be this color... White baseboards and a white chair rail are in her room already.
Tree bark drawn in this color
Blossoms on the tree in this color
And her dresser and bed distressed in this color
I was smacked the last couple weeks though that my dire desire to "personalize" right now, in this second, is my desire to receive as the world gives. A put together house and all that comes with that for some that get to move right into a new house and take it apart and put it perfectly back together in the short timeframe we have lived here. God told me he doesn't give as the world gives which made me realize maybe we aren't to start decorating just yet but when God says yes. He gave us this house, which we still sit in awe of daily, but we have to remember to sit in the moment he is teaching us through. The time will come we can accessorize and paint. It will be an awesome moment, but the lesson of it can't all happen in one full swing is going to be a hard lesson to learn because both my husband and I are wanting to do one room fully at one time. All of it. All the painting, all of the accents, and just a complete room all at once. God is teaching it won't happen that way. And that's okay. There will be a reward for the patience I know it, but it's going to be a hard lesson. And in the process I'm thankful I am at least allowed to log ideas into Evernote for when God says,"It is time."
Is there something you are longing for in full to happen yesterday but God is saying,"Just wait it's only going to be pieced together, and in MY time at that!" And you are wanting all the pieces to put it all together right now... in full... at once!?
You aren't alone but I can assure you that the reward of fully accomplishing the journey laid out in front of us will be amazing. Hitting all of the points God says to will be so rewarding in the end as we look at the finished masterpiece!!
I can't wait to see what the master decorator has in mind. I just need to keep my eyes from being envious of someone else's journey and love the journey I am on right now... individually. Respectfully as awesome as the next... just mine, and I know that God has me right where I am to be because there is a lesson to prosper me in this waiting... in the gathering of each piece... in his time... to finish each room. There is a reason I am to look at each individual piece and the journey it's taken to gather each one vs just slapping the full picture up at once and seeing it then. I wouldn't appreciate each room if that was the case. I know I wouldn't.
Monday, January 14, 2013
In the heart of talking about change...
One area I'd love to change is to be a better mother.
Sure I homeschool, am home all day and night with my kids, feed them, pray with them, and nurture them, but let's be transparent here... There are many snuggles I brush off or use a tone/words I wish they had never heard in their lives. There are frankly days I ask God why are we homeschooling? Why am I a stay at home mom? Why have you chosen me for these precious children? They deserve better. What exactly are we shielding them from here?
That hurts to admit but I'd be lying if I didn't fully say it's true.
Do you have days or thoughts like that!?
It's a daily struggle I think for me to be 100% aware and present with my actions and words to really be the parent God has called me to be. I fail at it though... daily. I fear all the time what kind of memories will these kids carry with them of me and their childhood. Of course there are happy moments don't get me wrong but I think you understand what I am meaning here.
Parenting is hard.
There is a TON they don't mention to you about parenting. Homeschooling is hard. That you hear all the time and it isn't a lie. Throw them together and there are many days that the yesterday's have blown up so bad that I'd rather stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my eyes ignoring the dawning day.
"There is no way I can correct my mess ups from yesterday. Today can't happen then. I'll just make it worse."
Thankfully there is grace from God and my children but still it is a nagging failure that eats at me daily.
Our church is doing a fast together for 21 days starting January 13th and motherhood definitely plans to be a good focus of my prayer time. Which I guess brings me to part of my point... Sarah Mae's new book is out and I so desperately, no pun intended, want to read it. A dear friend sent me a flyer from the book and it was perfect for me. Do you plan on reading the book? I definitely feel God drawing me to this book since I first read Sarah was writing it with Sally. Must hit the bookstore asap.
My other point????
I want to put the real me out there.
To maybe know I am not alone or to assure you that you aren't alone. To know I am not the only one to say, "I just can't be mom today." Life is messy here and not all perfect schedules, followed meal plans, laundry caught up, and all niceties everyday.
Far from it honestly.
Don't open the laundry room door the pile may fall on you. There are currently dishes that are begging to be in my dishwasher, and my to fold pile... yea I am still hoping it folds itself. My thoughts on motherhood though are taking precedence while my children are currently all playing together in the other room. No sense in ruining the wonderful moment of them all playing the same thing without arguing. Right? Just to do the dishes? I thought not too.
I don't feel like I have succeeded at shaping these little hearts and minds like I am meant to. Not that I want to dwell on the negative parts of my last 9 years of being a parent but I don't want the realness of where I am at to be lost in some of the other things I post. Pictures. Words. Anything. I struggle at being a mom. I have thoughts with God asking, "Why am I called to do this when I feel like I am failing at it?" I scream out loud and in pillows and sadly sometimes at the kids. I hide in the other room when I have royally messed up. I ask my children's forgiveness for my behavior all the time. I am resolving this year will be the turning point and that the good out weighs the bad and that I will finally be more of the mother God wants me to be.
I also need to remember that the moments after the flawless looking picture or very all together happy looking children statuses are posted things could fall apart. That not everyone has it together and I shouldn't add extra guilt onto myself for someone else appearing to have "it all together" while I am falling apart. Sadly, that happens all too often since the boom of technology. The longing to have it all together like so and so. We don't really know what is happening on the other side of their screens.
I need to hold on to the fact that I am in my own mess. One God wants to shape me in to be more of the mom he has called me to be. I need to remember that he will pull me out of this season. Dry land will appear one day and I will be grateful for what I have learned. In his time. I need to remember he knew I would have days like this and yet he still kept them written in my script. Crazy how just even writing these words down God has evolved my heart into acceptance and growth and not beating myself up over it. I still fail. I know. I will still struggle but there is hope. I just pray my children remember and relish on the good and not the crazed, lost her temper too many times in a day, screaming mom who has felt she has failed and doesn't know how to correct it moments. I pray they see the growth and see who I am seeking for that growth so when the time comes that these moments invade their households they will know who to turn to as well.
I am going to join the movement. I am going to resolve in knowing I am not alone and will be working with God to change those days. Paddling toward dry land.
Sure I homeschool, am home all day and night with my kids, feed them, pray with them, and nurture them, but let's be transparent here... There are many snuggles I brush off or use a tone/words I wish they had never heard in their lives. There are frankly days I ask God why are we homeschooling? Why am I a stay at home mom? Why have you chosen me for these precious children? They deserve better. What exactly are we shielding them from here?
That hurts to admit but I'd be lying if I didn't fully say it's true.
Do you have days or thoughts like that!?
It's a daily struggle I think for me to be 100% aware and present with my actions and words to really be the parent God has called me to be. I fail at it though... daily. I fear all the time what kind of memories will these kids carry with them of me and their childhood. Of course there are happy moments don't get me wrong but I think you understand what I am meaning here.
Parenting is hard.
There is a TON they don't mention to you about parenting. Homeschooling is hard. That you hear all the time and it isn't a lie. Throw them together and there are many days that the yesterday's have blown up so bad that I'd rather stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my eyes ignoring the dawning day.
"There is no way I can correct my mess ups from yesterday. Today can't happen then. I'll just make it worse."
Thankfully there is grace from God and my children but still it is a nagging failure that eats at me daily.
