I want to be a Jellyfish

Here it is that time again. Time to spill out the contents of my heart to this paper blog and this pen keyboard. I can not shake my Pastor's sermon from Sunday. How strangely fitting it was to my heart and our situation right now. How God spoke to me and my heart is doing nothing by listening.

I want to be a jellyfish.

A jellyfish in God's current.

What does that mean huh? Well our Pastor was using the words of Phil Vischer (you know the guy who created Veggie Tales) and how he felt when he had to let go of Veggie Tales and Big Idea and started his new company... Jellyfish Labs.

Phil says it best right here. (<--- Click there for his full interview... the below backquote is the section of the interview my Pastor used.)

Well, my new company is called Jellyfish Labs—very intentionally, because jellyfish can’t choose their own course. They can’t locomote. They are carried by the current. And they have to trust the current will take them where they need to be and keep them alive.

I went off the track with Big Idea when I started making 20-year plans. I was like, “Okay, God, this is what I’m going to do for You in the next 20 years. Now, all You need to do is just bless it.” When we do this, we don’t have to listen anymore, because we’ve already figured out what we’re going to do. God is in some sort of subservient role where He gets to sit in the back seat and hand out the credit card when we need resources.

But for a jellyfish to make a 20-year plan—it’s humorous. It’s lunatic. I had viewed myself as a big macho barracuda in the ocean of life. In reality, I was a jellyfish—basically a spineless bag of goo that has no form.

This is what I want. I want to be a jellyfish. A jellyfish in God's current.

Bear with me while I talk this situation out for a minute it goes along with his statement in purple.

As you may or may not have been reading lately God is doing something in our lives. This something could mean some big changes for our little family of 5. Changes that would be welcomed either way because they would be only from God. With that being said a wrench, per say, got thrown into the mix last Friday. I got a phone call about a potential change for our family. This potential change though was brought to our attention months and months ago. Nothing ever happened with it and it was also something we weren't 100% comfortable with from the beginning. We pretty much wrote it off completely.

Friday came and here comes this opportunity knocking again. There was nothing I could do about it where I was at right then but I called my husband and told him about it and he simply said "okay." I had mentioned it to some friends and family and at the time they all said "what would it hurt?" Well, for us... a lot. I might get into that in a minute. Anyway, insert a couple days later we still haven't done anything with this information I received on Friday and truthfully I don't think we ever will.

To hopefully help lay this out in my head and for you we will call our experience with the submit button A and this one here from Friday B.

A. Not so many perks. Morally something we could respect ourselves for yet not as much provided up front and could prove to hold more questions and challenges per say.

B. Has a ton of perks. Morally not something we are comfortable with and as my husband puts it would provide a lot the world would view as "making it."

Here comes the wise words of a dear friend who came over for coffee on Saturday where we caught up on life and spilled all details. She laid it out plainly and it brought such peace to my heart.

Her words... in a round about kind of way...

With B everything you question about A (in turns what will A provide) would be completely and fully laid out for you that B would provide. No questions. No worrying. (and the kicker) No need to rely on God to provide it. It would already be there. Now look at A. All you have had to do so far is FULLY and ENTIRELY rely on God... only God... to provide every single detail to get you to where you are at right now. B. has perks sure but A. you have to put your whole heart and soul into God to provide every detail. Why would you even think about B? 

DING DING DING... Exactly what my heart has been singing. It's the exact words that put that flip flop sensation to ease in my stomach. Upon further thinking about this B and talking with my bestest friend something else dawned on me about B. If we were to pursue B (where all answers would already be knowns and there would be no questions at all) then we would be instantly telling God "We have our back up plan already in motion because we don't trust you will come through with our A opportunity." When I stopped to think about it that way it also made sense why we have dragged our feet to even try for anything other than our A opportunity.

God has laid it on our hearts to sit still and not think of anything else other than A. Peace has filled us since day one about A. Never so much with B. I am truly thinking that Satan brought B back into our lives (after months and months of nothing) to test us and see how fully and truly are we leaving every detail to God and God alone?

Unfortunately for Satan I have some bad news... ALL OF IT. FULLY AND COMPLETELY.

Another calming moment about all of this was on Sunday before church my husband was searching his Bible on the topic of GUIDANCE. In his Bible he came upon this.

The last two sentences were the biggest kickers for me, personally. "His Holy Spirit will give you peace about the right decisions and dissatisfaction with the wrong ones. And if you listen carefully, you can have the same kind of assurance Gideon had."

B... gives me... us... dissatisfaction.

A... gives us peace and we aren't anxious about a single thing. Even though A has not be shown to us as a guarantee we know by hitting submit on only A we are doing the right step God wants us to do.

So hear this Satan... B is not on the table or even penciled in anywhere for us. We aren't interested!

B... I feel we would be leading and picking our future ourselves.

A... Gives me peace that I {we} want be jellyfish in God's current. That's all that we want! With A that is exactly what we are doing... moving with his current following his steps.

Are you being a jellyfish in your life right now?