Wait, What!?

So, I am the parent of one teenager so far. She is an absolute joy! Seriously, I love this stage of life with her. Yes, I just said that I love life with my teenager. She has the best sense of humor and more days then not we getting along beautifully. She truly is one of my best friends!

Earlier this year we hit some rough hormone patches. Truly, none she could control, and none that would be considered normal. My heart ached for her but the parent side of me didn't stop to think of the whys ahead of time. I just reacted, angrily, and would yell "what is going on!?" After figuring out what was going on life became nice again. We understood each other and were able to meet each of those moments with grace and understanding, and thankfully moments like those 2 months have not repeated themselves.

However, it made me think about how so many talk negatively about teenagers. How yes it can seem like their heads are spinning on their shoulders and one minute laughing and the next ready to be the Hulk in any situation. I caught glimpses of that, and in those moments I'll be honest I am not who was more Hulk... her or me. I have a broken door to prove it... from my side of the hallway.

Just being real y'all.

But God hit me with some major revelation recently while I was thinking back on a moment I was crying out to him. I didn't understand how one day I was totally fine. I was at peace and hopeful. I was giddy even and then the next day because of one text/one question I was wanting to be in the fetal position and couldn't even function. It made no sense to me. I had just been fine people!

It was in that moment of crying out asking God,  "why the spiral?" "What had happened?"

He whispered to me... "Haven't you asked that about the mood swings a couple months ago with your daughter? They made you ask... what is going on? If you felt that way with her... how do you think I feel when you do the same thing? Don't you see... you are really no different than a teenager."

I remember standing in the shower staring at the wall going " whoa.... wait, what!? "

Don't you see? We adults, who think we've survived that crazy teenager time that everyone is so upset about, really are still just like teenagers. God, our Father, is sitting up there watching us self destruct asking himself the same questions of "what is going on?" that so many parents of teenagers ask themselves.

As parents we need to show more grace and understanding. We don't need to fly off the handle as well because we feel attacked. They don't understand what is going on but we do. Why do we punish, yell, and make it worse? All they really want is someone to sit with them, hug them, and talk to them. Why would we do that when they were younger but not as they grow up? I think that's part of the problem with the world today. These teenagers want the same love and attentiveness that we gave them as young children. Just because they are older doesn't mean they've out grown wanting/needing it.

God is saying the same thing to us. Our heads spin on our shoulders all the time when we start freaking out over anything. When we start spiraling out of control. God is always sitting there ready to talk, hug us, and just sit with us. That reassuring hand anytime we want to stop the "Tasmanian devil" run through house.

Sadly, too many times to count, we forget how much like a teenager we ourselves can be and let pride and stubbornness get in the way.

"I've got this under control!" 

"Leave me alone..."

"Yep, I'm fine..."

Let's get real for amount shall we...

"No you don't!"

"The last thing you need is to be alone." 

"Honey you are not even close to fine, and that is beyond okay!" 

We may have the titles of parents but we really are not much better than our teenagers. We both struggle with life moments, we both make our parent shake their heads saying "Are you for real right now?" We both let pride stand in the way because "we have a rep to protect."

Don't think I am discrediting quiet moments alone, because there is major value in them, I'm wanting you to stop and think though about what you are doing or turning to in those moments alone. Are they resting at God's feet or only adding fuel to your self destructing "I've got this myself" fire?

So let me ask you today... the next time you spiral down, or your teenager, how are you going to react? Will you pull yourself out of it quickly and go sit with your Father and know that everything is going to be okay? Are you going to go sit with your teenager and reassure them that it's all going to be okay? Or are you going to continue to think "you've got this?" and bark at them "to get over it and snap out of it? What's wrong with you?" Does God make you feel the way those words would make your teenager feel?

I can assure you one is less painful than the other and so much more rewarding from both sides, for all parties.