Our church is doing a fast together for 21 days starting January 13th and motherhood definitely plans to be a good focus of my prayer time. Which I guess brings me to part of my point... Sarah Mae's new book is out and I so desperately, no pun intended, want to read it. A dear friend sent me a flyer from the book and it was perfect for me. Do you plan on reading the book? I definitely feel God drawing me to this book since I first read Sarah was writing it with Sally. Must hit the bookstore asap.
My other point????
I want to put the real me out there.
To maybe know I am not alone or to assure you that you aren't alone. To know I am not the only one to say, "I just can't be mom today." Life is messy here and not all perfect schedules, followed meal plans, laundry caught up, and all niceties everyday.
Far from it honestly.
Don't open the laundry room door the pile may fall on you. There are currently dishes that are begging to be in my dishwasher, and my to fold pile... yea I am still hoping it folds itself. My thoughts on motherhood though are taking precedence while my children are currently all playing together in the other room. No sense in ruining the wonderful moment of them all playing the same thing without arguing. Right? Just to do the dishes? I thought not too.
I want and need to be a better wife and mom.
I want and need to really work on being who God wants me to be inside these walls as well as out.
I want and need to search God daily to overcome the bad that comes into my parenting.
I don't feel like I have succeeded at shaping these little hearts and minds like I am meant to. Not that I want to dwell on the negative parts of my last 9 years of being a parent but I don't want the realness of where I am at to be lost in some of the other things I post. Pictures. Words. Anything. I struggle at being a mom. I have thoughts with God asking, "Why am I called to do this when I feel like I am failing at it?" I scream out loud and in pillows and sadly sometimes at the kids. I hide in the other room when I have royally messed up. I ask my children's forgiveness for my behavior all the time. I am resolving this year will be the turning point and that the good out weighs the bad and that I will finally be more of the mother God wants me to be.
I also need to remember that the moments after the flawless looking picture or very all together happy looking children statuses are posted things could fall apart. That not everyone has it together and I shouldn't add extra guilt onto myself for someone else appearing to have "it all together" while I am falling apart. Sadly, that happens all too often since the boom of technology. The longing to have it all together like so and so. We don't really know what is happening on the other side of their screens.
I need to hold on to the fact that I am in my own mess. One God wants to shape me in to be more of the mom he has called me to be. I need to remember that he will pull me out of this season. Dry land will appear one day and I will be grateful for what I have learned. In his time. I need to remember he knew I would have days like this and yet he still kept them written in my script. Crazy how just even writing these words down God has evolved my heart into acceptance and growth and not beating myself up over it. I still fail. I know. I will still struggle but there is hope. I just pray my children remember and relish on the good and not the crazed, lost her temper too many times in a day, screaming mom who has felt she has failed and doesn't know how to correct it moments. I pray they see the growth and see who I am seeking for that growth so when the time comes that these moments invade their households they will know who to turn to as well.
I am going to join the movement. I am going to resolve in knowing I am not alone and will be working with God to change those days. Paddling toward dry land.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
When I want to pull back... God says jump farther...
I was talking to a dear friend about some of the changes that are coming for us in this new month of 2013. The walking away from one activity to trying a new one. From thinking we were to step back from some of the "jumping in" at church we did in the last year to even more jumping.
It's funny how in the tiniest of comments, "so much for stepping back huh?" you are reminded God's thoughts are better than our own.
2012 was full of so many firsts for us.
- A step into an entirely new career for my husband. After 12+ years of one the prospect of a new one was scary and exciting at the same time.
- Buying our first house.
- A sport for our daughter
- Jumping in with serving and apprentice leading in ministries at church. We have never done that before. We've always come in, been feed, and walked out. Talk about stepping out of our comfort zone.
The time was a huge thing this year. We felt we never had any and seriously thought we had bitten off way more than we could chew. In some ways we totally did. What's sad is we thought the solution was to cut out the church stuff. Isn't that how it always is!?
So wrong.
We have been brought back to the Father's feet a thousand times over asking forgiveness for thinking we needed to cut back on the wrong area. He has forgiven us so much so that he actually keeps bringing us more ministry opportunities. We are very excited about them!
Upon realization God was calling us to actually purchase this house and move 20+ miles away from things we prayed about what that meant for the said items above. Was this move meaning we were to stop it all? Some? None? Oh the questions. In that we asked our daughter to pray about the sport she was involved in as well. Seeing as we only have one vehicle currently we needed her to pray about a.) continuing with that team and schedule, b.) continuing with that sport only a new team in our new town, or c.) something completely different. She came back to us last week saying she actually wanted to take the entire spring off to pursue family road trips and exploring like we used to do back home, as well as a new hobby. "I have a feeling God has something in store for us." ...were her exact words.
Have I mentioned how much my 9 year old blows my mind and faith daily!? She is amazing!
So that is exactly what we will be doing with her this spring. She will be taking a class today actually for the new hobby she wants to pursue... archery, and we will be praying about what God has in store for us. For what he wants us to do this spring.
We're excited about that too.
I guess the point of this post is God is yet again showing me how his plans are better than mine. Cutting back isn't exactly what he is asking us to and in the words of my 9 yr old... He has something in store for us. 2012 he blew us away. I can't imagine what 2013 has in store. I'm excited we have the opportunities further in ministry and how excited the kids are about them too.
When life gets crazy for you what do you do about cutting back? Does God keep pushing to keep jumping in instead?
He has definitely push and stretched us farther than we thought we could go... Gotta love his wild ride.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Back to Reality...
The last week has great. Totally able to ignore reality and just... be. It hasn't been without it's heart/faith lessons. I'm thankful that God chose this week for my husband to be home so when I feel weak he was there to build me back up and to reassure what my heart is in the right place. I love that he is my rock like that. Every time I write to God in my journal or post what God is teaching me Satan sees it and attacks harder. Seeing how tough and faithful I really am.
Can't wait to defeat him!
I'm so sad that today is Monday and reality and real work starts back up. We don't want Daddy to go back to work.
Last week I started working on our monthly meal plan. I am hoping this will help those trips that I haven't gotten to making a list and we have to hit the store. It will at least then give us a guideline to buy to make meals. I will post them on here. Hopefully before the end of the month to help keep me accountable too, and help give ideas to you if you are needing some. *wink*
Here is our January meal list. (I'd have put it up here as a PDF but every way I tried it didn't work. So here it is a PNG file instead. sorry) This month our Small Group starts back up and dinner/appetizer is available. So I'm not planning a big dinner to make at home. Just keeping it a simple meal. :) (I can't figure out how to link the meals in the pdf let alone the png now... so if you are interested in seeing the recipes for any of the mentioned meals just email me and I'd be happy to get them for you.) :)
I am also working on writing up a reading study to do for the book Sounder. I'm really excited about it and I think it's going to turn out a lot of fun for my 4th grader. :) What else is new... Oh yes my Bill Binder. Still working on that post. Must find time to sit and finish it but it's currently time to go get dinner started so I guess I better get going.
I'm excited for this new year.
This new season.
Just this moment in time.
Just grateful.
Can't wait to defeat him!
I'm so sad that today is Monday and reality and real work starts back up. We don't want Daddy to go back to work.
