I had this told to me last night. While this is not how I perceived myself my husband did say there are time I like to point out faults in others rather than myself also that I'm a very blunt person and call it as I see it, and definitely could come across that way. This is not a trait I am proud of, nor do I want to keep so how do I correct my wrong doings?
This has had me thinking all night and day.
How can you work on communicating with others, while viewing life or situations differently, without either coming across as they are better than the other?
Each person has their own worldview and stance on how to approach life. When something is going on with either how does one not take friendly advice wrongly and in turn make the whole situation ugly and full of unneeded drama? I do not have the answer to this. My background has taught me how to put up walls and "hurt someone before they can hurt you" when you feel the tone towards you as being harsh or offensive. The last couple weeks though this is something I have asked God to reveal in my heart (guess last night he decided it was time to open my eyes) after our Pastor had an excellent sermon on that very topic. A powerful analogy he used to describe getting upset like that was...
"Work through the offense to stay unified with the Body of Christ. Get offended so the junk in YOUR own heart can be revealed and worked through. So you are more able to live like Christ."
The next day during my Beth Moore Bible Study she made a comment in the session we were in saying...
"Know when criticism fits and fix it, or when it doesn't and ignore it. Know who you are in Christ."
Right now the criticism from last night fits. I can see where both this person and my husband are coming from. I also know where in my life that response has been ingrained in me if you will. I by no means am making that an excuse but I am owning up to the offense and wanting to change it. I do.not.at.all.ever want to come across like that ever again. What is hard for me to formulate though is when in life you come across people who are not along your same frame of mind family wise, finances, religion, you name it and are asked for your opinion how do you share your worldview without seeming to come across like you are better?
I think in this situation last night we both realize that a conversation with advise stinks over text message. Straight up! You can not hear the tone the other person is meaning through text. You only hear the tones in your own head turning that sadly to be into whatever mood we may be in, in that moment. With that being said we are still accountable for our responses and that is where I most certainly failed yesterday and any other day for that matter.
I have a ton to work on within myself and my communication skills. I need to practice better with responses to friendly advice about whatever, even when I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I need to remember we each have gifts and talents that are being shared and to not cut off someone because it's not what I want to hear, or I am hearing it in the wrong tone and jumping to conclusions.
I never want to come off better than anyone else. I don't know how to formulate the words to explain the rest in my head. This stinks.
The bottom line is I have work to do. I have work to pray about and growth to be had so that I no longer seem to be putting myself above anyone else and doing everything in my power to love like Christ. To honor those with a grateful heart for their words and when asked for mine the only words that come out of my mouth are the ones with a heart like Christ.
I need to remember these verses from The Message Beth shared that night.
If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
1 comment:
God is good at what He does...forgiving sin, making something beautiful from rags, and giving new life to those who deserve to die. I have been told the same words you heard last night and they are not easy to hear, even when deserved. Only He can help us keep our tongues at bay.
Post a Comment