Questions

I am trying so hard to understand.

At the same time by my questions I feel I am tell God I doubt all that he is doing... whatever that may be.

This last week Hubby's district has been making some moves to staff a store opening up north. Have we thought that Hubby would be heading up there?

No.

Not one bit.

But there have no been some moves done with some people in his store that I plum just don't understand. Ok there are 2 I completely understand. One I am happy for the guy, and the other I just think was a horrible move. Even though I like the guy I just don't think it was a good choice.

But who am I to say or think anything about it.

As it stands right now Hubby is the only Senior Asst. Manager on the floor for the store (no promotion just "extra" work). The soft side Senior is getting transferred to another store and they are doing a lateral move for another guy. He will "run" soft side, but not as a Senior only as a dept. manager. I totally know this is confusing sorry!

What I don't understand right now is why isn't Hubby moving anywhere??? Not that any of the spots that were open were promotions, but because God had worked our lease to stay month to month. We thought for sure that meant a move could be coming up. We thought for sure there was no way we'd be staying here if he made that happen.

Now sure I realize it's only been a couple months since that happened and we still a long time until the year mark of signing the month to month but still. I don't understand. Hubby had even told his district manager that he was available to go anywhere and unlike some that have been moved because he doesn't own a house like they do. We figured that really worked in his favor. No need to wait on any strings and such. Now granted the moves that have been made recently put one guy closer to his house and the other guy is just going to a store a city up from the store he is in now, but still.

I just don't understand.

I don't understand what God is doing.

I know that he is doing something even though I don't see it or feel it. I trust in that and believe it with all that I am. It just feels like we have been waiting so long for God to direct us to where he wants us to go and haven't heard anything. The waiting is getting hard. It feels like we are sitting on a wall unsure of which side to put our feet. We want to plant roots. We want to build a home somewhere. Not in the literal from the ground up kind of sense, but we are ready for a house. A place to call home.

Here... Somewhere else... Wherever...

God has known these needs of ours before we were even created and I know that he already knows the plans for those needs and how they will be taken care of. I find peace and rest in that.

I guess just the news of all of the moves and nothing about us it is just wearing me down today. Feeling broken and in a when is it our turn kind of day. I hate feeling that way because in all honestly any other time I don't feel that way at all. Quite the opposite really. I know what we are doing is what God wants us to do. Whatever it is that we are doing. I guess I am just letting Satan get the best of me today and the green eyed monster of jealously and envy. I hate that!!!

I am so beyond thankful for all that God has given me. Despite my desires of wanting a house I have a husband who faithfully has a job and works hard everyday. I have 3 beautifully healthy children that I am blessed to be able to teach and spend all day with, and I have a roof over our heads that help keep us warm, dry, cool, and safe. We have a safe reliable vehicle and gas in the tank. Food in the kitchen. I have a God that loves me and has blessed me beyond belief. I know that he has things in store for us. Whatever they may be. Possibly better than we have ever imagined. Only he knows.

I will faithfully continue to wait to hear his voice and watch for his hand guiding the way along the path he wants us to take... Wherever... if anywhere... that may lead.

Thanks I needed to get all that out.