Last week I started working on our monthly meal plan. I am hoping this will help those trips that I haven't gotten to making a list and we have to hit the store. It will at least then give us a guideline to buy to make meals. I will post them on here. Hopefully before the end of the month to help keep me accountable too, and help give ideas to you if you are needing some. *wink*
Here is our January meal list. (I'd have put it up here as a PDF but every way I tried it didn't work. So here it is a PNG file instead. sorry) This month our Small Group starts back up and dinner/appetizer is available. So I'm not planning a big dinner to make at home. Just keeping it a simple meal. :) (I can't figure out how to link the meals in the pdf let alone the png now... so if you are interested in seeing the recipes for any of the mentioned meals just email me and I'd be happy to get them for you.) :)
School went well today considering it's been a little to no school work environment for the last month. It was nice to get back into the swing of things but I definitely need to work on our schedule more. I'm excited too that we are adding a new Science to our school year. Our Geology study was not working for us so we went back to Apologia like our daughter had asked for at the beginning of the year. Gotta love the faithful deeply loved curriculum. :) Swimming Creatures here we come! :) We may come back to the geology study at some point but right now we are going to enjoy switching back to Apologia.
Have you made any mid-school year changes as well?
I am also working on writing up a reading study to do for the book Sounder. I'm really excited about it and I think it's going to turn out a lot of fun for my 4th grader. :) What else is new... Oh yes my Bill Binder. Still working on that post. Must find time to sit and finish it but it's currently time to go get dinner started so I guess I better get going.
I'm excited for this new year.
This new season.
Just this moment in time.
Just grateful.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Be Still My Heart... The Script Writer is Working...
Oh my mind.
It's spinning circles this morning.
Not sure it's really headed in one direction or the other, or just looking back and forward of all that is... my script.
My marriage.
My family.
Our Homeschooling.
The season of life that we are in.
All of it.
Looking back it's been such an unbelievable ride. If you told me all those years ago that I would be where I am today I would not have believed you. The script then didn't appear at all to be leading to scenes that are now unfolding for our audience. I love the way the story is unfolding. Predictable parts. Tears. Laughter. Climaxes and rollercoasters. Love. Anger. All the parts of a good story... written by the best author and screenplay writer around.
God.
How blessed is that!?
Money can't pay for that awesomeness.
His Son's blood did.
I am so blessed.
Unworthy and yet here I am.
It's that time of year to where everyone RE's everything in their lives. You know re-evaluates, re-dos, reschedules... you get the point. They RE... everything. The fresh starts come every morning yet we always long for RE's at the beginnings of months and years. Since both are so fast approaching, and I am human after all, my RE word is jotting ideas down on paper seeking God what RE do I (we) need to apply in this coming season.
What changes to my script need to take place, be added to, tweaked, or relished more of.
More time with my husband.
That is a big one that needs to take place.
Just us.
More time away from the phone and computer. Soaking up all that my kids are and love right now, in this moment, that is them.
More freedom away from the scrutiny of the lesson plan telling us what to learn that day.
Or the textbook saying how.
Pursuing the new desires of my children.
More breaks for dancing in the living room and laughing till our sides hurt.
More moments to through out the calendar and just dive into an adventure.
More yes' to the next steps God has called us to pursue in his Kingdom.
Sounds crazy simple doesn't it? Yet it always ends up so black and white. It has to be this way or no way. That isn't really how it has to be though. There is room to do it all like that. If we make effort to do so.
We've been praying about our homeschool. The craziness of the last year and years beforehand has not exactly provided the vision we thought our homeschooling time would look like. We've been praying about what next or how next. I keep hearing... "you are not yet done, my daughter." That scares me and excites me at the same time. Any homeschooling momma I think can fully appreciate that honesty.
Scared:
What does that look like for us?
Excited:
What does that look like for us?
These past 2 light schoolwork weeks has been rejuvenating for the soul. It's allowed that quiet time with God asking and the listening my heartstrings have asked for... yet I need more. Long for more and my listening ear knows there is more. Awesome homeschooling time awaits us around the bend.
Topics and talks.
Exploring and growth.
Stepping away from the schedule and lesson plan and not freaking out if it isn't all complete.
Looking at the time... the irreplaceable time... that was spent growing with my kids.
That is far more important than being on the right lesson number coordinating with the date on the calendar.
Lots to still ask, listen, and respond to.
So much God is preparing our hearts for. Next steps and new adventures in this life of ours. There is more new on the horizon. No light or sign but it's one of those moments where you feel a change in the scene coming. Although, as any good writer does, he leaves the audience clinging to their seats with baited breath for that moment. The best part is this writer calls for his audience to be clinging to his feet with baited breath from his next soft spoken word to warm their soul and direct them to their next scene vs just their seats. Yet both require being still and full attention on him.
We are clinging to him. Anxiously awaiting all he wants to reveal.
The story isn't over. There is no ending as the year is drawing to a close. This is just the beginning and not because the "new" is weeks away but because this just happens to be the best part of the book. Where you feel you are really getting cozy into the story... that is your life.
Song of my soul... One of the many...
I'm tired, do I have to keep proving myself
I'm weary and drawing from an empty well
I need You more than I ever have
So Jesus come and shatter my darkness somehow
I won't speak until You speak
I won't move until You move me
I won't sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes
I'm restless for something significant
But I'm helpless cause I've done all I can
I want You more than I ever have
So Jesus come and hold me, I'm shaking right now
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
I won't speak until You speak
I won't move until You move me
I won't sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes
You are the Comforter so comfort me
You're the Sustainer so be enough for me
You are my Father and Your love for me
Is where I find my rest
I won't speak until You speak
I won't move until You move me
I won't sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes
Friday, November 30, 2012
Christmas is coming!!
Can you believe we are one day away from the last month of the year!? Where has 2012 gone?
Everyone is working on their lists and checking them twice my mind is on what I haven't accomplished yet that I wanted to, and on next year. Still working on the asking, listening, and responding. The daunting amount of life I know that is coming weighs me down. I don't want it to though. I have to remind myself that God isn't giving me more than I can handle.
With that being said... hello Christmas season!
I have though, accomplished quite a bit. Grandparents gifts are done and on their way to me. We made the kids no-sew blankets as an early Christmas present to enjoy all season. I only have the tiniest bit left to get for my nephew and his gifts are done. The trees are up (not decorated). One batch of my grandma's Pfeffernusse cookies have already been made. At least 2 more batches to go. It's not Christmas without them. We attempted taking our own family pictures with not a ton of success. And that's about it for so far... ;-)
(pardon the phone pics quality)
We have a ton planned to try and do this month though. Last year we didn't do anything so we are looking forward to all of the ideas. This weekend is jam packed! Starting today... We are finishing up our week of school work, making peppermint bark and a start to our Christmas cookies baking session and hopefully getting to making some ornaments for the tree tomorrow. Oh and I need to write out our advent calendar for tomorrow! Tonight we are going to a light parade that our neighbors dogs are in. The kids love Lukey and Laney and can't wait to see them walk the parade. They also heard that these 2 adorable doggies have a direct line to the "big guy" and are super excited about that. Tomorrow... We are decorating the Christmas trees, putting Christmas lights up on the house for the first time ever (I'm not sure who is more excited... my husband or the kids *wink*), taking another stab at family pictures around the pond in the our neighborhood, and going to a town tree lighting. Sunday... We have church and small group.
