How Still Do You Wait??

It's late when we head to bed and we totally know that it is probably inevitable that our 6 month old son could be waking up again, yet we pray for just a little sleep. Our poor, old, creaky mattress makes so much noise that we try, very quietly, to get into the covers. Sigh of relief... ok he didn't wake up... yet. We lay there, say our prayers together, and start to fall asleep. 


Then you hear it... A little whimper... A little wrestling coming from the crib against the wall. You lay there as still as can be thinking "please don't wake up. Not yet. Please just let mommy and daddy get at least 45 mins of sleep then we can be all yours again. You try not to breathe too loud or hard thinking the slightest move you make will disturb his slumber. Another sigh as you drift to sleep... He didn't wake. 

Last night as this situation played out for me a thought came into my head. It had to be from God himself because I have never thought about this before. I think it was a lesson because of the verse and stance I and my husband have decided to take this year...Standing still and waiting to hear the Lord's direction and Vision for our lives. (which is also my first 24 verses for the year)









While I laid there I heard...

"When you are waiting to hear from me do you lay as still and as quiet as you are right now as if to now wake your son?"

Hello... Talk about a wake a call!? I really had to sit there and think about it. My answer a resounding

No.I.Do.Not

How sad is that?

It dawned on me that I sit and wait to hear the Lord in the hustle and bustle of daily life.

I sit and wait to hear Him while I continue to talk and ask over and over to be shown His Will.

While I am talking to Him and telling Him "I know in your time you will reveal it, but when is that Lord?"

How am I to hear anything while I am the one doing all the talking.

He knows my needs.

He knows the desires of my heart.

Why do I keep hounding Him, if you will, to reveal himself when He has it all figured out! Patience has never been one of my strong suits. I am only human after all, but still I long for more patience.

Tonight I was tested. Tested again in a subject that I long for deeply. I think I was tested to see if I would be anxious and start to become forceful. Meaning would I take matters into my own hands to create an answer for my complaint. I am happy to say I don't think I did. Compared to how I have been in the past... Frantically searching and scouring every last possible avenue seeking if an answer now arrives... I calmly answered. I didn't start searching everything again, and I told my husband what was said.

My complaint... Buy a house!

Here though where we currently live there is nothing affordable for us. Only out of state. Which I don't know about you, is not something we can just pick and go to... even though our hearts desire would love to.

My dad was again telling me how we need to be exhausting every avenue to get ourselves into a house. It's a buyers market. The interest rates are on the rise. Yeah... yeah... yeah dad all things we are very much aware of, but for one we are unable to change our current situation and make an affordable, sturdy, clean house appear out of thin air. I can however make all the unafforable, fall down, dirty houses appear with the snap of my fingers.

Now please know I in no way mean to be disrespectful. Nor did I actually talk to my father like this... nor would I ever. I know better, but still the fact that we set a budget for ourselves and refuse to go over that for danger of living outside of our means we are unable to purchase anything at this time.

We also feel that we are pretty sure God does not want us to purchase a home here. It's an odd... this is not your home... type of feeling. Like we aren't meant to stay here for a long period of time. Of course we just spent our 3 Christmas in the same drafty too small of an apartment, but still we just feel God wants us somewhere else possibly. Where still remains to be seen. Which brings me back to what God was teaching me last night while I lie in bed.

I have been spending the last couple years doing all the talking. All the asking. Searching. Scouring every newspaper and for sale ads. I have been the one begging my husband to search for a transfer to any of these locations with great home prices, and homeschooling laws. All steps I never should have been doing if I was truly letting God take the pilot seat. Why does self always have to try to run the show!? Ugh I tell you what.

So right now I am going to do exactly what God instructed me to so plainly and calmly.

Sit still.

Breathe quietly and calmly and not move.

He knows my needs. He already knows the answer and the how to get to that point. He knows the final result. I know He will reveal it to me and I will be so still and quiet that it will be as loud as day. No worrying. No scouring. All will align because He will have designed it that way.

So it brings me to ask...

How still do you wait??

(This was on the Reminders from God gadget I have on my iGoogle homepage. It changes every morning. No coincidence to God this morning's reminder was this... "To the listening ear I speak. To the waiting heart I come." --Two Listeners ... I'm listening Lord and waiting for your timing. *smile* Oh the peace that brings in living that. No freak outs. No anxious heart. Just peace.)