To catch up read part 1 and part 2
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We spent about two years on that location my husband was transferred to. Other then our blow ups of not enough money and such I can only really recall one big blow up. It was night he went out with friends from work and decided to not want to come home till 4. I wanted him home and he thought he was entitled to time out. Never occurring to him that for the past years he was always the one who went out and I was always home with our child.
Why did he never want to take me out?? Why was it always better to go out with friends and never his wife?? We could've tried to find a babysitter I'm sure of it.
He was so damned and determined to hurt me because I was hurting him that he stopped answering his phone. I started to panic. We only had one car and he was in it. What if something had happened to him. I literally called the cops to ask about any accidents along the single highway that ran through that town. Any recent hospital drop offs... all came back none. I called his father, who was always along the same mindset as his son, if he had seen or heard from him. Nope... with that I get a lecture of basically "chill out he'll be home."
He did... hours later. Angry. I had finally got him on the phone a couple times. He kept hanging up on me and words were always exchanged. Again after a day or two of being angry with each other it blew over like it always seemed to do. You know to always rear it's ugly little head at another importune time.
It was shortly after that, that our daughter started asking about Jesus. See I was a Christian but my husband wasn't. He believed in someone higher but not really in God himself. I tried once to get him to read "Purpose Driven Life" with me. Yeah that didn't go so well.
Halloween was around the corner and we planned on hitting up Old Town for some trick or treating. While we were there we kept hearing rumblings of another spot at the grocery store parking lot. We decided to check it out. Low and behold it was a trunk or treat put on by the local churches.
Something seemed to have clicked in my husband that night because he started saying maybe we should check one of them out... you know since our daughter keeps asking about Jesus and all. So we checked one out. It was a Calvary. I went to one as a kid so I figured that might be a good one. Went once... then twice... and then again. My husband really seemed interested and wanted to go. YES! I was back in church and my family was enjoying it too... Thank you God!
A couple weeks after going God was laying heavy on my husband's heart. Although I never knew... until he told me "I'll be right back I'm going to go talk to the Pastor" while we were doing worship at the end of service weeks after attending church. I knew right then and there what had happened and the tears flowed fast and heavy. I was so happy. So excited. So in awe.
That was 3 years ago this Thanksgiving.
At that time we also had gotten pregnant with our second child and had been presented with an offer we had been wanting for what seemed like forever. To move out of state.
We always talked about leaving the state we lived in. Meet in. Grew up in. You know experience life! We got that change after the 2 years of being in that location. We moved many many miles away! States away.
Although the decision to actually move out of state was bittersweet to say the least. We had just found a church. Had started making friends. Real friends. Why now... Then I couldn't shake this thought that maybe God wasn't necessarily wanting us to move either, but because we had asked for it for so long He finally decided to just grant us our hearts desire.
Happy ever after right???
Not so fast...
We had our second child and then 2 1/2 months later we were on the road. Our whole life wrapped tightly on the back of a trailer heading away from the only place we have ever really known. Excitement and anxiousness filled the car.
Brand new baby...
Brand new faith...
Brand new life.
But yes yet again this was another glorious test God was setting us up for.
We got to our new home and we got smacked right away with my husband's job not being at all what he thought it would be. Same company... same title... should be the same right?? Not even. His welcome was insanely less then warm from the employees... all but one.
That one turned my whole life into such a tailspin that sometimes looking back I still don't know what way is up.
We tried to find a church right away but were not successful. The hours my husband had to work just to cover what needed to be done grew longer and longer every day. We both were so unhappy. He would come home and I would be here with the kids and just want to hide! We were stuck in a tiny apartment in a new town with no vehicle. No real anything from my husband on the other end of the line and no one to reach out to. We were both so stretched and read each other wrong daily.
I pushed him away because I was so upset at the situation. I was so upset and defensive like a momma lioness is to her cubs when someone is attacking them. That is how it felt his new job was using and abusing him. I was mad. His brush off attitude towards their behavior always sent me over the edge. I could never understand how could he not care like that.
To be honest I still don't.
Anyways... 2 months after moving my world stopped. It was at this time I found out my husband was having an affair! A full blown sexual affair.
To be continued...
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