Flat out.
2015 was.... interesting, to say the least. It held it's fair share of highs and lows; as most years do I suppose. Yet the outlook for this year feels lighter. Call it my hope, call it God saying, "Don't worry my child... I've got this." Call it my desire to not carry any of it because I already know my shoulders weren't meant to. Either way, no matter what, no matter the funk or inconvenience of it all, or God's plan starting to be unveiled, I know this year I am planning to be
CONSUMED
of ONLY God!
I can't be consumed with the things of this world that Satan wants to throw at me and have me kick my feet and call it unfair! Through all of those "unfair" moments of 2015 God remained. His provision and penny showing up when you needed it most was still there. He never wavered. We knew unequivocally that God would provide even though we didn't understand our, yet again, new normal. We know that no matter how the days ahead are inked that God will provide no matter what. He has given us only what we need. Nothing more and nothing less and there is nothing wrong with that.
He has laid it on my heart this year that he wants me only to be 100% utterly and totally CONSUMED in him. That's it. He has laid on my heart to start a photography business but I'm not sure it will be as "the world" thinks it should start. It's 100% not a business for me but a business for God to bless people with, for him. He wants me to immerse myself in his Word everyday. Whether it is by picking a book of the Bible and reading a chapter or two a day, or a Bible reading plan on YouVersion, or both, or devotional, etc... he just wants me covered in His promises, everyday. Something, if I am honest, I have lacked being consistent on over the years.
This last Sunday at church we had a great message on Worship and what it truly looks like and means. That the songs and "performance" are not for "what can I get out of it/or receive each week", but that God is the audience and it's more "what are WE PUTTING into and GIVING to God each week!"
Hello.
I had been praying so hard for God to reveal what he wanted from me this year... what one word had he stamped me with this year, and he revealed in a big way through tear streaked eyes on Sunday to be utterly and totally consumed so that every time I come to Him I leave it all at his feet. Worshipping my heart out to him... in everything. Every moment.
He flat out said, "I am calling you deeper still..." but you have to be totally consumed in me.
In the moment of singing that above line in Chris Tomlin's "Good Good Father" God said, "Daughter, I'm not just taking you out into the waves but I am calling you deeper still. But you have to give me your first so you can continue to find yourself when you lay your life down and your knees hit the ground."
I know without a doubt that this year will be only one God could have inked and I truly can not wait to see what story he has written for us this year. I can not wait to have him mold me to be even braver as I consume myself in him and utterly trust his revealing.
*links are to the songs God has laid on my heart to be my "anthems" in this new year.*
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