Nap time yet!? heehee
Can not wait to start a whole string of new traditions this month.
We were scheduling the entire month of December off from school but with the move that isn't going to be able to happen. Although it's nice to know that we have some wiggle room to catch up the little we need to. The kids aren't to excited about it (OK only my oldest isn't) but I promised them it won't be a huge workload. Are you schooling over the month of December?
Anyway, Christmas is about to get into full swing here and we couldn't be more excited. Our 3 year old has hit the age he really starts to enjoy it, and our other 2 are chomping at the bit for Christmas to fly in. I love this time of year and the reason for this season.
Merry Christmas, Everyone! Can't wait to see God brings into this time of year!
With that this picture below is an oil pastel my daughter made the other night thanks to HodgePodge's free tutorials. If you follow me on Instagram you've seen this already but I had to share again. So proud of her and her love of art!
She combined 2 tutorials into one...
The fireplace
The Christmas Tree
There are more wonderful free tutorials if you or your child would love some fun (FREE) art ideas.
I'd love to hear what you are planning this Christmas season... :) Wanna share?
Everyone is working on their lists and checking them twice my mind is on what I haven't accomplished yet that I wanted to, and on next year. Still working on the asking, listening, and responding. The daunting amount of life I know that is coming weighs me down. I don't want it to though. I have to remind myself that God isn't giving me more than I can handle.
With that being said... hello Christmas season!
I have though, accomplished quite a bit. Grandparents gifts are done and on their way to me. We made the kids no-sew blankets as an early Christmas present to enjoy all season. I only have the tiniest bit left to get for my nephew and his gifts are done. The trees are up (not decorated). One batch of my grandma's Pfeffernusse cookies have already been made. At least 2 more batches to go. It's not Christmas without them. We attempted taking our own family pictures with not a ton of success. And that's about it for so far... ;-)
(pardon the phone pics quality)
We have a ton planned to try and do this month though. Last year we didn't do anything so we are looking forward to all of the ideas. This weekend is jam packed! Starting today... We are finishing up our week of school work, making peppermint bark and a start to our Christmas cookies baking session and hopefully getting to making some ornaments for the tree tomorrow. Oh and I need to write out our advent calendar for tomorrow! Tonight we are going to a light parade that our neighbors dogs are in. The kids love Lukey and Laney and can't wait to see them walk the parade. They also heard that these 2 adorable doggies have a direct line to the "big guy" and are super excited about that. Tomorrow... We are decorating the Christmas trees, putting Christmas lights up on the house for the first time ever (I'm not sure who is more excited... my husband or the kids *wink*), taking another stab at family pictures around the pond in the our neighborhood, and going to a town tree lighting. Sunday... We have church and small group.
Nap time yet!? heehee
Can not wait to start a whole string of new traditions this month.
We were scheduling the entire month of December off from school but with the move that isn't going to be able to happen. Although it's nice to know that we have some wiggle room to catch up the little we need to. The kids aren't to excited about it (OK only my oldest isn't) but I promised them it won't be a huge workload. Are you schooling over the month of December?
Anyway, Christmas is about to get into full swing here and we couldn't be more excited. Our 3 year old has hit the age he really starts to enjoy it, and our other 2 are chomping at the bit for Christmas to fly in. I love this time of year and the reason for this season.
Merry Christmas, Everyone! Can't wait to see God brings into this time of year!
With that this picture below is an oil pastel my daughter made the other night thanks to HodgePodge's free tutorials. If you follow me on Instagram you've seen this already but I had to share again. So proud of her and her love of art!
She combined 2 tutorials into one...
The fireplace
The Christmas Tree
There are more wonderful free tutorials if you or your child would love some fun (FREE) art ideas.
I'd love to hear what you are planning this Christmas season... :) Wanna share?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Ask, Listen, and Respond
The wonderful 3 words that God has showered our church body with over the course of this year. The 3 simple steps we make so complex at times. I've learned that we are to always be seeking our next steps with Christ no matter how fresh the latest step is.
Two weeks off of just moving everything in and thankfully the craziness is dying down. For a month or so. Never seems to fail that it isn't for very long. We have entered the phase of needing to ask, listen, and respond once again. The broad umbrella of all this entails is big but it's the little things I need the most help identifying. I've come to learn to not ask for the big umbrella but to name each individual little part so it makes me release it into God's control. It forces me to say it out allowed and relinquishing my responsibility to figure it out alone. It seems so whiny and long at times but in reality isn't that exactly all God asks of us? To come to him with every.single.detail?
I feel dull in a sense and need a recharge. I need to use my time daily to ask and seek what we are to do in this next semester and season of life. I can't do that though if I'm always saying yes before praying to the things I am not supposed to. This year of yes' has been hard. Draining, if I am downright honest, and overwhelming at times. It's been life giving at times too but it's truthfully something we need to seek deeper on. As family because it is going to affect us all.
I read this morning Courtney saying she needs a recharge too. That she is in a season of No's. Her verse was dead on fitting for me too. I struggle with no though. Even as last night, our last Women's Bible study night of the semester, was wrapping up I felt myself alluding to a big yes that I'm not sure I'm supposed to do right now. I want to be a huge part of it so bad but am I supposed to? Right now? How?
I need this break time to dive in and to seeking like never before. I have a feeling my pen and prayer journal are going to be getting a lot more use.
The seeking is not a seeking for the upcoming resolution everyone will soon be all the buzz about but if I don't use this time to diligently recharge I'll end up saying yes and burning not only me but my family as well. I followed through this semester will all the commitments I said yes to. I won't lie I wanted to quit almost daily. It was a long season. I know God will provide the answer and means to continue if we are supposed to, but what if we aren't. I loathe saying no, especially to faces, even if they understand this may not be our season right now. I've been given permission if you will that "not right now" is OK, but what if that includes something for my children too? How will they take it?
See, I gotta let go and let God. I need to know if we are to continue with yes' or start with some "not right now." I need to let God work out of the details that would be needed for either. That is just the commitment part let alone the family needs that we are aware will be coming in the new year.
Ask
Listen
Respond
Three simple words that will change the course of our lives. If we are to continue with the yes' of the commitments we have been doing God will recharge me during this break. If we are to have more recharge well I know God will give us the strength to say "not right now." Not right now breaks my heart but the recharge and responding to the Lord's direction is more than trying to please everyone by saying yes.
I have to remember that.
In this season of thankfulness... I am thankful I have the ability to have that choice to be able to pray, seek, respond, and the freedom to do so.
So here we go again... asking, listening, and responding to the next steps God is leading us towards... whatever that entails.
Is there anything you need to ask, listen, and respond for?
Monday, November 19, 2012
What a difference a year makes
In the last 5 days I have been trying to write this post 3 different times. My drafts list is looming. I should probably work on hitting publish this time huh?
One year!? Can you believe it!?
It was one year ago today that we started off hitting the road towards our new state. ONE YEAR!? Seriously!? It honestly feels like yesterday. So very much has happened in a year's time frame. We left the one state we had lived outside of the state our family lives. We left the one state where we found God and ourselves and what our marriage really is. We left behind friends that became family and our children's first real friends. We left a place that became home to us on so many levels to again branch out, following God's lead this time, to another new state.
