When you think you haven't... Think again...

I have been very captivated by my thoughts lately. Not sure what it is. Maybe it is the impending birthday that is lurking up slowly ready to pounce on me this Friday!?

The big 2-9

Seems like forever ago I was 20. Heck 19. That is the year I met my husband. Just days after I had turned 19. Anyways... I have been thinking about how much has gone on in my life in the last 9 years.

I was dating my husband. We broke up for a couple months. Got back together. Got Pregnant. I had my daughter when I was 21. Got Married at 22. Became a full time SAHM at 23. Had my second child at 25. Made a huge move out of state at 25. Had my third child at 27.

Nothing big planned for 29. I promise!

Although looking at the above timeline you would like I was due for one. I can confidently say though there is no baby #4 planned for 29. heehee

I look back on my life sometimes and think I haven't done anything of significance since graduating high school. I gave up a full 2 year ride to college. I don't make any of my own money and at times feel like I have lost all the dreams I once had. Funny thing is though if I sit and try to remember what any of those dreams were I can't. I can't remember any of them. In their spot though are new dreams. Some are merely selfish that I know I will never do, but almost all of them are dreams for my family. I sadly though let those dreams cloud the beauty of what is presently.

See that is just it. I have done so much in the last 9 years. I have a husband that I have struggled with. Been down in the dumps with, and resurrected like the Phoenix with. Stronger than ever before and even though the pain was there, what is here now is better than I could have ever pictured my marriage to be. To anyone for that matter. I have 3 of the most amazing children that I love oh so dearly. They absolutely complete me to no end. I am so thankful to be able to spend all day with them and to watch them blossom and bloom to all that God has in store for them.

Back at 19 I never would have thought I would be married right now. Going on 7 years next month. I most certainly never would have thought that I would have 3 children or be at home with them full time. I always thought I'd travel. Be involved with the rodeo life like I was in high school or still be working in an office somewhere. A big important job in a high rise. Trust me the dirt on your boots and dusty old Wranglers are way more me then a pair of high heels and a skirt any day, but it was still a thought I had at where I would be at 29.  I've got to tell you though I have come to realize that God has placed me in the most perfect spot and position I ever could have imagined. The role and job he has given me is far more impactful (to me and my family) then any high rise job any day. It's taken a lot to realize that and there are still days I linger on the thoughts of "what could have been." I think that is normal but the bottom line I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I just pray that for the next 9 years I will remember and still hear God's small voice saying "This is your field. Your missionary field. Your advertising field. Your everything field. You are ministering to these children and advertising my love to them daily. That is more precious than any gold or jewel or paycheck any day."

So here is to 29.

29 wonderful years I have been blessed with so far. I only pray that I can continue to have many more and to pass forward all the bountiful glories God has taught me and blessed me with over the course of my life.

Thank you Lord for these years of my life. Thank you for all that you have done for me and continue to do. I pray I hold those close to my heart always and not let the worldview of success or dreams ever stand in the way of all the beauty you have in store. Thank you!!