When????

My mind is racing in all sorts of directions. I know some big decisions need to be made soon.

How?

By when?

What if?

Where?

It's in the very early stages of talks of yet again another option for our family. Options for our family's future that seems to be taking years to figure out. This seriously has been something we have been trying to figure out for... no joke... 4 years now.

Oh yes the dreaded house and job talks.

The thing is we really need to decide if we are buying a house here or somewhere else and how before I think we can really push for a new job. Which is something we really really want. Why we need to figure this out is the longevity with the job he has now. If we switch jobs then try to buy a house all the prices will go up and that won't be good.

Now the question is raised... Yes we have friends here who have become more like our family than our actual family. We LOVE our church body and for once in our lives are feeling like we fit in/belong somewhere. Problem that arises with this is that our church and our friends can not buy us a house and the prices here are still too steep for our budget and where we are wanting to be. So are we supposed to move away from all of this or find something here that works? We have looked outside our boundaries but still nothing has been found. We are still praying and trying to figure out the down payment part. Even if it's just the min 3.5% for an FHA loan. But still... nothing.

The other issue is we have one family member currently where we live. This one family member is the only active member in our children's lives and this is not something we want to lose. This person loves them and knows them for them... which is huge for us! For them! The bound and love there is like no other. One we don't want to take away from them. However this one family member will not be living in our state forever. Realistically in most likely 2 years or so they could be leaving our state. Leaving our state to potentially go to one of 2 states. Both of which we have never really thought about.

The thought of starting over is exciting yet sickening at the same time. We have made a life here and as beautiful as it would be to keep it and build and grow with it right now we are not really sure how to do that. We can not stay in our apartment for forever just to keep it. There are plus and minuses all the way around.

Homeschool laws are a big deciding factor for us as well.

There are so many things that are about to happen next year should we still be staying here too. Ones that if we move we won't have to do. Simple things like testing for homeschooling through the state that we have to pay for out of our pockets... for scores that no one will see but us. We have to renew our licenses, and things like that. Not life changing things but ones I feel are screaming at me "NOW is the time to make some decisions. Is this where God wants us to stay? If so for how long and do we jump on the housing market here for the time we are here? Or do we move somewhere where our mentioned family member above will eventually go to and snag a killer house for cheaper than here and impatiently await their arrival?"

Ugh... life decisions and growing up can really stink sometimes. We want to make the best move and decisions for our family and are pleading with God for his still small voice to boom overhead and lead the way.

The kids have friends here too. Ones they have grown with the last couple years. Even at just the mention of the possibility of moving out of state brings tears and questions of... "well what about?" It kills me! We just want stability. We want to make a home. A life. One that isn't always having talks of "where are we going and what are we doing? "

These questions and decisions seem to have been all that our life the last 7 years has been about. I am so ready for some sort of answer and direction. Something to be working towards instead of limbo. Growth... for my family... for my marriage... for me.

Where are we supposed to live? What are we supposed to be doing? How are we supposed to do it? and...

WHEN?

Thanks for letting me clear some of my jumbled thoughts out on paper. It's been getting awfully crowded up there.