I know I sound like a gross, boring, back and forth, broken record these days but this is just a feeling I had just now... again... when looking at friends back home.
Have you ever felt where you lived before felt more inspiring than where you live now??????
That is question on my mind right now.
Maybe it is our vast busyness of not being able to explore like before. Maybe it is the lack of trees and mountains around to add to the mysteries of the land. i can't put my finger on it, but right now I am finding back home a ton more inspiring and invigorating than where we currently are. Yes, you have gone up and down with me this last week of missing and being angry about being here and then the realization of the potential why we are here. Now, though my soul is trying to find the inspiration of being here.
I am trying to feel as invigorated as I was back home. The thrill and excitement of each day out and about. All the doctor visits aren't helping but still. I feel so blah here. Is it because of being back in the heat and the desert of it all? Does my blood run cold, rain, and mountains? Ask me right now and my body will scream yes! Ask me in summer as my kids are turning into fish and never out of the pool I may say no. It's such a horrible rock and a hard spot.
I guess it just goes along with my post below about finding and counting my gifts in the small things. I am losing sight of that... outside of my kids... of how find the inspiration in where we are now vs where we have been. I long to go back and maybe someday we will but I have got to find the inspiration here.
The thrill of the day.
It's hard... oh so hard... But it's got to be out there somewhere I just know it.
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