Let me the tell you the ride has been wild! Through all the ups and downs of this entire year God has been every present and it's been amazing sitting over here in the passenger seat while he effortlessly stirs the car his way.
We experienced so many firsts this year too. We have been sitting around just in awe of it all. The good and the bad. The rough start the trip started off as to where we are today. It is so night and day I tell ya. Kind of reminds me of this dog we saw as we started our trip last year. Although I can sure you God does not drive as crazy of the woman behind the wheel here. This poor dog kept looking over at us as we passed him like, "Please, help me. Now!!" I look at this picture though and see myself looking through the window as this last year passed by. What did I miss as I was looking for others to help? What did we love (or even not love at the time but do now) about it all we saw/experienced when I turn forward to watch what God was reveal out the front window?
The process alone has been amazing. The steps and faith building road this year as been for us will be one that we never forget when we are old and grey(ier). The splendor of the King and all that he has done and is doing for us has lead us to a year we are so incredibly grateful for. This Thanksgiving season that alone sums it up. We are warm, healthy, stronger, and safe in the arms of our Father, wrapped in His Will seeking the next steps he wants us to take. The road winds and bends but we are excited about the Lord has in store for us in the next year to come.
I am extra thankful though for the fact that while I may still be maneuvering around boxes for 2nd Thanksgiving in a row, this year I won't be unloading a trailer the day before and we can cook the meal ourselves in our own place. Although I will miss seeing my best friend this year. We got to eat with them last year. It was the first time we had seen each other in years! Miles and life may separate us once again but I love her to pieces and treasure the time we had. :)
So as today continues I am going to be so thankful for the room to stretch and not being cramped in a car for miles and miles, but more importantly I am going to be thanking God for the most mind blowing year he has ever given to us!
What a difference a year makes...
One year!? Can you believe it!?
It was one year ago today that we started off hitting the road towards our new state. ONE YEAR!? Seriously!? It honestly feels like yesterday. So very much has happened in a year's time frame. We left the one state we had lived outside of the state our family lives. We left the one state where we found God and ourselves and what our marriage really is. We left behind friends that became family and our children's first real friends. We left a place that became home to us on so many levels to again branch out, following God's lead this time, to another new state.
Let me the tell you the ride has been wild! Through all the ups and downs of this entire year God has been every present and it's been amazing sitting over here in the passenger seat while he effortlessly stirs the car his way.
We experienced so many firsts this year too. We have been sitting around just in awe of it all. The good and the bad. The rough start the trip started off as to where we are today. It is so night and day I tell ya. Kind of reminds me of this dog we saw as we started our trip last year. Although I can sure you God does not drive as crazy of the woman behind the wheel here. This poor dog kept looking over at us as we passed him like, "Please, help me. Now!!" I look at this picture though and see myself looking through the window as this last year passed by. What did I miss as I was looking for others to help? What did we love (or even not love at the time but do now) about it all we saw/experienced when I turn forward to watch what God was reveal out the front window?
The process alone has been amazing. The steps and faith building road this year as been for us will be one that we never forget when we are old and grey(ier). The splendor of the King and all that he has done and is doing for us has lead us to a year we are so incredibly grateful for. This Thanksgiving season that alone sums it up. We are warm, healthy, stronger, and safe in the arms of our Father, wrapped in His Will seeking the next steps he wants us to take. The road winds and bends but we are excited about the Lord has in store for us in the next year to come.
So as today continues I am going to be so thankful for the room to stretch and not being cramped in a car for miles and miles, but more importantly I am going to be thanking God for the most mind blowing year he has ever given to us!
What a difference a year makes...
Monday, November 12, 2012
God Knew What He Was Doing
Doesn't he always!?
This house. This city. Yep, even this state.
The people God has placed in our lives. The growth he has allowed. The inspiration that has found it's way back into my heart. All of it.
The simple things as natural light in the house. From every corner. To the detoxing drive to our new residence.
My husband and I were talking about even yesterday. The life that we felt in our hearts had left has sprung wings and is taking flight. Our souls renewed. Even as we trip over the maze of boxes that still plague many rooms. There is nothing on the walls yet but a singular sign. "Give us this day our daily bread." I really think that sums it all up for us. All we want is God's daily bread in our lives. He is breathing in every nook and cranny of these walls. The amazing spot he gave me for morning time with him. Oh just it all.
Even in the glory of one of our first homeowners projects.... changing the seals on the tank.
I pray that I don't lose this feeling. Humanly, I know it'll dull but I pray that I chase after it harder than before. Not just for me and my walk but for my family's walk as well.
It's a new day. A new normal begins today within these walls. God made this day and we will rejoice in it.
This house. This city. Yep, even this state.
The people God has placed in our lives. The growth he has allowed. The inspiration that has found it's way back into my heart. All of it.
The simple things as natural light in the house. From every corner. To the detoxing drive to our new residence.
My husband and I were talking about even yesterday. The life that we felt in our hearts had left has sprung wings and is taking flight. Our souls renewed. Even as we trip over the maze of boxes that still plague many rooms. There is nothing on the walls yet but a singular sign. "Give us this day our daily bread." I really think that sums it all up for us. All we want is God's daily bread in our lives. He is breathing in every nook and cranny of these walls. The amazing spot he gave me for morning time with him. Oh just it all.
Even in the glory of one of our first homeowners projects.... changing the seals on the tank.
I pray that I don't lose this feeling. Humanly, I know it'll dull but I pray that I chase after it harder than before. Not just for me and my walk but for my family's walk as well.
It's a new day. A new normal begins today within these walls. God made this day and we will rejoice in it.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
A House in His Name
I am writing this from my desktop that is currently sitting on the counter of our new house! No big furniture is in yet but that is all coming in today!! We spent the night here last night for the first time. It was perfect because last night was our weekly Family Movie Campout Night. It was awesome! So peaceful! Although I have to say hardwood floors vs carpet makes for an interesting night always chasing after your pillow. Ahhh but it was worth it.
No loud upstairs neighbors stomping on the floor at 11pm. No cars pulling into parking spots and shining their lights right into the living room. Peaceful.
Currently my husband is on his way to our apartment to load up all the big stuff with some friends from church and bring it over. I am on kid duty as they are still snoozing on the floor of the living room. We have already unpacked some things and it seriously feels like home. I can't wait for the final pieces to get here. Sounds mundane but I am looking forward to grocery shopping later too. I think its cause it's just all the pieces to the new here. Bringing it all together. That and it means I'll have an actual coffee cup again too. Storeroom, while nice and does the job, not the same taste. ;) First world problems I know.
I am so in awe of all that the Lord has done in the last couple months. If you would have asked me this time last year, as we were busily packing and saying our goodbyes back home that God would so loudly say this new state is your home. That he would be giving us a house of our own to own... I would have said, "Anything is possible with God, but I'm not sure that'll happen right now for us." Oh how his thoughts and ways are better than mine. I feel him in this place. I want to make sure I do all I can to not get lost in the worldly desires of owning this house but that God is placed at the top daily. I want to give him our best. He is the reason we are in this place at this time. It is nothing we did.
