Truth is I was floored. I had no idea what to say so I tried making the situation light. We never spoke another thing about it. The problem was I continued to have this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that kept screaming "YOU HANDLED THAT WAY WRONG." How to fix it though?
I straight up have no clue how to take a compliment. AT ALL. Never have been able to. Not even from family or friends. I am horrible at it. Horrible I tell you. In the words of my dear husband just a couple weeks ago... "She is so bad at taking a compliment she most of the time says thanks through gritted teeth." Ouch huh?
As soon as he said that nagging in the pit of my stomach came back and I was thrown back to Bible Study, and all the countless other compliments that seem to be thrown at my direction lately. I keep trying to duck them but they keep hitting me in the face and my "I don't know what to say" look.
I am still trying to Biblically research the right way to accept and receive these compliments. I am really at a loss. My normal response to any is just "Thanks." or "Thanks. It's all God." And let's be honest when it comes to anything it really is God, but still I feel I am giving off a horrible impression during these situations.
My feeling was confirmed last week when I walked up to our Associate Pastor to apologize and be honest with him how I and my husband really felt about his outstanding compliment about our children. I told him straight up I stink at taking a compliment and didn't mean to come across as not being sincere or appreciative. I told him that I really had no idea what to say and was sorry it appeared I was joking it off. That we valued his opinion greatly and were floored by the comparison he did of our children.
He very graciously said, with a huge smile, "Thank you for telling me that. It really means a lot." His eyes held though a look of healing. Like I had hurt his heart by my earlier actions regarding his compliment. I was crushed yet felt peace at the same time. I don't want to hurt peoples feelings when they are being sincere. The same has happened when a new friend was complimenting me as well. Same look. Same giggle from me seeming like I am laughing it off, but in truth I just have no idea how to respond.
I don't want to seem ungrateful. I don't want to give off that wrong impression. There is a core issue I feel God is wanting me to work on, on how HE wants me to receive a compliment on a talent or manner of life he has blessed me with. I need a lot of work in this area.
How do you handle compliments?
Do you have any advise or verse(s) I can research on the subject?
I really need some help before I offend someone unknowingly. I really don't want to do that. At the same time I don't want to seem prideful and gloatful (is that a word? no? Ummm not sure what word to use then? forgive me please) or just " yeah thanks." if any of that jumble just made any sense at all.
I want to so badly understand and learn the fine line and proper tone, attitude, approach, etc so that way I can teach and pass this vital key to my children. So when they are faced with these types of compliments and situations they are equipped with the proper knowledge of how to handle these things. I don't feel equipped at all but I would love to be.
2 comments:
I sometimes don't handle compliments well either. But I think a "thank you" is a great way to start receiving them and letting the giver be able to bless you at the same time.
I can sort of relate Lynds. Especially if it's a compliment aimed at me. I never feel worthy of a compliment. I always feel embarrassed and undeserving. For me, I guess it's a lack of self confidence on my part? If someone compliments my kiddos, I am able to thank them and usually, I can agree. For instance if someone says "Your kids are so well behaved." I am able to say, "Thank you, I think they are great kids. God has blessed us."
I've always wondered if there was something else I should be saying instead. This is an interesting topic that I'd love to see how other moms handle.
Post a Comment