I am ready for the next.
The next anything.
Life is so much nicer when we are on days like Sat. and Wed. Of course it always feels like that when you do a "vacation" type days but the burdened feeling of coming back to the city is hard to carry. We are happier in the lifestyle we left behind up there. Other people pick up and start all over all the time. Why can't we?
Simple... we concluded it yesterday... We think too much. We analyze every detail. Which could not be that bad but at the same time could be a hindrance. So what to do?
Good question. I know pray and wait for God. I know that he has something coming. I know it fluctuates back and forth but I guess going through all of the photos today is not easy on my heart. I long for a different lifestyle for us. My husband and I both do. So much so it hurts.
We are so ready. So ready for whatever is coming. Wherever it may be. We've had 2 jobs offers in different states.... SO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! But we feel so defeated because both were so below what he makes now and in states that have income tax that it would be like 2 pay cuts. We turned both down and were heartbroken to do so. Yet I guess it was the best because it would have been settling just to get out and that isn't what we want to do.
We have talked to realtors and looked at things here. We are still burning both ends of the rope and it feels (on days like today) that it is burning so quickly towards the middle with no wall to stop one side.
So many dreams and aspirations. So many desires for our family. For the kids. Our lives even down to our homeschool. What is the right move? What is the right direction. I know God will bring it... when HIS time is right. I just wish I had some insight.
The simple life. That is all we want. With fields to run in and God's creation all around. The life America was built on. That is the life we long for. Not the city. Not the fast pace of everything.
I guess I needed just to get the burden lifted and write down the insides. I am longing... longing... change.
Maybe it is the coming change of the new season.
I am so ready for a new normal. New scenery. Just new.
Do you ever fight the urge of your longing interrupting your everyday? I am trying to not let this rule and be victorious but I'll be honest it's difficult. I want to enjoy the ordinary until this "new" and "change" comes my way, but honestly it's easier said than done.
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