Oh the steps that lay ahead. I anxiously await them. I come ready to God's feet expecting him to do BIG things with my BIG faith!!
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed.”
Isaiah 55:9-13
God's beautiful sunset he gave me last night. Perfection.
No loud upstairs neighbors stomping on the floor at 11pm. No cars pulling into parking spots and shining their lights right into the living room. Peaceful.
Currently my husband is on his way to our apartment to load up all the big stuff with some friends from church and bring it over. I am on kid duty as they are still snoozing on the floor of the living room. We have already unpacked some things and it seriously feels like home. I can't wait for the final pieces to get here. Sounds mundane but I am looking forward to grocery shopping later too. I think its cause it's just all the pieces to the new here. Bringing it all together. That and it means I'll have an actual coffee cup again too. Storeroom, while nice and does the job, not the same taste. ;) First world problems I know.
I am so in awe of all that the Lord has done in the last couple months. If you would have asked me this time last year, as we were busily packing and saying our goodbyes back home that God would so loudly say this new state is your home. That he would be giving us a house of our own to own... I would have said, "Anything is possible with God, but I'm not sure that'll happen right now for us." Oh how his thoughts and ways are better than mine. I feel him in this place. I want to make sure I do all I can to not get lost in the worldly desires of owning this house but that God is placed at the top daily. I want to give him our best. He is the reason we are in this place at this time. It is nothing we did.
Oh the steps that lay ahead. I anxiously await them. I come ready to God's feet expecting him to do BIG things with my BIG faith!!
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed.”
Isaiah 55:9-13
God's beautiful sunset he gave me last night. Perfection.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Welcome Home
Today is back to reality. Our week long vacation back home is complete and bags still need to be unpacked.
While vacation is still fresh on my mind and we still have 2 glorious days left with no school on the books I am looking forward. There is a peace that came over us while we were back home. While we really want to move back we have the hugest sense of peace and comfort with where we are. We really miss all of our friends, that are more like family, we have realized what we miss the most was the scenery. In the big scheme of things not really what to be longing for huh? We are still in contact with the friends so the not "seeing" part is the scenery. That's what we miss. Does that make any sense at all? It's all jumbled in my head on how to explain too. Sorry. We had the pleasure of spending an entire day up in our old life. It literally felt as if we hadn't left. Of course that is outside of the showers of "WOW, the kids are so much taller!" "Oh I've missed you!" "Oh are you back!?" etc. We miss those faces but the love and support we felt from them spans the miles that separate us. The plus side... We get to spend forever together in Heaven so what's a few short years away?
Yep. Years.
In the past couple months God has been overwhelmingly awesome and loud that we will not be moving back home anytime soon. He solidified that for us 2 days after we were back there. He has lead us to a step that keeps us on these southern grounds a little while longer. We had to share this news back home and while it was warmly received and supported you could see the sadness. Once they heard all God has done in this decision we were showered with the same love and prayers we had when God was so loud about moving us here. God is working and we got to go home and sing of his praises that he hasn't stopped. Such an honor.
We learned in our short time home that distance won't change the friendships. That while we long for mountains and greenery God is faithful and it doesn't matter where we are as long as we are who he wants us to be. The peace and soul refreshing moments follow when we are in his will. Location doesn't matter. The friendships we have there... eternal.
Flying back into "home"... this new state and soon to be new city... it felt just that... home. The next couple years (or more, God only knows) of our family's memories are held on these streets. It's the first time ever in our 12 years together that we know without a doubt this is it. No continued longing or searching for where does God want us. This is it. This is where he wants us. Now, we plant more roots. Roots that don't have to do with a lease or a constant what are we doing in a year question. There is a lot of freedom in that. We are not sure God will ever move us back home. Home to the place we forced to move to in the first place may never be where he wants us again, but I am so grateful for the growth he allowed while we were there. Despite us taking over and making that move happen (because we wanted it and we turned it into God saying yes when he screamed no) he grew us and provided in ways we didn't deserve. The feel of this moment so different and so refreshing because there is no making it appear God is in this step. He is all over this step.
Do I still long or miss back home? I think I always will. It's where I met God. Like really met him. It's where he revealed to me I am so much stronger than I ever thought possible. It's where me was discovered. It will forever hold a special soft spot in my heart. The scenery... icing on the cake.
I look forward though with a sigh of relief. We are taking God's steps. This is home now and the timing of going back home and realizing we are where we are supposed to be is uncanny and really only God. It was at (I feel) a crucial time for us. It was reassuring and greatly appreciated... all the little things God used to show us that yes we are exactly where he wants us was mind blowing this last week.
So, our new journey continues to take its next steps. It continues to grow our faith to limits we never imagined but are so grateful for. The views outside our windows has changed, our friendships haven't, and our faith only stronger. Being in God's will and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that we are where we are supposed to be, truthfully the most free we have ever felt. God is so good. He is reassuring and as we look back at where we have been we look forward to where he is leading us too.
We are home.
We are following God's will for us no matter where we takes us and will sing about how healing that has been for us along the way.
Welcome Home.
While vacation is still fresh on my mind and we still have 2 glorious days left with no school on the books I am looking forward. There is a peace that came over us while we were back home. While we really want to move back we have the hugest sense of peace and comfort with where we are. We really miss all of our friends, that are more like family, we have realized what we miss the most was the scenery. In the big scheme of things not really what to be longing for huh? We are still in contact with the friends so the not "seeing" part is the scenery. That's what we miss. Does that make any sense at all? It's all jumbled in my head on how to explain too. Sorry. We had the pleasure of spending an entire day up in our old life. It literally felt as if we hadn't left. Of course that is outside of the showers of "WOW, the kids are so much taller!" "Oh I've missed you!" "Oh are you back!?" etc. We miss those faces but the love and support we felt from them spans the miles that separate us. The plus side... We get to spend forever together in Heaven so what's a few short years away?
Yep. Years.
In the past couple months God has been overwhelmingly awesome and loud that we will not be moving back home anytime soon. He solidified that for us 2 days after we were back there. He has lead us to a step that keeps us on these southern grounds a little while longer. We had to share this news back home and while it was warmly received and supported you could see the sadness. Once they heard all God has done in this decision we were showered with the same love and prayers we had when God was so loud about moving us here. God is working and we got to go home and sing of his praises that he hasn't stopped. Such an honor.
We learned in our short time home that distance won't change the friendships. That while we long for mountains and greenery God is faithful and it doesn't matter where we are as long as we are who he wants us to be. The peace and soul refreshing moments follow when we are in his will. Location doesn't matter. The friendships we have there... eternal.
Flying back into "home"... this new state and soon to be new city... it felt just that... home. The next couple years (or more, God only knows) of our family's memories are held on these streets. It's the first time ever in our 12 years together that we know without a doubt this is it. No continued longing or searching for where does God want us. This is it. This is where he wants us. Now, we plant more roots. Roots that don't have to do with a lease or a constant what are we doing in a year question. There is a lot of freedom in that. We are not sure God will ever move us back home. Home to the place we forced to move to in the first place may never be where he wants us again, but I am so grateful for the growth he allowed while we were there. Despite us taking over and making that move happen (because we wanted it and we turned it into God saying yes when he screamed no) he grew us and provided in ways we didn't deserve. The feel of this moment so different and so refreshing because there is no making it appear God is in this step. He is all over this step.
