Married and Dating... Your Spouse

Last night I had a simple text conversation with a friend & it got me thinking. Ok I admit it doesn't take much to do that but this one really got me thinking.

Dating... Your Spouse.

Do you do it?

How do you do it?

I'll be honest it's been so long for us that I am not even sure I know how to "date" my husband on a "outside of the house" kind of thing.

See the thing is being near or far from family we have never really dated. Heck even during our "dating" time we hardly ever dated. Hardly ever were out alone. Hardly ever did the whole dinner, movie thing together alone or anything else for that matter. We were always with our friends and hanging out. Now looking back that seems to answer a lot about our previous issues and unconnectiveness (<- is that a word?) together, but by the grace of God we made it to the aisle. To a time where we already had a child (9 months old at the time of marriage) and two full time jobs. His and mine. Yet even though family lived close by we hardly saw them. That is unless we drove to see them. We had no babysitters. Except at the very beginning of our child's life and we couldn't afford daycare her 2 aunts watched her for a little bit during the day and then on my husband's days off he would watch her.

Yet through all that time no grandparent or aunt, uncle or friends ever offered to watch her so we could go out for an evening. Everywhere we went, we went all together. Even now almost 7 years later it is the same way just with 2 other little adorable children. In the between times we have continued to live close to family and now far from family. Still the story is the same. No babysitters. No out alone time. Since living where we currently live (almost 3 yrs now) I can count on one hand how many times we have been out alone... together. Husband and Wife.

3

3 solitary times.

It's sad I know. It hurts too but that is our reality. So we deal with it. Sure it's mentioned in passing we'd love to be able to go out together and so forth but time, money, and babysitters hold us back. So since our new found affection/outlook for each other in the last 2 years we have started to realize that time alone together is important. We seem to lose ourselves in the daily hub-bub of work, sitting in traffic, changing diapers, and taking care of life. So we have decided to make a more conscience effort to spend time alone together and it isn't so much that we have found this amazing secret or anything. It's quiet simple really...

We just changed our outlook on the things we already were doing. 

Trust me the way you perceive an activity or situation really changes the atmosphere of what that activity could really be. Does that make any sense?

For example:

Our "movie date nights" now consist of a Netflix movie and a big comfy blanket on the couch once the kids go to bed at night.

We already pay for the membership and receive movies why not utilize it. Besides depending on the price bracket you use on Netflix your one movie you receive that you both can watch is the price of one adult to get into the movie theater. Let alone you still have to pay for the other person and/or refreshments. We just include those items into our grocery budget and set them aside for when we have a date night. Plus this way if you watch the movie and then mail it the next day and in 2 days do it all over again when the new movie arrives. That is 2 date night movie nights in a week for the same price of ONE MOVIE FOR ONE PERSON TO GET IN!! Talk about saving some money. lol

Another thing my husband says he enjoys is just us reading in bed at night. Not the same book... to each his own, but he says that just being there together... it means a lot to him. So we add that to our list as well. We used to play scrabble or Yahtzee together at nights. We have talked about wanting to do that again. Or some fun friendly competition with a game on the Wii. Oh yes and we love watching Top Gear together as well. He says being able to  watch things like that together is great time together period. Of course there are some nights of just chatting and so forth, but that is about all the alone excitement there is around our house.

To some I know it could sound very sad and rather boring. How is that bonding or anything like dating your spouse some might ask? Well like I said above it is all in how you look at the activity or situation. If you heart is in the place of this is a "date" then it will feel like a date even if you never walk out of your front door. There are many things you can do. Put in a movie... order dinner out and pick it up on your way home and then set up candles and put the food on your nicest dishes. Instant candle light dinner for 2 and a movie or game afterward if you would like.

There could be endless possibilities. It's all in how you look at it.

So do you date your spouse? 

If so how? 

What do you guys do? 

Please share I'd love to hear.