Oh my mind.
It's spinning circles this morning.
Not sure it's really headed in one direction or the other, or just looking back and forward of all that is... my script.
My marriage.
My family.
Our Homeschooling.
The season of life that we are in.
All of it.
Looking back it's been such an unbelievable ride. If you told me all those years ago that I would be where I am today I would not have believed you. The script then didn't appear at all to be leading to scenes that are now unfolding for our audience. I love the way the story is unfolding. Predictable parts. Tears. Laughter. Climaxes and rollercoasters. Love. Anger. All the parts of a good story... written by the best author and screenplay writer around.
God.
How blessed is that!?
Money can't pay for that awesomeness.
His Son's blood did.
I am so blessed.
Unworthy and yet here I am.
It's that time of year to where everyone RE's everything in their lives. You know re-evaluates, re-dos, reschedules... you get the point. They RE... everything. The fresh starts come every morning yet we always long for RE's at the beginnings of months and years. Since both are so fast approaching, and I am human after all, my RE word is jotting ideas down on paper seeking God what RE do I (we) need to apply in this coming season.
What changes to my script need to take place, be added to, tweaked, or relished more of.
More time with my husband.
That is a big one that needs to take place.
Just us.
More time away from the phone and computer. Soaking up all that my kids are and love right now, in this moment, that is them.
More freedom away from the scrutiny of the lesson plan telling us what to learn that day.
Or the textbook saying how.
Pursuing the new desires of my children.
More breaks for dancing in the living room and laughing till our sides hurt.
More moments to through out the calendar and just dive into an adventure.
More yes' to the next steps God has called us to pursue in his Kingdom.
Sounds crazy simple doesn't it? Yet it always ends up so black and white. It has to be this way or no way. That isn't really how it has to be though. There is room to do it all like that. If we make effort to do so.
We've been praying about our homeschool. The craziness of the last year and years beforehand has not exactly provided the vision we thought our homeschooling time would look like. We've been praying about what next or how next. I keep hearing... "you are not yet done, my daughter." That scares me and excites me at the same time. Any homeschooling momma I think can fully appreciate that honesty.
Scared:
What does that look like for us?
Excited:
What does that look like for us?
These past 2 light schoolwork weeks has been rejuvenating for the soul. It's allowed that quiet time with God asking and the listening my heartstrings have asked for... yet I need more. Long for more and my listening ear knows there is more. Awesome homeschooling time awaits us around the bend.
Topics and talks.
Exploring and growth.
Stepping away from the schedule and lesson plan and not freaking out if it isn't all complete.
Looking at the time... the irreplaceable time... that was spent growing with my kids.
That is far more important than being on the right lesson number coordinating with the date on the calendar.
Lots to still ask, listen, and respond to.
So much God is preparing our hearts for. Next steps and new adventures in this life of ours. There is more new on the horizon. No light or sign but it's one of those moments where you feel a change in the scene coming. Although, as any good writer does, he leaves the audience clinging to their seats with baited breath for that moment. The best part is this writer calls for his audience to be clinging to his feet with baited breath from his next soft spoken word to warm their soul and direct them to their next scene vs just their seats. Yet both require being still and full attention on him.
We are clinging to him. Anxiously awaiting all he wants to reveal.
The story isn't over. There is no ending as the year is drawing to a close. This is just the beginning and not because the "new" is weeks away but because this just happens to be the best part of the book. Where you feel you are really getting cozy into the story... that is your life.
Song of my soul... One of the many...
I'm tired, do I have to keep proving myself
I'm weary and drawing from an empty well
I need You more than I ever have
So Jesus come and shatter my darkness somehow
I won't speak until You speak
I won't move until You move me
I won't sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes
I'm restless for something significant
But I'm helpless cause I've done all I can
I want You more than I ever have
So Jesus come and hold me, I'm shaking right now
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
I won't speak until You speak
I won't move until You move me
I won't sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes
You are the Comforter so comfort me
You're the Sustainer so be enough for me
You are my Father and Your love for me
Is where I find my rest
I won't speak until You speak
I won't move until You move me
I won't sing, sing over me
I will wait as long as it takes
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