Do I still long or miss back home? I think I always will. It's where I met God. Like really met him. It's where he revealed to me I am so much stronger than I ever thought possible. It's where me was discovered. It will forever hold a special soft spot in my heart. The scenery... icing on the cake.
I look forward though with a sigh of relief. We are taking God's steps. This is home now and the timing of going back home and realizing we are where we are supposed to be is uncanny and really only God. It was at (I feel) a crucial time for us. It was reassuring and greatly appreciated... all the little things God used to show us that yes we are exactly where he wants us was mind blowing this last week.
So, our new journey continues to take its next steps. It continues to grow our faith to limits we never imagined but are so grateful for. The views outside our windows has changed, our friendships haven't, and our faith only stronger. Being in God's will and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that we are where we are supposed to be, truthfully the most free we have ever felt. God is so good. He is reassuring and as we look back at where we have been we look forward to where he is leading us too.
We are home.
We are following God's will for us no matter where we takes us and will sing about how healing that has been for us along the way.
Welcome Home.
Monday, September 24, 2012
I want a NOTHING box!!!
Anyone know how to turn off the mind?
My mind is in overdrive and I pray there be an off switch appear like Staples easy button but so far I haven't seen a single one. I need one bad.
This weekend was CRAZY. Soooo busy! We had 3 softball games this last week, a get together with friends from church before a game Saturday, church Saturday, and Sunday accidentally slept in when we were supposed to be serving at church. Ooops! Yesterday, since we missed serving, took our daughter shopping for a dress she needs for a wedding she is apart of in a few short weeks. We then grocery shopped and the kids even jumped in the freezing pool! They are nuts I tell you!
All in all it was a great weekend even though nothing on the to-do list really got done. It'll get there. Maybe that will help my mind shut off. Maybe?! I'll try anything these days.
Thankfully this week wont be as crazy as last but I am thinking that won't help my head. Ugh... Must stay busy... Must stay busy...
Heehee... I need a nothing box in my brain like my husband has. If you have seen/heard of Laugh your way to a better marriage you may understand that reference. If you haven't here is a clip for you. :)
Anyone else wish they had a nothing box!? Am I the only one that wants one?
My mind is in overdrive and I pray there be an off switch appear like Staples easy button but so far I haven't seen a single one. I need one bad.
This weekend was CRAZY. Soooo busy! We had 3 softball games this last week, a get together with friends from church before a game Saturday, church Saturday, and Sunday accidentally slept in when we were supposed to be serving at church. Ooops! Yesterday, since we missed serving, took our daughter shopping for a dress she needs for a wedding she is apart of in a few short weeks. We then grocery shopped and the kids even jumped in the freezing pool! They are nuts I tell you!
All in all it was a great weekend even though nothing on the to-do list really got done. It'll get there. Maybe that will help my mind shut off. Maybe?! I'll try anything these days.
Thankfully this week wont be as crazy as last but I am thinking that won't help my head. Ugh... Must stay busy... Must stay busy...
Heehee... I need a nothing box in my brain like my husband has. If you have seen/heard of Laugh your way to a better marriage you may understand that reference. If you haven't here is a clip for you. :)
Anyone else wish they had a nothing box!? Am I the only one that wants one?
Friday, September 21, 2012
Homemade... Lil Suzie Homemaker
My daughter especially keeps asking to cook and help make anything and everything, and with our budget being so crazy tight lately the pull for more made at home food and kitchen staples is pulling hard on my heart strings. Besides homemaking class... totally homeschool! I'd love to get to where all of the items rolling around in my head become second nature to make in our household. That everyone takes part and has pride in making the food themselves. On top of the skill my daughter and boys can carry into their homes someday.
What have I made so far???
Currently, due to space and excuses (I'm not going to lie), we only make bread occasionally. I made coffee creamer this week. Personally... love it! Way affordable too! We make our own laundry detergent. I tried making dishwasher soap but truthfully it's still under my sink. It didn't work well for us at all. My daughter has been begging to make jam. We've made granola, granola bars, fruit snacks, ice cream, yogurt, tortillas, of course meals, muffin tin corndogs (new huge fav here), and I'm sure I am missing other ones.
Sadly, some I don't stick with for no reason at all but I want to. Really bad. I want it to be second nature.
Making kitchen staples aren't hard to do at home. Just time consuming. I want to do it. We need to do it. Not for money reasons but because truthfully we long for the old fashioned way of life to be a way of life for us. I need to get over the mental part that the initial cost for some of it isn't much and will pay for itself 10 fold in the long run.
Do you make anything from scratch that has become the only way you have it at home any more? How do you schedule out the time to make it all? I'd love for you to spill your secrets. :)
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Seeking God in the why...
My mind is all over the place tonight. A great night at small group and doing life with great people God has placed in our paths. My heart though, right now, is wondering what God is working on. There is so much that feels we are needing to make this state home, and so much that breaks my heart we aren't to move back home right now.
My children are sad. We are sad. They haven't made any connections like that had back home. Church is so big that deep friendships, I feel, aren't going to happen like at our old smaller church. But we know without a doubt we are at the church God wants us to be. It's just hard sometimes. The kids in the small group ignore my middle son every week. He comes home sad every time. The girl connection isn't what my daughter would like. She misses the the deep connections she had back home too. It's hard because what we had back home was raw and rare. Treasured and longed for bad.
What do we do!?
It's not just church friends. Softball life too. This season doesn't feel like last season at all. We all feel it.
A dear friend from back home told me not long ago it's like we are in a mission field right now. Missionaries here to this new state for a time being and I've got to level with you... It's hard. Alligator tears from a 5 yr old begging to go home and that he misses his friend. That rips a momma's heart out!!
I'm thankful for the leaders and friends of our small group and the transparency God is giving all of us. It's healing for the soul. I know God is working towards his plan. I know he has asked us to jump into life when we moved, but as this new semester of life it taking shape there are some things I wish we hadn't agreed to. While we are prayerfully stepping into all we committed to we will be taking a closer look at all we say yes to for the next semester.
With all of it all I don't want to lose the family connection. Especially since we are all aching for home so bad. If we are to make this home for a while I pray the ache goes away and margin in our lives is created. I pray the voids we are feeling gets filled.
Life is fast here.
Life was slow at home.
We prefer slow. We flourish and bask in the serenity of slow.
How do we heal sadness and ache and longing for slow in a fast place???
I'd love to know.
God has called us here but for how long? Only he knows. God has called us to jump in but to all of this? Are we sure? Seeking him we will continue to do, but it's killing me the ache in all of our hearts. Some days are good. Some days are bad. I wonder sometimes if the turmoil inside is because we are doing something outside of God's will or a moment I've allowed my head to over analyze.
I want my kids and family to flourish in God's will. I know he won't bring us here to break us, but we are longing for peace and comfort and friendships like we left behind. Life that fits our family like we left behind. We miss it and need it...
