Wednesday, December 16, 2009

End of another year approaching

I have been doing a load of reflecting. Pretty normal this time of year isn't? For me it is.

This year has been full of many wonder things. We welcomed our 3rd child. Started another great year of Homeschooling. My husband got Baptized, he got a promotion at work, and we learned to talk deeper more than we ever have before. I have learned many wonderful things about him and have thoroughly enjoyed him opening up more to me and visa versa. Really saying what is on his mind. It's been good no matter if the topic is good or bad.

One of my favorite memories through the last year is one night that we started talking after putting the kids to bed. When we started we didn't need any lights on because it was still bright outside. It kept getting darker and darker and we just kept on talking. We didn't stop till around 11:30pm or so, and never once got up to turn on a light. It was awesome! My husband actually recalls that night quite often.

I have come to terms with being very thankful for my husband's affair 2 years ago. Doesn't that just sound absurd being thankful my husband had an affair? But to me it doesn't. I told that to my husband just a couple days ago and he was just stunned. He literally told me he "never thought he would hear me ever say I was thankful for her and for the events that took place"

How could I now be though!?

I really fell in love with my husband after the reveal of his affair. We grew together with God after his affair. My husband decided to take his Christianity and marriage and role of husband and father more seriously after his affair. It brought him closer to God. For himself and not for the others around him.
I learned to praise the Lord through the storm no matter how big or small. I learned to trust and lean on Him like never before. It also worked on my faith and walk with the Lord, and for that I am forever grateful. I learned that I didn't need to depend on my husband's words or actions to dictate my worth or how my day was going to be. I learned that I get all of that from God.

And yes you read that right... I really truly fell in love with my husband after his affair. A deeper more real love then I ever thought we were capable of. I think for the longest time we just went through the motions together. Does that make sense?? Since his affair he (and I) is making it a point that we talk. I mean really talk. Not just so how was your day type stuff. He actually will let me vent and then sit back and evaluate what that means. That is huge for us. One I treasure. I have learned a lot about myself as well in this growing process.

I know the Lord isn't close to being finished with us yet. I relish in knowing that, and can't wait to see what He has in store.


My husband and I have talked in detail how we want to grow stronger and stronger every passing day. We want to do devotionals together and have looked at oh so many. We have some in mind just need to purchase them and the coordinating workbooks.

If you have any suggestions send them over. We welcome them all.

My prayer is that we take this wonderful 2nd chance from God... the one chance where we have been rocked to the core and realized is God's blessing... and run with it to the ends of the earth. Scream it from the roof tops. We aren't perfect. We still stumble but we are dusting ourselves off and singing praises the whole way. We want to grow and learn more and more about each other.

I want to be that helpmate God created me to. If I truly am that influential player on my team I want a good heart because I know all too well "that my attitude reflect the aroma of my heart!" I want to work on the wall "in front of my house" and my husband work on his so together we can build that "stone wall" around our house and be fireproof.
 
I want to work on keeping my eyes and ears open to His Word and grow closer to Him with each passing day...I am working more in believing that I am the only one for my husband and that his desire for me is genuine and that nothing is going to be tarnished later.

I resolve to continue to give all to the Lord... My life, My home, My family, My marriage... My Everything...

I am very excited to see what He has written on my script for the upcoming year.

No matter what... I praise Him!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

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