My children are sad. We are sad. They haven't made any connections like that had back home. Church is so big that deep friendships, I feel, aren't going to happen like at our old smaller church. But we know without a doubt we are at the church God wants us to be. It's just hard sometimes. The kids in the small group ignore my middle son every week. He comes home sad every time. The girl connection isn't what my daughter would like. She misses the the deep connections she had back home too. It's hard because what we had back home was raw and rare. Treasured and longed for bad.
What do we do!?
It's not just church friends. Softball life too. This season doesn't feel like last season at all. We all feel it.
A dear friend from back home told me not long ago it's like we are in a mission field right now. Missionaries here to this new state for a time being and I've got to level with you... It's hard. Alligator tears from a 5 yr old begging to go home and that he misses his friend. That rips a momma's heart out!!
I'm thankful for the leaders and friends of our small group and the transparency God is giving all of us. It's healing for the soul. I know God is working towards his plan. I know he has asked us to jump into life when we moved, but as this new semester of life it taking shape there are some things I wish we hadn't agreed to. While we are prayerfully stepping into all we committed to we will be taking a closer look at all we say yes to for the next semester.
With all of it all I don't want to lose the family connection. Especially since we are all aching for home so bad. If we are to make this home for a while I pray the ache goes away and margin in our lives is created. I pray the voids we are feeling gets filled.
Life is fast here.
Life was slow at home.
We prefer slow. We flourish and bask in the serenity of slow.
How do we heal sadness and ache and longing for slow in a fast place???
I'd love to know.
God has called us here but for how long? Only he knows. God has called us to jump in but to all of this? Are we sure? Seeking him we will continue to do, but it's killing me the ache in all of our hearts. Some days are good. Some days are bad. I wonder sometimes if the turmoil inside is because we are doing something outside of God's will or a moment I've allowed my head to over analyze.
I want my kids and family to flourish in God's will. I know he won't bring us here to break us, but we are longing for peace and comfort and friendships like we left behind. Life that fits our family like we left behind. We miss it and need it...
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Time is Fleeting
I just laid down with my littlest guy for his nap. Just long enough for him to get comfy and go off to dreamland. For those that know me I rarely do this with him, but lately (since school started) I know he is feeling left out and is begging me to lay with him some at nap time. Today I couldn't resist his adorable eyes begging for "2 seconds please, mommy."
While I laid there listening to his soft breathes as he drifts off to sleep I noticed his little feet in his sweatpants without his shirt... a completely daily normal look he picks out. I got to thinking, as usual, how little amount of pictures I have taken in the last couple weeks and that he is my baby. My baby who is growing more and more into a little guy. 3 years old doesn't seems so little anymore with a 9 year old and 5 year old running around but it is. I treat him so much older most days but he is still just a little guy.
Last week I took a picture of my babes in new shoes standing neatly together. They grow so fast. Time needs to stand still. So many things whirling around. So many decisions each day seem to over ride the small things... Like little boy feet in sweatpants and shirtless arms. Those details matter me. They make him who he is to me. I don't want to miss these moments.
Time is fleeting and I want all the nap time snuggles I can get.
While I laid there listening to his soft breathes as he drifts off to sleep I noticed his little feet in his sweatpants without his shirt... a completely daily normal look he picks out. I got to thinking, as usual, how little amount of pictures I have taken in the last couple weeks and that he is my baby. My baby who is growing more and more into a little guy. 3 years old doesn't seems so little anymore with a 9 year old and 5 year old running around but it is. I treat him so much older most days but he is still just a little guy.
Last week I took a picture of my babes in new shoes standing neatly together. They grow so fast. Time needs to stand still. So many things whirling around. So many decisions each day seem to over ride the small things... Like little boy feet in sweatpants and shirtless arms. Those details matter me. They make him who he is to me. I don't want to miss these moments.
Time is fleeting and I want all the nap time snuggles I can get.
Just a bunch of sentences
Wow... It's been awhile. Words escape me at the moment. Life is slowly getting crazy again which means things feel like total disorder. No set schedule... busy with sports and life. Through it all though God has granted me the biggest amount of calm I've ever felt since moving. Which is awesome to me because I feel this is the biggest time in our lives since moving. There is a ton of awesome big things happening at church and we are so excited to be apart of it. A new season for our women's Bible study semester is week's away and I'm excited to see what all God will do there as well. Other than school feeling crazy off somedays we have successfully completed 4 total weeks of our new year and are enjoying 3 days in to week 5. Around these parts everyone started back to school this week. The hustle and bustle of all the kids preparing made me even more thankful that we started so early this year. The groove of that alone has been nice. However, due to lack of schedule and the dire need of one (and the beauty of inspiration from a friend back home), I have been working on a daily schedule for us. One for each day of the week so we can see the switches on practice/game nights. Responsibility lists are included and I am praying to change the heart of not being paid for chores and finding other creative ways for our children to earn money. I have always thought it not right to pay them to clean up around the house due to that being a life skill they won't be paid for later. We are tossing ideas around and of course Pinterest is helping too. *snicker* I'm praying these are the tools to bring back some of what we feel has been missing since moving.
All in all though things are going really well. Busy but well. In the days and weeks now since God brought light to where our perspective has been wrong about our new state the peace that transcends is indescribable. He is moving. We feel him. Even in the everyday. Honestly, in this situation it is a peace and unanxiousness feel I have never experienced before. I pray to not go backwards again. While I know humanly I will stumble but I pray not to the level I have been before. If that makes sense.
This verse found me the other day. It's timing in many areas in my life is wonderful. It's as if falling in love with Christ all over again. So grateful for his words and guidance.
I know a way more upbeat post then of late, but I think it really speaks to all of our scripts. The seasons he has us in are up and down sometimes. Lessons to learn and grow from. Walking through the valleys aren't as lighthearted as the peaks of the mountains we have been lead to the top of. This is a mountain peak season for us. The valleys never the same lows and could be just plateaus but I have learned to walk out of the overwhelming feeling of those seasons, of all different levels, and pray I cling to those lessons and steps to over come overwhelmed when it's ugly head sneaks back in.
My script is growing.
My faith is growing.
What he is equipping us for is growing.
The lesson of the true meaning of perspective lately... life changing.
All in all though things are going really well. Busy but well. In the days and weeks now since God brought light to where our perspective has been wrong about our new state the peace that transcends is indescribable. He is moving. We feel him. Even in the everyday. Honestly, in this situation it is a peace and unanxiousness feel I have never experienced before. I pray to not go backwards again. While I know humanly I will stumble but I pray not to the level I have been before. If that makes sense.
This verse found me the other day. It's timing in many areas in my life is wonderful. It's as if falling in love with Christ all over again. So grateful for his words and guidance.
But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:25
I know a way more upbeat post then of late, but I think it really speaks to all of our scripts. The seasons he has us in are up and down sometimes. Lessons to learn and grow from. Walking through the valleys aren't as lighthearted as the peaks of the mountains we have been lead to the top of. This is a mountain peak season for us. The valleys never the same lows and could be just plateaus but I have learned to walk out of the overwhelming feeling of those seasons, of all different levels, and pray I cling to those lessons and steps to over come overwhelmed when it's ugly head sneaks back in.
My script is growing.
My faith is growing.
What he is equipping us for is growing.
The lesson of the true meaning of perspective lately... life changing.
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